Daddy
by NickandLiv
Summary: After her nightmare with Lewis is finally over, Olivia's life spins out of control in a whole new way. Set after Beasts Obsession. Bensidyish. Rated M for future content.
1. Pieces

**This story takes place immediately after Beasts Obsession and I hope you enjoy it…well, as much as one can enjoy a story like this. I have no ideas on how long this story will be, could be 5 chapters, could be 50; it's over when it's over. Also, I'll be taking creative liberty with a few details, nothing huge, mainly things like ages and timeframes. That being said, Dick Wolf owns the SVU characters, all others belong to me.**

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><p>"<em>No, no it's not that…I love you, Liv"<em>

"_I love you too Brian…I always will"_

_Of all the time for such things to be running through my head while I'm sitting in a hospital room covered in William Lewis' blood, this…now? But what else should I be thinking of? It's not as if there were very many pleasantries from which I could draw on to take my mind away from the situation that was and it wasn't as if our breakup had been the worst thing I'd been through…today was proof of th…_

"Can I call anybody for you? Family?" she heard the nurse ask, pulling her from her reverie.

"No, it's…no. Thank you." she watched with a blank stare as the nurse turned and left the room before she looked up at her partner with those same blank eyes "How's the girl?"

"Her father and sister are with her…" Nick answered but if he had to be completely honest, Amelia wasn't his top priority at the moment, he was worried about Olivia; he'd seen when he untied her from that table at the granary that her belt and pants were undone but she'd been so completely out of it – still is even as they sit here and he can't help but wonder what that monster had done to her, if Lewis had succeeded in violating her in the worst way possible. Yet still, in spite of the hell she'd just been put through, all Olivia could do was worry about Amelia and if _she was okay._

"He didn't…?" Olivia asked worriedly

"No, he didn't" Nick assured her, knowing just what she was asking. "She was just bait."

"For me…" Olivia uttered, Murphy's words suddenly playing back in her head "_he's not interested in that little girl…" _he got what he wanted" she said with the sudden realization that Murphy had been right and the blank look in her eyes became even more vacant.

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><p>Nick and Fin wanted to stay with her once they'd gotten her home but the only thing she wanted was solitude; to be alone with her thoughts but within a couple of hours of them leaving at her insistence, the quiet became too much and her thoughts were nothing more than tortuous reminders of the new hell she'd been put through at the hands of William Lewis.<p>

"I should just have NYPD begin forwarding my paychecks straight to Lindstrom" she mused, unsettled by how much additional therapy she'd probably need to get past this latest disaster. She quickly sat up from where she lay on the sofa when she heard the doorbell, praying that Nick or Fin had decided to ignore what she'd said earlier and that one or both of them had come back and give her the comfort of presence that she so desperately needed right now but was stunned when she opened the door to see Brian standing there.

He looked at her nervously, sympathetically when she opened the door, seeing her broke his heart and he fully expected that she'd give the usual _I'm fine _and say that she didn't want to be bothered; some sort of shut down but that wasn't at all what he got.

"I heard about…" he began but before he could finish, she'd thrown herself into his arms, hers tight around his neck and began sobbing, letting out everything she'd been keeping in. Brian stood there in the doorway, absolutely stunned into silence as he held her. He hadn't been prepared for this; Olivia didn't break, she didn't cry and certainly never with him. This was foreign territory and he had no idea how to navigate it but he knew one thing, she needed him right now and if he hadn't been sure that he'd made the right decision in coming to her, he had no doubts in his mind right now and he held her even tighter.

"It's okay Liv, I'm here" he said softly. After a moment, she pulled away and looked up at him, her eyes already swollen from the tears that had been cried, the tears that still streamed her face and without a word, she kissed him intensely…desperately while clinging to him as if he were her gravity.

As good as it felt to have her in his arms, this wasn't what he'd come here for.

"Liv…Liv stop"

"Brian please, I need this right now, I need you!" she begged

"You're vulnerable right now; you only think this is what you want" he protested

"I know what I want. I want to feel something other than this numbness inside me! Please Brian" she begged as she kissed him "Please!"

Against his better judgment, he gave in and they made love without inhibition, frantically again and again through the remainder of the day and late into the night. she knew that she'd hurt like hell tomorrow but didn't care, squeezing her eyes shut as her final orgasm tore through her before she finally gave in to sleep; much to his relief because he physically couldn't again and was more than happy to join her in slumber, wondering as he drifted off, how long she'd let him be here for her. He got his answer the next morning when he woke up to a note on the pillow.

_Thanks for last night but clean break ok? Let yourself out._

_Liv_

"Did you really even have to wonder?" he asked himself as he crumpled the note in his hand and let out an exasperated sigh as he threw it across the room and into the wastebasket.

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><p><strong>If you think you have this story figured out, recalibrate those thoughts! I'll be back very soon with chapter two – if you guys want me to continue, so please review and tell me what you think.<strong>


	2. Backtracking

**Can I just say thanks for the reviews and follows this story has gotten since just yesterday? You guys really know how to make a girl feel the love. Thank you, thank you, thank you; from the bottom of my heart! *blows kisses* so here we are with chapter two and I know you guys are wondering just what the hell the gist of the story is, well this chapter spells it out and I hope you're all still with me once it does. Not much more to say except that this chapter is long, Dick Wolf owns all SVU characters and I own what I own which is basically a pretty bitchin shoe collection and a few original characters. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter contains rape and violence.**

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><p><strong>Reader comments<strong>

**Bobbie23 chapter 1 . Oct 5**

**Fantastic start, it's such an honest reaction to that kind of situation and something that I thought was lacking in the episode. I think you played out Liv's need to feel something other than terror perfectly. I also liked how you had Brian reluctant about, doubting if it is was something they should do. If I want you to continue? Please do, because you may have me hooked already. I'm excited to see where you'll take us and the characters with this story. - **You and me and back and forth on each others stories...i love it! I hope this chapter impresses you as well.

**LoisAndClarkSuperfan chapter 1 . Oct 5**

**Hmmm...I thought I knew where it was headed until you told me to recalibrate...so now I have no clue. But I can't wait to find out! **- all is revealed in this chapter. BTW, your latest is killing me in all the right ways!

**Jannickesart chapter 1 . Oct 5**

**Ok, you need to continue! Like fast! I loved it. Loved how she broke down and how she came back up again as her cold and distant self... Poor Brian ;-P Looking forward to reading more! - **Thanks doll, hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.

**Saradawn723 chapter 1 . Oct 5**

**Bensidy-ish...this makes me worry. You gonna kill Brian? I don't trust you lol. But I do like the new story and you know I'll follow you anywhere. Dear god I'll regret that. - **Read my lips: no dead Brian!

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><p><strong>.<strong>

It had been five days since she stood bound to a table in the granary and forced to watch Lewis put a bullet into his own brain and showering her with his blood. Last spring he'd tortured her and horrendously scarred her body; this time he made sure he'd finished the job of scarring her soul.

"_Say goodbye Olivia…this is the last thing you're gonna think about before you die…the last thing you're gonna see"_

She shook the memory out of her head and tried to focus on the work in front of her, noticing her phone screen lighting up as yet _another _call from Brian came through. She knew that he meant well and that he was concerned about her, especially with how she left things with them a week ago. She hadn't meant to be so callous with the way she said goodbye to him but it was all she could do with the emotional state she was in. _Sorry Bri, right now it's not you, it's me. _she thought as she stared at the screen before declining his call.

_Benson. Leave a message._

"Liv hey, it's me again…Brian. Listen, I don't wanna be a pest or anything but this is like my tenth call in a week and I just wanna know if you're alright considering…I shouldn't have let it go that far, I came to you to be a friend and I feel like I took advantage; I don't know, maybe you feel it too which is probably why you won't talk to me… look, Liv I know that we're not together but I care about you; please, just call or text or tweet… considering neither of us have a twitter that's probably not the best idea but just let me know that you're okay; that we're okay – after that you can tell me to fuck off!" he said with a small laugh. "Okay…bye."

He ended the call and stared at his phone wistfully before putting it back in his pocket and leaving the locker room.

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Back at the sixteenth, Olivia typed out a quick text to Brian, deciding that he deserved at least that much.

_I appreciate the concern but I'm fine. No need to keep calling._

She quickly hit send and tossed the phone onto her desk as Murphy came through the squad room totally surprised to see her.

"Sergeant what the hell are you doing here?" He asked

"Working?"

"I don't mean…you're supposed to be resting, taking it easy"

"I did that, I'm bored"

"After 4 days?"

"You don't know me very well do you?"

"Benson, go home. Watch TV, sleep, take a class I don't care just get out of my squad room before 1PP accuses me of overworking the city's newest hero."

"Murphy…"

"Come on, a week, I gotta at least look like I'm taking care of you"

"Fine!" she relented, tossing her pen and shutting her laptop. She had begun gathering her things when the squad room doors opened and a uni walked in escorting a young woman. She looked to be about 25 was dressed casually in black leggings and a long sweater and she was covered in visible bruises to her face and neck, the most prominent being the black and purple swelling to her left eye that left the young woman unable to even open it.

"Sergeant, we got a spousal rape, wants to file charges" the young officer informed Olivia. Olivia in turn looked over at Murphy as if asking permission and since Neither Fin, Amaro or Rollins were there, he sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Go" he said, the word barely having left his mouth before Olivia was striding across the room to make her way to the victim.

"I'm Sergeant Benson but you can call me Olivia" she said softly to the woman as she led her to the interview room.

"I'm Faith" the young woman said nervously, looking around as if she expected that at any minute someone would be coming after her.

"That's a very pretty name. Faith, why don't you sit down, get comfortable and when you're ready you can start by telling me what happened. In the meantime can I get you something to drink or…?"

"No…no I'm fine" Faith had chosen a seat at the table in the room, wrapping her arms around her thin body upon settling in the chair, Olivia taking the chair facing her. "I just…I don't know if I should be here, what if he…" she said almost in tears as she looked over her shoulder at the door.

"Faith…Faith listen to me okay? He cannot hurt you here" Olivia assured her "You're in a safe place. And if you let me help you, I promise he will never hurt you again."

"Nobody can protect me from him"

"I will" _even if I'm not so good at protecting myself…_

"You sound so sure"

"I'm pretty good at what I do" Olivia said with a soft smile "will you trust me?"

There was a long silence in the room as Faith sat with her head down, nervously chewing her already split bottom lip as Olivia sat patiently waiting for the young woman to agree to let her help. Finally, Faith took a deep breath and looked up at Olivia with her eyes full of tears.

"My husband…he has so many rules…too many to remember"

"Rules?"

"…on how I should look, things I should do, say…he has rules for everything and he gets angry when I forget"

"Is that how you got these?"Olivia asked, gesturing to the bruises that covered the young woman. Again, Faith simply nodded as the tears she'd been holding back broke free.

"He likes his dinner on the table at 6pm when he walks in the door…I was ten minutes late and…" she stopped as her phone pinged in her purse. Nervously she removed the device from her purse and read the message that had come through. "This was a mistake" she said as she practically jumped out of her seat.

"Faith, was that him?"

"I shouldn't have come here…I'm sorry to have wasted your time. I gotta go!" Faith cried and ran for the door, throwing it open and fleeing down the hall.

"Fuck!" Olivia seethed and quickly went after her. She was nowhere in sight by the time Olivia made it to the hall outside of the squad room and Olivia figured that she must have already gotten an elevator as she turned toward the exit to the stairs and ran down.

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By the time she'd reached the lobby, she saw Faith running from the building and followed her outside.

"Faith, wait!" she called, catching up to her just as she was about to cross the street.

"I have to go!"

"Faith please, just let me help"

"I told you before, you can't" Olivia hated these cases the most, the ones where she knew she cold make a difference but the victims were just too afraid to cooperate. She couldn't keep the young woman here and force her to give a statement so she had no choice but to let her go.

"Please, take my card" she said as she scribbled her number on the back "I'm giving you my cell number, if you change your mind, and I pray you will, you call me any time day or night, I promise I'll answer." Faith stood staring at it for a brief moment before quickly taking the card, again looking over her shoulder.

"If he finds this…"

"Memorize the number and throw it away but I pray that you'll use it"

"I have to go" she said again before running across the street and disappearing down the block. Olivia stood and watched until Faith was out of sight then hung her head and let off a long sigh before heading back inside.

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><p>.<p>

Later in the squad room, Olivia sat at her desk absently going over case files but unable to get Faith off her mind; she still hadn't heard from her since she went running from the precinct this morning and now as it neared midnight, she couldn't help feeling that she wouldn't.

"Still here?" Nick asked as he walked in carrying a bag of something that smelled divine to Olivia

"I didn't want to go home" she answered quietly "What's in the bag?"

"Well, I figured you'd still be here and if you were there's a pretty good chance that you hadn't had dinner"

"I'm actually starving!"

"I figured that too so I stopped by Vinnie's and got some of your favorites" he said as he put the bag down on her desk and pulled up a chair "mind if I join you?"

"Nick, you are a godsend, of course I don't mind!"

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"Good to see your appetite returning"

"You and me both!" she smiled as she dropped her napkin onto her almost empty plate "But I seriously cannot eat another bite I'm so full!"

"Same!"

"Thanks again Nick"

"You're welcome; It's good to see you smiling."

"I'm moving toward a good place"

"You and Cassidy? – if you don't mind me asking"

"No; that's still…what it is and I don't see us going back to…no."

"I'm sure he's just worried about you; we all are. None more than me"

"What do you mean?"

"Liv…at the granary, I saw…your clothes were undone and you were so out of it I just…I didn't mention what I saw to anybody but I've been going crazy wondering…"

"He didn't rape me"

"Then what…?"

_Suddenly she was back there in that room and she could feel him behind her, his breath on her neck then his lips on hers; roughly twisting her head around to force his kiss on her – his greedy, violent kiss before his hands were everywhere and she wished she were anywhere but there, complete panic setting in when he undid her belt and she felt him tearing at her jeans…_

"Just a failed attempt" she said near a whisper, her mind suddenly back in the present "But it's over. All of it is behind me and that's where it stays – behind me!"

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"You know what to do?" he asked. Everything had to be perfect if his plan was to work.

"I got this far didn't I?"

"You did, and I'm grateful"

"Just be grateful with my money when the job's complete! And you wanna tell me again why you need me?"

"Not really"

"She's your ex girlfriend, I mean why don't you just call her up and tell her you miss her?"

"It's complicated…this way is better" the man said

"As long as you got my money I don't give a shit!" she said as she held out her hand

"Always the bottom line with you whores" he scorned as he put an envelope full of cash in her eager palm. "twenty five hundred…you get the rest if and when she shows up"

"Oh she'll show up; and when she does, I'm thinking bonus!"

"Sweetheart, the bonus I got for you…you'd never expect it even in your wildest dreams" he smiled

"That's what I like to hear" she grinned.

She had no idea the man she was dealing with.

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><p>.<p>

"I should get home" Olivia said as she stacked the files on her desk. After their impromptu dinner, she and Nick spent another two hours getting paperwork done and now half past midnight, they were both exhausted and ready to call it quits. "Can't believe he's making me take a week"

"This time I won't argue with Murphy, you should take a little time off. You just be sure to pick up when I call in the morning, you know the drill"

"Call every morning and at night; yeah, yeah" she grinned, rolling her eyes "It's not necessary you know, Lewis is dead in case nobody told you"

"Better safe than sorry; shit happens!"

"Preaching to the choir, Nick"

"Come on, I'll drive you home" he offered as he got up. she didn't have a chance to answer him, her phone suddenly ringing.

"Hold that that thought… Benson" she answered and as met with the sound of heavy breathing from the other end "Hello?"

"Olivia?" a woman's voice cried from the other end "You said I could call any time" she continued sobbing, Olivia's heart filling with fear and relief all at once

"Faith?"

"He said he'd kill me…he wouldn't stop beating me. I hit him with a lamp, he staggered and I ran!"

"Honey, where are you? Are you safe?"

"I'm in a diner…I don't know where, I'm in my pajamas I…I just kept running until I couldn't!"

"You did the right thing. Faith ask a waitress where you are, I'll come get you"

"Okay"

Olivia waited while faith got the information she needed and quickly jotted it down.

"Smokie's, I know where that is, just sit tight, I'm on my way" she assured Faith before ending the call

"What…?" Nick asked

"Young victim came in this morning, husband raped and beat her but she was scared to death and ran back to him before she could tell me everything."

"And let me guess, he attacked again?"

"Thankfully she managed to get away…I need to go to her"

"I'll come with"

"I think I should go alone, I'm trying to get her to trust me and if she sees you it might scare her off"

"Liv…"

"Nick, I'll be fine"

"So help me; you lock the car windows…and the doors and you call me the second you get there!"

"Okay dad. Go home, stop worrying" she said as they left the squad room together.

Downstairs in the parking lot, he got into his car while she took the brown SUV that belongs to the department.

"Call" he sternly reminded

"Goodnight Nick" she grinned before they drove off in separate directions.

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><p>.<p>

Olivia arrived at the out-of-the-way diner twenty minutes later. After calling Nick, she got out of the car and went inside, showed her badge to the waitress on duty and asked about the young woman who had come in; the waitress, happy that someone would be helping the girl, gladly escorted Olivia over.

"I got here as fast as I could" Olivia apologized to Faith who sat curled up in a booth, nervously sipping a mug of tea that the waitress had been kind enough to give her on the house. She was sickened when she sat down and Faith looked up at her, her long red hair falling away from her face to reveal a barrage of new and worse cuts and bruises.

"I can't go back there" she wept silently

"And you never have to again" Olivia promised, her heart breaking for the young woman "Come on, I'm parked out front."

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They had driven about fifty yards from the diner when Faith gripped the door handle and began taking deep breaths.

"You okay?"

"Pull over, I'm gonna be sick!" Faith cried. Olivia quickly slowed the car and pulled over to the side of the road that housed a vacant lot. Faith sprang from the car the moment it stopped, running about 10 feet into the lot before she dropped down to the ground on all fours and began retching violently. Olivia got out of the car and ran over to her, kneeling down beside her to hold her hair back as she continued heaving.

She was saying something to Faith about going to the hospital when it happened, she never heard his footsteps as they softly approached and never got a chance to turn around before he whacked her hard on the back of the head, knocking her out cold and sending her limp body falling to the freezing ground.

"How the hell did you manage to throw up?" he asked as he knelt down and began securing Olivia's hands, legs and feet with duct tape.

"Ipecac" Faith grinned as she stood up and wiped her mouth with the back of her sleeve. She was disturbed at seeing him tie Olivia up; they hadn't discussed anything like that but she figured it was none of her business and said nothing

"Darlin, you are one dedicated girl" he mused, impressed at how well she'd performed "Even took two beatings like a pro!"

"Had to be convincing! You know how many tricks I'd have to turn for five large? Hell, I'd have let you actually rape me if you needed to!" she laughed but was quite serious.

"If only they had Oscars for whores…"

"Performance of my life" she gloated

"Truer words…" he'd placed the final piece of tape over Olivia's mouth and picked her up, carrying her to his vehicle a few yards away where he put her body in the trunk. He took her radio and badge, her phone, wallet, cuffs and gun into a bag and carried them back to the department SUV she'd driven and placed them on the front seat before turning off the engine, taking the keys out of the ignition and locking the doors then threw they keys far into the dark lot, all while Faith stood watching.

"Okay well, it's been real but I gotta go…unless you wanna sample what you paid for" she offered

"I'll pass"

"Whatever. Where's my money? …and that bonus we discussed? she asked while leaning back against Olivia's vehicle.

"Hold your horses darling, I got it right here" he said with a sly grin as he reached into his back pocket. But instead of the envelope full of cash that she was expecting she got a knife to the stomach, her mouth agape in shock as he stabbed her twice more with hard, quick thrusts before letting her drop to the ground beside the SUV.

"Dead whores tell no tales!" he mocked, smiling down at the dying girl with his perfect white teeth "Give El Diablo my regards!" he winked as he closed her eyes and released her final breath and the man turned and went back to his car, shut the trunk and drove away without a second thought just the rain started.

Inside the SUV, Olivia's phone rang for the final time before it went to voicemail…

"Liv it's me again. I got your text and I tried to be okay with it but I can't because…well I can't. I tried the whole 'us being apart' thing and I miss you a hell of a lot more than I realized, especially after…we need to talk, I'll stop by after work tomorrow. I love you."

With a pained sigh, Brian hung up the phone. He had no idea why it took almost losing Olivia again to make him realize what he had let go. She loved him but he hadn't been willing to give her the one thing he knew she wanted most in the world – to be a mom. He remembered a few months back when she thought she was pregnant and how when she found out that she actually wasn't, he practically jumped for joy. He hadn't realized how much he'd hurt her then and now he'd give anything to take it back and to have her take him back and he swore to himself there in his office that if she did he would do whatever she wanted to keep her happy - even give her the child she wants so desperately.

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><p>.<p>

A few hours later Olivia began to stir, pain quickly registering and she groaned, attempting to reach the throbbing that came from the back of her head but her arm couldn't move and she tried the other one only to be met with the same result.

"What…" she grumbled slowly opening her eyes to realize that she was in a very dimly lit bedroom that she didn't recognize. She tried to sit up but only managed to rise a few inches before she sank back down. It took her a few more seconds to realize that her arms and legs were secured to the large, plush bed on which she lay and that her clothes were gone, replaced by a sleeveless cotton nightgown. Panic immediately set in and she began pulling at her restraints while taking such deep and quick breaths, she could feel herself becoming lightheaded.

"No…no no no!" she cried as she squeezed her eyes shut. "This is a dream…it's just a dream. Do not panic, Olivia, you're only dreaming! Any second now, Lewis will walk through that door and you'll wake up" she tried to convince herself, now trembling in absolute terror as a deluge of tears tumbled down her face and her breathing became even more erratic.

"God, please, please, please" she prayed in a frantic whisper, suddenly feeling hopeful when the door creaked open and a man walked into the room, his footsteps heavy on the floor. She'd wake up any second now, safe in her own bed or wherever she'd fallen asleep but it would be okay.

"Afraid he can't hear you darling!" she heard a voice say but it wasn't the voice she was expecting and her heart began beating even faster. "I can see why he was so obsessed" the man said as he reached out and caressed Olivia's tear stained cheek and she recoiled from his touch. This was real.

"Who are you and why am I here?"

"Who am I?" he took a seat beside her on the bed, his face now in clear view, smiling that same toothy, creepy smile that she had become entirely too familiar with, only on a face that was 20 years older and cold fear gripped her. "That's right, where are my manners? Harland Lewis and as for why you're here, well, it's simple; you killed my Billy…my only son and I want him back!"

_Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?_

…_I think you miss the point. See, my daddy got up, pulled up his pants, put me in the car and took me to Dairy Queen…it was best day of my life!_

"How? He's…"

"See I'm glad you're asking questions…means you're payin attention" he responded as he let his hand trail up her leg but she was too frozen with fear to even move and instead locked her eyes on his hand crying uncontrollably while her body continued to shake and his hand rose higher, raising the gown she was wearing until he was between her thighs and cupped her there.

"Please…don't" she begged and was relieved when he took his hand away and stood up.

"That's right, you wanna know how I get my boy back. it's not rocket science" he said as he as he took off his shirt then began undoing his belt and pants. Olivia pulled at her restraints even harder; she'd escaped this fate twice, this could not happen.

"I'm gonna fuck you seven ways to Sunday until I put one in you and then after you squeeze him out of that pretty little pussy, I kill you! He said and climbed onto the bed, on top of her and pushed her gown up, settling himself between her thighs.

_This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening… _she told herself again and again even as she felt his hardness at her entrance.

"I don't want this, please!" she sobbed, realizing that there was no way out this time. Harland angrily slapped her across the face with the back of his hand and grabbed her by the throat.

"Rule one, what you want don't matter; now open up for Daddy!" before her next thought could register, he forced his entire length into her and began moving brutally, viciously while she screamed and begged for mercy but he only got rougher

"Let it out baby, that's just the way I like it…music to my ears!"

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><p>.<p>

**I… hell, I won't even try. But I will say that this is no way my fault and I'm just a slave to my ideas, I didn't choose this life, this life chose me and… okay, I'll stop. So it may be a while before chapter three, I have four other stories that need my attention at the moment but I promise that it won't be too long. By the time you all recover I'll be back. in the meantime, reviews would encourage me to get things done a lot faster. Good or bad, just please keep it respectful. Thanks for reading and please, no twitter discussions, spoils it for those who aren't caught up.**


	3. Her Reality

**Hadn't intended on updating this so soon but you guys have been vey vocal about wanting more, now and who am I to disappoint my readers? Thanks for the love you've shown this story even in considering its subject matter. It gets way wore before it gets better…if it gets better. (I plan for better but the story does its own thing so we'll see) Not much else to say so let's jump in.**

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**Reader comments – I seriously wish I could post them all. Thank all you so much!**

**Saradawn723****chapter 2 .****Oct 8**

**Why do you do this to me? First of all, I panicked...thought you were gonna make Brian the psycho. But then the phone call in the car and thank god. Secondly, I remember we were talking about Lewis's dad showin up and yeah I forgot. Ughhhhh second chapter and it already happened! I'm sick. Dammit. - **I wish I could say that this part offers medicine to cure the sick, but nah bruh!

**Bobbie23****chapter 2 . Oct 7**

**Woah! How the...I never saw that coming. I just...I'm speechless right now. Never saw that 'Daddy' coming. Type, type, type as fast as you can, because I'm waiting for the next part. - **I typed, typed, typed as fast as I could and it's here, lol.

**LoisAndClarkSuperfan****chapter 2 . Oct 6**

**Oh my gosh! What the heck? You're right...I did NOT know where this was going. I'm on the edge of my seat now. I need more...please be motivated to get chapter 3 up soon. :) Sucks being a slave to your ideas. **– you guys have absolutely motivated me and it's here!

**Michelleeades****chapter 2 . Oct 6**

**God that's gone somewhere I didn't expect. Brilliant storyline, left me feeling angry though and wanting revenge for Olivia, hope that mother fucker suffers a slow painful death. **– while I can't say exactly what happens to old Harlan, I can tell you this: not for quite a while.

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><p><strong>*Chapter contains rape and violence, proceed with caution.<strong>

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The sun was coming up when he finally rolled off her and Harlan stood buckling his pants while a devastated Olivia lay staring at the ceiling, tears streaming her face and her mind unable to wrap itself around what had just happened to her.

"I gotta tell ya darling, that was amazin! Nice and tight, able to take a poundin…a man would pay big money for snatch this good and I get it for free! Hell, maybe after I get that bun in your oven..."

Olivia continued staring up, trying her best to block him out and to tell herself that she would get out of this.

"Oh but don't you worry, I'm just gonna take a quick rest and I'll be right back to fill you up again, make sure we get a little Lewis in there as soon as possible" he grinned, seemingly impressed with himself as he stroked her cheek; she quickly turned her head away from his touch.

"You listen to me whore!" he spat as he angrily snatched her face back to face him "rule two: you don't EVER turn away from me! I touch you how I want, when I want you understand me?" he yelled. Olivia said nothing, just looked at him defiantly with pure hatred in her eyes, nostrils flaring as she fought the sob that threatened to choke her. Finally after a moment…

"I hope it's painful" she said as she looked him in the eye

"What's that darlin?"

"Your death when they find you!" there was ice in her voice as the words fell from her lips.

"Oh, you like to talk about death huh? Well let's do that!" he said and pinched her nose shut with his thumb and forefinger while clamping the rest of his palm over her mouth. "see the difference between me and you is you fear the reaper while I invite him to dance" he taunted as she struggled to breathe beneath him but he only pushed his hand tighter against her mouth while she thrashed beneath him desperate for air.

"Same thing I always told my boy…embrace death, once you do you have no fear. And when you ain't got fear in the way, that's when you really start livin…" he continued chatting away as if there weren't a suffocating woman beneath his hand and Olivia was desperate at this point, thrashing violently and pulling at her restraints. She was getting weaker, her vision was fading and she was lightheaded but Harlan just continued talking then just when everything had started to go black…

"Well ain't your face just the prettiest shade of blue?" he laughed before he removed his hand, leaving her gasping hard to take in the air her lungs craved. "You know on second thought, who needs rest when just watchin you get all feisty got me ready to go again!"

"No…" she begged. The pain between her legs already had her feeling as if she's literally been torn apart "Please, I can't

"Well, you're gunna" he undid his pants again and leaned over her, kissing her hard on the lips "My god that's a sweet mouth! I'll be sure to put it to use later" he said, his face still lingering over hers, so entranced by her beauty, he never saw the head-butt coming and within a split second he was screaming, cradling his broken nose as it gushed blood everywhere.

"You're even more stupid and delusional than your son was if you think-" she didn't finish before he was on her beating her mercilessly with a barrage of sharp blows to her face while screaming profanities as his blood dripped all over the nightgown she wore. She refused to give him the satisfaction of her screams this time and it made him angrier, fueling him to continue his assault until he grew tired and she was barely conscious, just lying there limp and unmoving

"Now we get to have real fun and I won't be so gentle this time!" he said menacingly and began tearing her gown away from her body then reached to undo her right arm and leg, freeing them from their restraints so that he could turn her over onto her stomach. She tried her best to fight him but in her weakened state she was no match for his strength and he soon had her face down, pinning her by the neck then forced himself inside her from behind while she squeezed her eyes shut and bit down on her split lip, trying to withstand this new assault on her already bruised insides.

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_Benson, leave a message_

"Hey Liv, it's Nick. What'd you? Sleep in this morning? Don't forget the chief's comin through, rise and shine sleepyhead." He ended the call and just as he was about to put the phone away, he got a nagging feeling and decided to try her landline. After several rings, the answering machine picked up.

_Hi it's Liv, sorry I missed you, wait for the beep._

"Hey it's Nick again, listen I'm just gonna swing by your place and pick you up…save time. Alright, be there soon." He tried to not let his worry show in his voice but still couldn't help feeling that something was wrong, Liv never slept in on a work day and it was with this in mind that he made one more call.

"Special Victims Unit, Detective Rollins speaking" Amanda answered

"Amanda, Liv in?"

"Uh no, not yet"

"Shit! Alright, I'm on my way to her place, if she comes in before I get there make sure she calls me before she does anything"

"Nick, you ok?" Amanda asked

"Yeah I'm good. Just…make sure she calls"

"You got it!" Amanda said before hanging up, her curiosity getting the better of her and she quickly lifted the receiver from her desk phone and dialed Olivia's cell, becoming more anxious with every ring and hanging up when it went to voicemail. "Now that's odd…" she thought as he dialed Olivia's landline and when that too went unanswered, she knew that there was more to Nick's call.

"Liv, it's Rollins and I'm a little worried, why aren't you pickin up? Give me a call" she said, sounded more anxious than she meant to and slammed the phone down on the cradle as Fin entered the squad room.

"Who did it?" he asked as he handed his partner coffee

"Did what? Thanks" she said before taking a long sip

"Made you mad enough to be slammin down phones this early in the morning…"

"It might be nothing but, we can't get hold of Liv"

"What do you mean you can't get hold of Liv?"

"I've called her apartment, her cell and apparently Nick's done the same and got nothing, Nick's on his way there now"

"I'm sure she's fine" Fin mumbled on his way to his desk, more hoping than believing.

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Harlan spilled himself inside of Olivia, growling as he came and gripping her hips so hard that his fingers left bruises where they dug into her flesh. For along moment he just lay there on top of her breathing heavily against her while planting kisses to the bare skin of her back. She lay beneath him relieved that it was finally over and prayed that he would leave her alone.

"So good…" he mused then without warning he pushed up inside her one last time, eliciting a loud and pained cry from her before he pulled out.

"So here's what I'm gonna do…" he began as he got up and began zipping his pants. "I got business to tend to so I'm gon be out for most of the day." He said as he undid her remaining restraints. She quickly turned on her side and curled her body into a fetal position, weeping silently and not even bothering to fight, just rocking herself, eyes blank as she disappeared somewhere in her mind

"and I'm gunna let you loose. Now don't go tryin to escape cuz there ain't no way outta this room and if by some miracle you did get out, I got four of the nastiest pits you'd ever wanna see out in the hall waitin to rip you to shreds, so I invite ya to try if ya feel lucky!" Olivia remained silent as he continued talking

"_You have to take care of yourself…and me!"_

_She remembered how happy they were that day, they'd finally moved into their new place together; a fresh start for both of them._

_She could still feel his lips as they pressed against her forehead, still feel hi arms as he enveloped her in them and held her tight, giving her a sense of security that she hadn't felt since…_

"_Elliot put his papers in"_

_She could still remember how her heart broke that day in Cragen's office upon finding out that Elliot had left. He was the person she depended on most in the world, the person she thought would always be there but then suddenly and without warning or goodbye, he was gone. But then, everybody left eventually right? Her mother left her, she was all she had in the world and suddenly she was gone. Then El had become all she had and he left too. Munch, Cragen, they all left and eventually Brian left too even though it had been a mutual decision but deep down she wished that he had fought harder for her, not been resigned to let them go so easily. _

"_Do they know that I'm gone yet?" she wondered "How long will it be before they fi-"_

"You listenin to me girl?" Harlan yelled, her hair gripped tight in his fist as he yanked her head back, quickly pulling her from her thoughts. She didn't respond, just coldly looked through him. "You got fire in your spirit girl…maybe my boy wasn't man enough to break you, but I am…and I will" he smiled that sickening smile just like his son's; the one that haunted her dreams every night and she suddenly felt sick.

"Rest up" He ordered, releasing his hold on her hair "You'll need it for when I get back!"

She lay there and listened s he opened and shut the bedroom door, the dogs barking anxiously in the hall as he put the locks in place, sealing her in and then continued listening as his footsteps carried him away. She was in far too much pain to even think about moving just yet and when she could no longer hear him, she held herself tighter as her tears broke and she cried in deep, piteous sobs that shook her entire body. forget about rescue, even if they found her how would she ever come back from this? How would she go on she wondered and wished that she would just die, right here.

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"Looks like the girl's been here for some time, no sight of Sergeant Benson but we found her phone, wallet…everything inside the vehicle" the detective from major case informed Murphy, who had just arrived to the crime scene at the vacant lot."We're waiting for the M.E. to get here.

"This girl came in to my squad room yesterday looking to report spousal rape. Faith…I didn't get her last name because Sergeant Benson was the one who talked with her"

"Any idea why Benson who be out here with her?" the detective asked.

"Oh my god, it's her!"The waitress from the diner cried as she approached the crime scene. She was just ending her overnight shift and saw the scene as she drove away from the diner.

"Ma'am, you cannot be here" Murphy said

"I know that girl!" she sobbed "She came into the diner last night after midnight, said her husband had beaten her and she ran away from him…she asked to use the phone and she called a lady cop who came to pick her up. Tall, dark, very pretty; they left together, I don't understand!"

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"I couldn't forget, she was pitiful and my heart broke for her!"

"Okay, we're gonna need to take a statement from you, my officers will take you down to the precinct." The detective informed her

"Of course" she didn't hesitate to comply and quickly turned to her husband who was still in the car "I'm gonna go with the officers" she informed him.

"Don't worry sir, she'll be escorted home as soon as we're done."

"So the husband maybe follows her, kills her in a rage but then where the hell is Benson?" Murphy wondered. "I want every available man on this, find her!" he ordered.

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**Chapter three...not sure when but as you guys can see, those reviews do help get things done faster so please tell me how I'm doing. See you guys next time. And please, no twitter spoilers, we can talk about it here. ;)**


	4. Holding on

**Don't know why this story is coming out so quickly but I won't fight it. Here we are, already with chapter four. This chapter isn't huge but it does what it's meant to do. Won't take up too much time, you all know the rhetoric, enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Reader comment<strong>

**SVUAddictTherapyNeeded****chapter 3.****Oct 16**

**D1, I can't with you. I just can't. This story is so heartbreaking and disturbing that I want to keep reading! I need chapter 4! "You fear the reaper, while I invite him to dance". This line was meant for this! So amazing!**

**Bobbie23****chapter 3. Oct 12**

**I'm reading through my fingers. Her inner monologue as Harlan is holding her to the bed adds to the desperation. I do like how Nick and Amanda picked up on the fact that she's missing quicker this time, hope they find her before more can happen. Really can't wait for the next bit!**

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><p><strong>.<strong>

"_I suggest you put it out of your mind, because you don't make it out of here alive!"_

She snapped out of her reverie and quickly reached from where she sat on the shower floor, her knees against her chest and turned off the now freezing water, watching as it, tinged with the last of the blood that flowed from between her legs, swirled down the drain. She had no idea how long she'd been there like that, having fallen into a daze after scrubbing herself raw but now, shivering from the cold, she pulled her aching body from the tub.

In the bedroom she found a fresh nightgown – white cotton, identical to the one that Harlan had torn off her, in the large basket that sat on the floor of the closet. In fact, she noticed that the basket held nothing BUT white cotton nightgowns and was filled with them – no undergarments or clothing of any other kind; just dozens of thin, white cotton nightgowns and as she pulled one on over her wet hair and let it fall over her bruised, naked body, she found her thoughts drifting again.

"_Did you ever see yourself growing old, with me?" _

"_I don't really see myself growing old…"_

Why did her mind keep going back there, to their breakup, torturing her with reminders that she was destined to end up just as her mother had; broken and alone.

"But you weren't completely… we had each other…" she whispered as fresh tears streamed her face and she just as quickly wiped them away, wincing at the pain that registered when she touched her battered face.

"No time for wallowing…" she told herself as she shook the thoughts away. After Harlan had left, she'd lain there, her face bleeding onto the pillow while her lower half bled all over the sheets. She'd cried until she couldn't before she forced herself out of that bed and crawled to the adjoining bathroom to clean herself up. She could tell just by the way it felt beneath her fingertips that he'd done serious damage to her face but with no mirror anywhere in the two rooms, she could only imagine how bad it was. but if the swelling to her mouth that cause her speech to slur was any indication…

"You have to find a way out of here!" she knew that if she would have any chance of escaping, she'd need a weapon and her eyes began scanning the room, first settling on the blood stains on the comforter, then the restraints and finally the torn nightgown and she could hear her own screams replaying in her head. they made her shudder.

_Let it out baby, that's just the way I like it…music to my ears!_

He'd left hours ago and she was still in an incredible amount of pain and couldn't imagine being put through more once he returned. Drawing in a sharp breath, she forced her attention away from the bed and refocused on finding something to hurt him with but looking around the room, she could see that he'd been smart in planning to bring her here; the room was scantly furnished. No curtain rod at the window, not towel bars or shower curtain rod in the bathroom. The full size bed with the solid oak head and footboards that she could see had each been carved from a single piece of wood – no bars or posts to dislodge.

"Pity. I'd love to bash your skull in even worse than I did your demon son!" she mused.

Yes, Harlan had taken caution; he'd learned from the news reports about how she'd gotten away from Billy after four days and he wouldn't make that mistake. Aside from the bed that served no purpose other than what he'd brought her here for, there was no other furniture in the room. The tiny closet near the door; she'd noticed that the bar had been removed and the built-in shelf was of no use, still she opened it again thinking she might have missed something. She reached up and ran her hand along its surface, hoping that she would find something hard or sharp enough to attack him with but there was nothing, just and old, thin wire hanger that she quickly tossed back onto the shelf and slammed the closet door in frustration. This agitated the dogs and they began barking furiously, causing her to yelp as she nearly jumped out of her skin; backing away from the door while trying to calm her rapidly beating heart and when she'd backed herself into a corner, she sank to the floor realizing the hopelessness of her situation, wrapping her bruised arms around her knees that were pulled tightly to her chest, her whole body shaking as she sobbed and the dogs continued barking viciously while scratching at the door, eager to get to who they considered to be the enemy on the other side.

"Someone has to find me!"

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"How the hell could I let her go out there alone last night?" Nick was sick inside as he began nervously checking his watch again – 2:45 and still nothing.

"Come on man, nobody _lets_ Liv do anything" Fin reminded him "Stop blamin yourself!" Once again, facing the unknown, Fin found himself being the voice of reason when he just wanted to lash out at any and everything; just destroy something…hurt someone…turn this whole fucking city upside down until they found her. How could this happen again? Why?

"Fin, tell me this is a mistake!"Brian cried as he rushed into the squad room. "Tell me it's wrong man, she can't be…" He stopped when his eyes caught sight of the squad room that had been transformed into a command center and he sank down into the nearest chair, his legs being of no use to him, having quickly given out as reminders of last spring flooded him and he felt just as helpless all over again.

"We'll find her" Fin promised, not even sure how or if he believed it himself this time.

"So you know who took her?" he asked, full of hope

"Not yet, but we have leads" Nick answered

"What? The dead girl?" Brian cried

"We have every reason to believe that her husband is behind this" Murphy informed him "but since the girl had no identification on her and all we have is a first name, we're waiting on a fingerprints and DNA to tell us who she is. The sooner we know, the sooner we find the husband."

"And what if she's not in the system, huh? Then what? Liv is out there with some asshole and we don't even have the faintest idea of who he is, or where he has her…or of she's even still alive." He couldn't hold back the tears in his voice.

"Cassidy…man we can't think that way" Fin said as he put a hand on the younger man's shoulder to comfort him.

"Fin he left his own wife to bleed to death in an abandoned lot, he's got nothing to stop him from hurting Liv even worse…if he's even the one who's got her! How the fuck did we let this happen again?"

The team stood silently looking at one another, all at a loss for words until Amanda pierced the silence.

"Guys, we got a hit on the prints!" she announced as she stared at the computer screen. "Faith Marie O'Brien, 24. She's from Las Vegas, Nevada, been in the city since 2012 – at least that's when she traded her Nevada license for a New York State one…and surprise, surprise; she's got a record! Arrested twice last year for solicitation."

"The dead girl's a hooker?" Fin asked incredulously "What the hell is goin on here?"

"I don't know but we got a current address!" Murphy said "Amaro, Tutuloa, suit up! You two are following me to the apartment, with any luck we'll find the husband and god willing, Benson. Rollins, I want you tracking down family, friends; anybody who can point us in this guy's direction in case he's not there."

"Copy Lieutenant!"

"I'm going with you" Brian announced to Murphy

"Detective…"

"Don't bother trying to talk me out of it, just get me a vest. We don't have any more time to waste!"

"Fine! But stay the hell outta the way!" he ordered then turned to his officers "Let's go!"

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><p><strong>See you guys soon with chapter 5! Review!<strong>


	5. No Fight Left

**Sorry for the wait, here's chapter five.**

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><p><strong>Reader comment<strong>

**Bobbie23****chapter 4 .****Oct 24**

**It gives me hope that Liv still has fight in her. And part of me hopes that if she opens the door the barking is just playing on a tape recorder. Love how Fin tries to be the voice of reason for everyone even though he's freaking out too. Looking forward to chapter five.**

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She had no idea how much time had passed but she'd fallen asleep there on the floor after her sobs had exhausted her. She still wasn't sure that she hadn't suffered a concussion, the pain in the back of her head still just as fresh as it has been when she'd first opened her eyes in this room before the sun had come up.

For a long moment she didn't move from the fetal position she'd curled herself into; she simply lay there quietly, barely breathing and absently listening to the sounds beneath her ear that was pressed against the floor while her eyes followed a small beetle across the room. She watched it intently as it crawled under the door and into the room, seemingly fascinated by it as it made its way across the floor. Her eyes stayed with it while it scurried beneath the bed, heading no place in particular, just going about its day.

"_All this time and you still never told me what happened to you"_

"_That's because you don't need those images in your head…"_

…such a stupid thing to fight about" she thought to herself. Thinking back, she wished that she had opened up about it, maybe it would have helped her deal. She wondered why she felt more comfortable talking to a virtual stranger about the horrors she'd suffered than she did the man she'd cared so deeply for; loved. Maybe it was because deep down she knew that they wouldn't last because nothing ever lasted. Sometimes love just wasn't enough… and she'd learned that lesson more times than she cared to remember. Slowly, she blinked her eyes and allowed them again to focus on the beetle under the bed.

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"I'm telling you, I haven't seen Faith in over a year!" The man yelled, tired of trying to convince the detectives of this. When they turned up nothing at Faith's apartment, Amanda did some further digging and found the young woman's marriage license from 2012 and petition for divorce that was filed just 14 months later. They quickly tracked Marco Acocella to the posh Manhattan nightclub he owned - he had been in the middle of getting the place ready for tonight's crowd when they hauled him in for questioning.

"Until you beat her and killed her last night!" Nick yelled

"What? No! I…Faith's dead?" he asked, seemingly hurt and surprised by the revelation

"Because you had no idea…" Fin scoffed before he got in the Young man's face and lowered his voice to near a whisper. "You listen to me, you already looking guilty for your ex wife's murder, you don't want to be charged with killing a cop on top of that. Now I get it, couples go through things…maybe it got out of hand, Benson intervened and you lost it."

"I…I didn't…"

"Maybe you had help but I believe you're smart enough to not hurt her; maybe you just wanted to scare her. Come on man, you tell us where Sergeant Benson is and I will personally talk to the DA; get you a real good deal. I can make them understand why you felt driven to do what you did"

'I don't know what you're talking about!" Marco insisted, tears filling his eyes. "I cared about Faith, I would never do anything to hurt her, I would never do anything to hurt anyone; search my record, you won't find so much as a traffic ticket…I'M NOT A CRIMINAL!" he sobbed

"Only when you rape and beat her right?"

"I never laid a hand on her, and I don't know anything about a cop! Why aren't you people listening to me and going after the real killer? Faith and I only got married because my visa expired!"

"Greencard marriage…" Nick said

"Yes! She agreed to do it and I paid her twenty five thousand dollars. We lived together for a year until I got my citizenship and after we divorced, I let her keep the apartment and I continued to pay her rent. I swear to you, I never hurt her and I haven't seen her since we divorced!" he was scared to death and in tears at this point.

"Marco, you're done talking!" Trevor Langan said as he walked into the room

"Langan!" Fin seethed

"Hello detective"

"I was just telling them that I'm inno.."

"NOT. Another word!" Trevor made clear to his client before turning his attention back to Nick and Fin "Is my client being charged with a crime?" he asked. Fin and Nick looked at one another before Nick answered reluctantly.

"No"

"Then we're done here! Marco, let's go!" He said and turned to leave but then stopped and looked at Fin. "I'm sorry to hear about Sergeant Benson, especially in light of everything she's been through recently, but come near my client again without sufficient evidence and I will slap the department with a harassment suit, are we clear?"

"Crystal"

"Good! By the way, here's the security footage from the club last night that proves Mr. Acocella was there, as usual from 9pm to 3am!" he slammed the disk down on the table and without another word, left with his client.

"Now what?" Nick asked

"He's not our guy" Murphy said as he entered the interrogation room "That kid was about to piss himself!"

"Doesn't make him innocent " Fin quipped as Amanda appeared in the doorway

"Guys, TARU found somethin…"

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><p>.<p>

She heard whispers in the room. _But that's impossible, no one came in so how can it be? _ She wondered as she opened her eyes again; still lying there on the cold wooden floor, still in that fetal position. She hadn't fallen asleep, just shut them to shutout the world.

"That's it sunshine, open up those big browns!" she heard a voice say…a woman's voice and she quickly looked up, infuriated at the name she had just been called.

"Do not EVER call me…" she stopped mid-sentence and froze, putting her head back down and choosing instead to close her eyes again and block out what she knew she could not actually be seeing. There were two of her – her own self, standing there looking down at her; Olivia from six years ago who wore that cute, short haircut she loved so much, standing there in that hideous orange Sealview jumpsuit. She was with Olivia from just last spring who was still in her burned and ripped black clothes, courtesy the maniac son of current maniac she'd fallen victim to.

_Great, now I'm hallucinating! _She thought to herself

"You're not hallucinating!" she heard one of the voices say and she shot up into a sitting position, her heart pounding.

"How can you hear my thoughts?!" she cried

"_Our _thoughts!" Last spring Olivia corrected.

"This is not happening!" current Olivia said as she cowered further into the corner.

"She thinks she's imagining us" Sealview Olivia said to last spring Olivia

"I got that" last spring Olivia noted before squatting down in front of current Olivia "You can't just lie here on the floor and wait for him to come back."

"There's no way out" current Olivia said hopelessly

"There's always a way out"

"Not this time" Current Olivia said

"Oh my God, are we giving up? We're giving up!" Sealview Olivia pointed out to last spring Olivia before turning to look down at current Olivia "You can't!"

"Unless you have a better idea"

"I do. We fight. As long as there is breath in our body, we fight!" Sealview Olivia

"I don't have any left"

"We're Benson, there's always something left" last spring Olivia said to her current self "Need we remind you how we've gotten ourselves out of certain predicaments in the past?"

"Please, just go away…I'm tired and I don't need to feel like I'm losing my mind right now, it's all I have left."

"Olivia…"

"I'm not listening" She said, tears streaming her cheeks as she shut her eyes and covered her ears, hanging her head between her knees. She stayed in that position for a moment before raising her head to see that her other selves were gone. More tears fell as she slowly lowered her hands from her ears and wrapped her arms around herself before dropping them completely to her sides and pulling herself up from the floor. Her legs were shaky from having been curled against her chest for so long and her steps were dawdling as she made her way back to the closet to retrieve the hanger.

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**See you guys next chapter. Reviews would make me very happy.**


	6. Fight or Flight

**Here's chapter six. Wow, two new chapters in less than 24 hours! I think I might step away for a while after this but who knows? Anywho, enjoy…not the subject matter, but the story.**

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><p><strong>Reader comment<strong>

**LucinaHeartsSVU****chapter 5 . 18h ago**

**You gave me life, with this, "We're Benson, there's always something left"**

**.**

**SilverDragonRanger09****chapter 5 .****16h ago**

**Very impressive work. I like writers who can master the short impactful chapters and you manage to do that. I also don't believe Olivia has lost all her fight she has more in her.**

**.**

**rebeccak2009****chapter 5 .****18h ago**

**love the soliloquy Liv had...put in more of Sealview Liv vs. 2013 Liv vs Present-day Liv scenes?**

**.**

**MHBaby****chapter 5 . 1h ago**

**Soo I just started reading this and I was like whoa there! I love it so far especially when Sealview Olivia and last spring Olivia showed up and told her to fight back! Type fast because I'm waiting on chapter 6!**

**.**

**Thank you guys for being so supportive of my story. I say this a lot but it truly does mean the world to me and I'm inspired by your comments and wish I could post them all.**

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><p><strong>***CHAPTER CONTAINS RAPE AND VIOLENCE***<strong>

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She sat there again in that corner, her fingers working diligently twisting the wire hanger into a weapon. She could tell from the suns position that it was late in the afternoon and she had no idea when he'd return so she had to work as fast as she could.

She'd straightened the curved head of it to use as a shiv and was now left with the task of fashioning the rest of it to become a handle, a job made harder by the fact that the wire was a lot less pliable than she thought it would be and her fingertips were now red and throbbing painfully but she continued to work it, determined that when the bastard returned, she'd give him a little surprise of her own!

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"So she answers an ad on craigslist…" Murphy starts as everyone is gathered at the conference table

"Two days before she shows up here and talks to Liv" Amanda continued. "Whoever was on the other end of that ad, she arranged to meet them at Union Square Park to discuss."

"The ad said "make $5000 easy" do we know if she ever collected the money?" He asked

"We did find a purse in her apartment with twenty five hundred dollars in it, the lab is running the bills for prints" Nick said.

"We need this guy" Fin said "Langan was telling the truth, Marco was at his club all night, it was actually closer to 4 am when her left. Whoever Faith met up with could have had her set Liv up"

"…And then killed Faith to keep her quiet" Murphy finished

"But why? And who? Lewis was the only person with a vendetta and he's dead! None of this shit makes any sense and in the meantime, we got the NYPD running around like idiots chasing false leads from idiots looking for a payday!" Brian's frustration was starting to get the better of him.

"Excuse me" a small, feminine voice called out from the doors of the squad room causing the detectives to turn their attention to the petite blonde who had entered.

"How can I help you?" Murphy asked

"I'm Cammi Winston, Faith was a friend of mine" she said and suddenly an air hope was breathed into the squad.

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><p>.<p>

After finishing with the hanger and being satisfied with the results, she put it under the pillow that hadn't managed to become stained with her blood, then began massaging her aching fingers trying to work out the stiffness as she paced the room, unable to help staring at the bloodstained comforter.

_I'm gonna fuck you seven ways to Sunday until I put one in you…_

Just thinking about it made her sick to her stomach. "You can't let that happen!" she told herself, she told herself as she angrily snatched the comforter from the bed, balling it in a heap and throwing it into the closet just as a horrible thought quickly set in. "What if it already did?" she closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath – it did nothing to help the panic that sent a chill through her.

_My mother made a choice, but if it were me, the morning after pill, no question!_

"Good luck with that now" she said, cursing the irony as she leant against the window and turned to look out although she couldn't actually see much through the thick glass bricks but the sun that filtered through was warm on her face and for the briefest moment she had hope that things could turn around but that moment was annihilated when she heard a door slam downstairs followed by the sounds of the dogs' barking and paws shuffling as they ran down the hall and down the stairs. Then after a moment another door slammed shut and she heard the dogs outside, guessing he had let them out a back door.

She was completely overcome with dread and began backing herself into a corner as she heard heavy footsteps ascending the staircase and her heart began pounding frantically against her ribcage while every nerve in her body went rogue and all the nerve she'd managed to build, all of the resolve quickly dissipated.

As the footsteps got closer, louder, she literally had to fight to still her body from the tremors that had overtaken it as she drew in shallow erratic breaths but it was of no use and she stood shaking uncontrollably as she wrung her hands nervously and her mind began spinning – she had nowhere to run. The door had been taken off the bathroom, leaving her no choice but to face whatever would happen once the bedroom door opened.

The locks began to turn and a painful knot formed in the pit of her stomach, twisting as her eyes filled with tears that she would not let him see and with trembling hands she quickly wiped them away just as the heavy door creaked open and she was suddenly staring into the face of her tormentor.

"Daddy's home!" he announced with a smile. A sob tore from her throat; absolute terror gripped her so hard that she didn't feel her bladder release or the warmth that ran down her shaking legs and collected in a puddle at her feet because in that moment she was conscious of only one thing – fear!

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"I can' believe she's dead!" Cammi cried softly as Nick handed her a tissue and Murphy took a seat in front of her in the interview room "Thank you" she said and dramatically dabbed at the tears in her eyes.

"Can I get you anything?" Nick offered

"No, no, you're very kind but…I'm okay" Nick looked over at Murphy while pulling up a chair and planting himself in it. "Cute too" she sniffled and smiled

"Thanks. Now, when was the last time you saw Faith?" Nick asked

"Um, three days ago…I had to go out of town for work, but I've talked to her every day"

"And when did you speak last?" Murphy asked.

"It was right before I went on stage…around eleven last night?"

"And did she mention going anywhere?"

"Just that she had to go and get the other half of her money"

"What money?" Nick asked

'Um…some guy she met on craigslist a couple days ago; she said he was gonna pay her five grand to help him out"

"Did she say with what?"

"Yeah, Faith and I didn't have secrets…" she said before recounting to Nick and Murphy everything she knew about the man who paid Faith to lure Olivia into his trap.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Harlan had walked across the room while Olivia's eyes stayed on him from her corner and he took a seat on the bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight.

"You just gon stand there shakin in your own piss?" as if his words were a revelation, Olivia looked down and was further humiliated to see that he was right as she fought to contain her tears.

"Get over here" he ordered she whimpered and shook her head no as she stepped away from the puddle but stayed close to the wall as if it offered some magical protection. "That wasn't an option darlin, now get your ass over here!" he demanded.

Before she could even think about it she made a dash for the door but her hand had barely touched the knob before he'd snaked his arm around her waist and lifted her off her feet with zero effort.

"Goin somewhere?" he asked as he threw her down onto the bed; she quickly scrambled to her feet and again tried to run but a hard backhanded slap sent her flying back onto the mattress and this time he pinned her there with his body on top of hers, his mouth licking and nipping at her skin while his hands roamed beneath her gown.

"No please don't…PLEASE!" she begged hysterically as she struggled beneath him, nauseated at the feel of his hands on her flesh. He paused long enough to grab her arms and pin them above her head, holding her wrists with one large hand while the other went back to groping her.

"Softest skin I ever touched!" he mused

""STOP…GET OFF ME! she screamed then cried out when he pushed three thick fingers inside her and began twisting them painfully.

"On second thought, I think I need tie you down for this, It's gonna real intense!" he grinned before he withdrew his fingers from her and pushed them into his mouth, sucking greedily while she continued to buck beneath him in an attempt to throw him off. He sat up, straddling her body and pulled one of her arms, trying to secure her wrist in the restraint. Her mind cleared and she suddenly remembered the shiv she'd made from the hanger and with her free hand she reached under the pillow frantically seeking it. After what felt like an eternity, her fingertips touched the cool metal and she pulled it fully into her palm, gripping it and didn't spare a second before she plunged it into his ear, forcing him to let go of her arm and begin howling in agony as blood poured out of his ear canal.

"You stupid bitch!" he yelled, pulling the wire from his ear. She froze for a fraction of a second before balling her fist and hitting him as hard as she could across the face, then again before she drew her legs from beneath him and kicked him hard in the chest with both feet, as she screamed, sending him flying backwards.

Without another thought she ran from the bed and out of the room with no clue where she was going as she sprinted down the long, dark hallway fueled by fear. She finally came to the rickety stairs and descended them so fast, she stumbled twice and almost went tumbling, her heart pounding so hard, her chest ached and she was sobbing by the time she reached the landing and kept running for the front door, frantically twisting at each of the five locks.

When she'd twisted the last one she pulled at the doorknob but it wouldn't and let out a cry of frustration , pulling at her hair then twisted the locks in the other direction while looking over her shoulder. She could hear his footsteps upstairs, he was coming; she had to get out!

"God please!" she cried in a whisper. She had no idea that only every other lock had actually been locked and that she was repeatedly locking herself in and her sobs only grew louder as his footsteps drew closer.

"HELP MEEEEE!" she began screaming over and over as she banged her fists against the door, praying that someone would hear and the dogs began barking from outside

"Game over Olivia!" she heard from a voice she knew too well and turned around to see William Lewis standing in from of her

"this isn't real, you're dead!" she sobbed, frozen in place and not believing her eyes

"Am I sweetheart? Maybe to the rest of the world…but I'll always be with you!" he said calmly with his wicked smile as he approached her and she backed away as he reached to touch her, unaware that she was backing up to the staircase, being so distracted with this apparition that she no longer noticed his father's footsteps and she backed right into him. his chest was like a brick wall when her back hit it and she slowly turned around and opened her mouth to scream when she saw him standing there but it was too late, his hands were already around her throat squeezing.

"That was the goddamn dumbest thing you coulda done whore!" he said with fury in his eyes as he lifted her, by the neck into the air. She scratched and clawed at his arms but it was no use and before she knew it, he had literally thrown her across the room and she hit her temple on the side of a table, pain exploding in her head as she tried to get up but she fell to the floor before she was even halfway up. she touched her fingers to her temple and drew them back to see them covered with the blood that was now running down the side of her face and just as everything began to go black, she saw Harlan reaching for her.

"Rule three: Don't ever make Daddy angry!" he said just before she passed out. He didn't bat an eyelash, just picked her up and carried her limp body back upstairs to the bedroom that was her prison, throwing her onto the bed when he got there.

"When this is all over, I'm gonna enjoy watching you take your last breath you stupid cunt!' he seethed as he undid his pants and took his penis in his hand, stroking it to a hard on while squeezing her breast beneath her gown; admiring his son's work -the many scars that remained from her ordeal with him.

"Damn shame, cuz you are a beauty!" he said to her unconscious self. "Now let's see what we can do about bringing my boy back!"

And suddenly, the house was filled with the sounds of the bed squeaking as Harlan took her with punishing thrusts, slamming into her body with brute force again and again and he had no intention of letting up anytime soon; further aroused by thoughts of what he'd do to her once she was awake.

"You'll be sorry darlin!"

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><p>.<p>

**I'm innocent!**


	7. Dead End

**Not much I can say here; this is chapter seven and well, let's just get to it. Dick Wolf owns the SVU characters, I own mine. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Reader comments <strong>

**Saradawn723****chapter 6 . Oct 30**

**I. Don't. Know. What. To. Say. I'm. Not. Ok. **– you'll be even less okay with this chapter…sorry!

**SVUAddictTherapyNeeded****chapter 6 .****Oct 28**

**Dee, I'm actually broken from this. She was so close to an escape. Tears are falling down my face right now. And that line "now let's see what we can do about bringing my boy back". This sick fuck needs to go! Yesterday! I'm speechless on this update. It's so scary, but it's intense and I want more! I need Olivia safe! Please let her be safe. **– at this time, I can neither confirm or deny the safety of Benson…sorry!

**LoisAndClarkSuperfan****chapter 6 . Oct 28**

**Oh wow...this was horrible (not the writing...just the content.) I'm so sick and sad thinking of Olivia going through all of this, and for a brief second I thought she would escape, and then of course she couldn't. Just tragic.I'm impressed that you updated so quickly. I understand you wanting to step away for awhile, but I hope the story gnaws at you enough that you can't stand it and just update it anyway. ;) **– it did, I couldn't and I did…sorry!

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><p><strong>***Chapter contains rape and violence***<strong>

"Cammi please, think. Is there anything, any tiny detail that you can tell us, maybe something you forgot or didn't think was important" Murphy implored

"No, I gave you guys everything I remember and we've been going over these same details for over an hour! I wish I could help more but I really need to go. I have a show tonight and I need to prepare" she informed them as she got up and began gathering her things

"Cammi, wait; sweetie, listen alright?" Nick said, looking at her with sad eyes "Look I know you have things you have to do, but honey you're our only lead right now and we have to find this man before it's too late. Please anything you can remember." He begged

"I wish I could, I just…"

"Anything…please! Did she maybe tell someone else about him? Another friend…a boyfriend?"

"She didn't have a boyfriend. What boyfriend would allow their girl to get the hell beaten out of her by a stranger for money?" Nick and Murphy looked at each other feeling more hopeless with each passing second.

"OMG, that's it, the boyfriend!" she exclaimed

"Whose boyfriend? Murphy asked

"That Benson…the cop, she…the guy who paid Faith, he's her boyfriend!"

"What?!' Nick asked, not believing his own ears

"Well ex-boyfriend; Faith said he told her that they'd broken up recently and that she'd been avoiding him and he wanted her help to get her to talk to him. That's all I have. I'm sorry."

"You did good Cammi."

"That son of a bitch!" Nick cried as he flung open the door to the interview room and made his way out into the squad room "Where the hell is he?" he yelled

"Who?" Amanda asked

"Cassidy. Where is he?"

"Amaro, what's goin on?" Fin asked as he approached Nick

"He did this, Fin, he took her!"

"Holy shit! The girl give us a lead?" Brian asked, reentering the squad room after a bathroom break.

"You son of a bitch!" Nick yelled as he lunged at Brian and pinned him to the wall

"Hey man, what the hell?!"

"Where is she?!" Nick demanded, livid beyond the point of rationality

"Where's…LIV? You think I took Liv?"

"Amaro!" Fin called, his tone a warning but Nick was too far gone to hear it or care

"It all makes sense, all of the calls TARU found to her cell from you…you been stalking her for the past week _"I'm sorry…I took advantage…I guess that's why you won't talk to me" _WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER?"

"NOTHING!" Brian yelled as he pushed Nick away from him

"Oh yeah, tell them what you just told us" Nick said to Cammi who had just reentered the squad room with Murphy on her way out. Cammi looked nervously at Murphy as if she was unsure if she should until he gave her a slight nod letting her know it was okay.

"The guy Faith met up with from craigslist, he said he was her boyfriend that they'd broken up and she had been avoiding him…he was using Faith to get to her…can I go now?"

"Yeah, and thank you. we'll be in touch." Murphy said. Cammi nodded.

"I hope it helped and you find her safe…I wish Faith… Goodnight officers."

"You are out of your goddamn mind Amaro!" Brian yelled

"You're the only ex-boyfriend I see" Nick sneered "So where'd you stash her huh?"

"Tell me something genius, when exactly would I have had the time to do this, huh?" Brian asked "My lunch break?"

"Alright, I get it!"

"Cuz I totally have time to post ads online, meet with and stab a hooker and kidnap Liv all while Tucker's been glued to my ass for the past two weeks? You're a moron Amaro!"

"Under the circumstances you can see why it was so easy to jump to the wrong conclusion" Nick said apologetically

"Maybe, but you guys know that I would never hurt Liv, I love her"

"We know man" Fin assured him. "Everybody is on edge and nobody is thinking clearly."

"Whoever is behind this planned it carefully to throw us off track at every turn." Murphy said

"And it's working" Amanda added "No prints on the knife, the money wasn't fresh so there are too many prints on it to single anyone out; he posted the craigslist ad from an internet café…this guy knows what he's doin and something tells me that this ain't his first time at the rodeo!"

"And with us out of leads, this is gonna end up goin cold real fast!" Murphy sighed "Where the hell are you Benson?"

"And with who?" Fin asked

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She regained consciousness to see that night had set in again and the room was once again bathed in candlelight. It took her a moment to focus with the pain in her head that was causing her vision to blur terribly. She was horrified to see Harlan sitting beside her on the bed, his hand between her legs and she immediately began trying to fight him but quickly realized that she was restrained to the bed and she fought every urge to scream.

"There she is…such a wildcat!" he grinned as he continued to rub her; she squeezed her eyes shut trying to mentally escape the hell she was in but with his hands on her and touching her so intimately and every inch of her body screaming in pain it was hard to dissociate. She knew by how terribly she ached that he'd been inside her again. And with how badly her head hurt coupled with nausea; there was no doubt in her mind this time that she'd suffered a concussion.

She squirmed, trying to get away from his hand but it was no use. These were hospital grade restraints and he'd secured them too tight. She fought the tears that welled in her eyes; she could feel her body responding to his touch. His thumb was gentle on her clitoris; as gentle as his fingertips were on her nipples, it was almost as if he were trying…

"Don't!" she begged when his mouth dipped to her breast "please" but he ignored her pleas as his lips wrapped around her already hardened nipple and began to lick and suck as his fingers increased the motion and pressure between her legs.

"Go on and want it baby, you know it feels good!" he grinned, moments later before pulling her other nipple into his mouth. She tried her hardest to will her body to fight the sensations that were overtaking her.

"God please!" she cried through hitched breath

"That's it, come for Daddy" he cooed. She bit her lips as she pulled against her restraints, whimpering as she felt her climax coming and she wanted to die when it hit, digging her nails into her palms and breaking into sobs as it tore though her body. She'd never felt so much shame in her life.

"Did you like that?"he asked softly while stroking her hair away from her face but she couldn't stop her sobs. In her mind, her body had just committed the ultimate betrayal and right now it didn't matter that she was a sergeant of a sex crimes unit, It didn't matter that she knew and had explained to countless victims that orgasm is a purely physical response; all that mattered right now was that she felt filthy and absolutely disgusted with herself.

"…thought I'd let you have a little pleasure before I inflict the pain" he said as he picked up something from the floor before standing up and quickly went about the task of setting up a tripod and camera that he pointed directly at the bed as she watched in horror. He then got behind it to make sure that the focus was perfect then switched on the light and began recording before he made his way back to the bed and sat down.

"See, you and me, we gon' have us a little fun makin a movie!"

"No…"

_WHACK!_

The back of his hand struck her face hard, causing her head to whip to the side

"You don't say no!" he warned her before reaching for her gown and ripping it away from her body as her cries became even more hysterical and she struggled harder against her restraints. She knew what this meant.

"Please, anything but that, I can't…please no more!" she sobbed

"Now now, don't go gettin ahead of yerself. See before I fuck you, I need to learn you a lesson about obedience." he pulled the makeshift shiv from his back pocket that she'd made from the wire hanger and had stabbed him with. "I'm gonna give you a lil taste of your own medicine since you went against my wishes and tried to hurt me in the process. I'm gonna show you how pain is done! See from now on, every time you try to run, I'm gonna reopen one of those beautiful scars my boy gave you!" he said as he grabbed her arm.

"No don't, I…"

"Shhhh…won't hurt but a lot darlin!" he grinned sadistically and dug the point of the shiv into her forearm.

"Please…please I'm sorry I won't run again PLEASE!" she begged desperately as she felt it piercing her flesh but Harlan paid no attention and continued to drag it along the length of the four inch scar, slowly, deliberately tearing her flesh open while she screamed hysterically, unable to even breathe from the severity of the pain

By the time he finally finished, her body was practically going into shock and couldn't stop trembling. He stood smiling at the sight of her blood dripping from her reopened wound; marveling at his handiwork.

"Next time, I hit bone!" he promised in the most menacing tone he could muster. "You understand me gal?" but she said nothing, only looked through him."Fine, why don't I open up another one and see if that'll get ya talkin"

"No please…I understand" she sobbed "I won't…I, I w-won't…"

"Good! Now I'm ready to fuck!" her heart dropped and she turned her head away, again squeezing her eyes shut as he listened to the sound of his belt buckle coming undone, then his zipper sliding down and finally, denim rustling as he pushed his pants down his legs.

"noooo please" she cried in a whisper, knowing that it was futile and tried to brace herself as he climbed on top of her.

She endured him until he grew tired, coming inside her a final time before getting up and redressing himself then standing over her and smiling down.

"You must be exhausted darlin. Tell you what" he said then planted a kiss to her shoulder "I'm gonna untie you and let you get some sleep but first, we need to clean that cut, wouldn't want it infected…" He picked up his half-drunken bottle of Jack from the floor and raised it over her arm as she looked at him with frightened, pleading eyes, fully aware of what he was about to do but knowing that there was nothing she could do to stop it and when the alcohol hit the open wound the pain was so great, so terrible that it could only be rivaled by the scream that tore from her throat just before her mind gave up trying to endure it and finally allowed her the escape she craved, blacking out into a deep, dreamless sleep.

... ... .. ... ... .. ... ... ...

**Three weeks later…**

She'd woken up in the middle of the night feeling terribly sick and found herself with her head in the toilet heaving violently as her stomach contents gushed forth. She'd thrown up three times before she dragged herself back to bed, feeling somewhat better but at the crack of dawn she felt even worse and the vomiting was more severe and her mind began racing, this wasn't like when she thought she might have been a couple months ago based on nothing more than a late period; this time, along with the late period, her breasts were sore, she was tired all the time and now the vomiting. She didn't need a test to confirm what she already knew but was in denial about…

"you're not!" she insisted, curled up on the bathroom floor. Her body went rigid when she heard the bedroom door creak open and his footsteps carry him inside but she quickly pulled herself to her feet and shuffled into the bedroom. He'd become angry if she made him wait and she didn't want what would come with his anger as the nasty still-healing scar on her arm reminded her.

"Breakfast" he said and tossed the bag onto the bed. Just the smell of the greasy meal sent her stomach churning

"I'm not hungry" she said, barely audibly.

"What's that?"

"please, I…I don't feel well" she said in that same quiet voice.

"Tough shit, now eat!"

She'd taken a tiny bite from the breakfast sandwich and gagged, dropping it onto the bed and sprinting for the bathroom where she threw up again.

"Well I'll be damned, I think I accomplished my mission!" he grinned from where he stood at the bathroom door and as bad as it had been these last three weeks, Olivia knew that this was only the beginning of her nightmare.

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><p>.<p>

**There it is...sorry! Please no twitter spoilers.**


	8. Positive

**Thanks to those of you who are still with me, I know this is a rough ride but light is coming; I have no earthly clue when, but I have plans. So I think I'm gonna end this story at chapter ten, and you all are more than welcome to give feedback on that issue but that's what I'm feeling right now. Not much else to say. Enjoy!**

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><p><span><strong>Reader comments<strong>

**Again, I wish that i could post every single one. Thanks so much!**

**FayeVDM chapter 7 . Nov 7**

**OMG, you definitely made "daddy" a lot worse than Lewis. This guy is the stuff of NIGHTMARES! - **this is like the hugest compliment in a disturbingly evil way. Thank you!

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**LucinaHeartsSVU chapter 7 . Nov 7**

**You evil genius! I love and hate it, love for the writing and for the heart wrenching but awesome storyline, and hate for the obvious reason of Liv going through so much. Keep it up, you're great. You make me wanna post some of my stories. Lol thank you.** - No, thank YOU!

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**Saradawn723 chapter 7 . 21h ago**

**I hate you. - **(Richard from 911 voice) No you doooon't.

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**SilverDragonRanger09 chapter 7 . Nov 7**

**OMG this kicked me in the chest I'm so following you on twitter peace love SDR out** - thanks, I'm happy2bedee

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><p><strong>***CHAPTER CONTAINS RAPE AND VIOLENCE***<strong>

"Our last lead died three weeks ago, if we don't get a trail soon…" Murphy began but was quickly cut off.

"Don't say it!" Fin grumbled "1PP will not give up on this…not yet. It would be a bad look for the whole department" what he really meant was that it would kill him if they let this go so easily. His oldest friend is the world, aside from Munch was out there and they couldn't give up until they found her. He wouldn't.

"We'll then, let's thank the gods for the department being the publicity whores that they are because right now fear of backlash is the only thing keeping this investigation going."

"Come on, I mean after everything Liv has been to the NYPD…" Nick interjected

"And at the end of the day, the bottom line is this: the department is pouring a shitload of money and manpower into an investigation without a single lead; no clue where to look or who to look at, we don't even know if she's still in our jurisdiction…or even alive"

"That woman survived the devil himself, twice." Amanda reminded him "She's alive, and I'd bet my last breath on it!"

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"Don't move!" Harlan ordered as he turned and walked away from the bathroom, disappearing from the bedroom altogether. She'd fully expected to be beaten for throwing up her breakfast but instead he calmly walked away; those where the moments that messed with her head the most, having learned over these last three weeks that whenever he'd take a calm approach to anything, it meant that something terrible would be in store for her when he'd return which was why she was shocked when he came back moments later and held out a pregnancy test to her, demanding that she take it right that second and further humiliating her by standing there, watching as she peed on the stick, then snatching the test away the moment she was done. Waiting and then grinning proudly when it showed a positive result.

"Hmm, would ya look at that!" he exclaimed as he held it up for her to see "Mission accomplished!" she didn't allow a response because she just knew in my heart that fate wouldn't so cruel…even in spite of knowing that yes, it was EXACTLY that cruel but there was no way she was carrying this monsters child inside her; her mind refused to accept or acknowledge it

"_This is the last thing you're gonna think about…the last thing you're gonna see…"_

She just stared blankly, wishing for the hundredth time that she had been the one to die in that granary, that instead of taking himself out, Lewis had pointed that gun at her head and given her the bullet that was rightfully hers!

She was snapped back to the present by the pain of Harlan yanking a fist full of her hair as he pushed her to her knees on the bathroom floor.

"I think my baby maker deserves some proper affection don't you?"

And there it was, the panic setting in all over again as she watched him free himself from his pants.

"No" she refused quietly but with absolute resolve, feeling some of her fight returning all of a sudden. He slapped her so hard that she literally saw stars as she fell over and hit the floor.

"What's that now?" he asked as she pulled herself to her feet

"I said n…" he hit her harder this time, knocking her into a wall.

"You don't wanna play this game darlin!" he said smugly as he approached her. She staggered to her feet again and wiped the blood from her mouth with the back of her hand as dizziness set in causing her to lose her balance and stumble to the floor.

"You can beat me until you kill me but I swear to you if you put that thing near my mouth, I will castrate you with my teeth you sick fuck!"

He looked down at her, his grin saying that he was amused by her valiant display but the look he saw in her eyes send the smallest sliver of fear through him – her eyes were cold, the eyes of someone who had nothing to lose and he knew that she meant business!

Of course he wouldn't let her see his intimidation and the fact that he felt it at all built an apoplectic rage inside him unlike any he'd ever experienced and he completely lost it.

"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" he yelled as he kicked her hard in the stomach, too far gone to remember the baby he'd been so thrilled about just moments ago. "JUST WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" He continued his verbal tirade as he delivered several more stomps and kicks to her body before snatching her up by her neck and slamming her back against the wall, pinning her there.

"Not so bold now are ya slut?"he laughed "But then, you ain't so bold when I'm fuckin you either; crying like a goddamn baby _"no..stop…please…you're hurting me!" _ You whores are all the same but I ain't fooled cuz see I know that you love it!"

He was so busy berating her that he didn't notice that she'd pulled her knees up between them until she delivered a crushing blow to his chest with both feet, knocking the wind out of him. He loosened his grip on her neck and she took full advantage, raising her leg to kick him again, this time in the gut and when he doubled over, she grabbed his hair with both hands and slammed her knee into his face with such force that it sent his body limp as she released his hair and dropped him to the floor then quickly turned and ran of the bathroom and straight for the door. She knew that the dogs were out back, all she had to do was lock him inside and she'd be fr…

"No…" her hopes quickly dashed and dread returned when she got to the bedroom door and realized that he had locked it from the inside, desperate, she threw her body against it, only to end up hurting her shoulder. The door was solid and wouldn't budge but still she tried frantically to break it down but soon stopped cold, her heart sinking to her stomach when she heard his footsteps staggering across the room. She turned around, her back to the door an she clamped her hand over her mouth to suppress the sickness that threatened to escape as she felt her stomach churning.

"Goin somewhere darlin?" he asked as he came closer. When he was within arm's length she decided to make a run for it but he quickly grabbed her around the waist and carried her, kicking and screaming across the room where he threw her onto the bed. She quickly got up but a slap across her face sent her flying back down onto it and he again grabbed her by the neck to keep her there.

"So we got an attack, another escape attempt AND you refusing to service me on what should have been a joyous day but you went and ruined it!" She responded by spitting in his face to which he laughed before dragging his sleeve across his face to clean it away then put his hand to her stomach all as she continued to struggle beneath him

"Okay boy listen up cuz Daddy's gon' give you your first lesson in handlin a bitch.

"I AM NOT HAVING YOUR BABY YOU PSYCHO!" she screamed, clawing at his hand around her throat

first, you gotta fuck the fight out of em, then you beat em till their will is gone. Now with a useless whore like yer mother here, bloodshed is gon' be necessary but we'll get to that after. Right now it's time to get the fight out of her…and she is a wild one!" he grinned before flipping her over, finding it a struggle with her still fighting him "I think I'm in the mood to try somethin new this mornin!"

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Later that morning after Harlan had left to go about his day, Olivia repeated her ritual of scrubbing him off her then having a long cry in the shower and she now lay on the bedroom floor, a blood-soaked, makeshift bandage wrapped around her upper arm . After brutally sodomizing her, he used his belt buckle to tear open the scar that Lewis had given her from a steak knife from her kitchen that first night.

None of this made sense to her. It had been three weeks, why hadn't anyone come for her? she knew beyond a doubt that they had to be searching; the very minute that Nick got no answer the next morning, she knew that that he'd absolutely get the NYPD involved and they had to have found the SUV. They'd track it as soon as they saw that it hadn't been signed in. Her team, Major case, the police were on this, so why had no one found her yet?

"Twenty one days…" she whispered to herself as her tears dropped. "Almost a month" she couldn't wrap her head around it; three weeks with a maniac – there was no other word to describe him, three weeks of being beaten and raped…she didn't even know how many times, she'd stopped counting after 17…that was two weeks ago…and those were just the assaults he'd committed with his body; she hadn't kept track of the objects.

For the entire week that followed her first attempt to escape he punished her with horrible things; acts so depraved she couldn't…and he'd recorded it. the rapes, the beatings, the punishments… he'd been recording pretty much everything all this time and there didn't seem to be an end in sight. He hadn't bothered to move her since they'd been here and didn't seem worried about being found which led her to wonder if perhaps they'd left New York City that night and he'd taken her to another state, it was the only thing that made sense as to why they hadn't located her.

_I'm so tired… _she thought to herself.

'Pregnancy tends to have that effect" she heard a voice say from across the room and lifted her head just enough to see…

"Oh Christ, I meant emotionally!" she declared, rolling her eyes and outing her head back down on the floor. "Go away! I'm in too much pain to deal with the crazy"

"Preaching to the choir, sister! So a baby huh?" Last spring Olivia asked as she lay restrained to the bed

"I am not pregnant!" Current Olivia snapped at her most recent past self from where she lay curled in the corner.

"The test says we are"

"The test is wrong and would you stop with this "we" nonsense? You're just a figment of my imagination!"

"Well if that's the case, could you have _your_ imagination ease up on our symptoms? The nausea's a bitch but our nipples feel like Billy blowtorched them!"

"Stop talking to me!" current Olivia demanded as she slowly stood up, wincing with every movement and began pacing the room

"We still in denial?" Sealview Olivia asked from behind current Olivia, startling her.

"DO NOT SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!"

"Sorry... But you know, the pregnancy boobs _are_ a real pain. How about asking el padre loco to supply some ice the next time he shows up to rape us? It's the least he could do!"

"I'm losing my mind…"

"_Our_ mind and we are not ready to surrender it yet!" Spring Olivia said. "You're giving up again and we can't let you do that"

"There's no point in fighting" currently Olivia said dully

"Oh Jesus!" Last spring Olivia exclaimed from where she lay tied to the bed, rolling her eyes.

"Tell me about it!" Sealview Olivia agreed as she took a seat on the bed "If mother heard us thinking this way she'd club us over the head with a vodka bottle"

"Yeah? I bet it'd be a lot less painful that having my arm ripped open WITH A FUCKING belt buckle!"

"Oh come on Liv!" Last spring Olivia cried as she sat up in bed, suddenly free from her restraints "we've endured way worse than that, or are you forgetting how junior cooked and carved us up like goddamn turkey for the better part of four days?"

"Turkey…mmm, now the baby's hungry!" Sealview Olivia said as she rubbed he stomach through her orange prison uniform.

"I am not…"

"Pregnant" the two past Olivia's said in unison.

"You know, we can't stay in denial about it forever" Sealview Olivia said softly

"I'm not in denial…"Current Olivia turned away so that her other selves wouldn't see her tear.

"It's okay" Last spring Olivia assured her as she put a hand on current Olivia's shoulder "We feel it too."

"Why are you both here again? I told you before to leave me alone."

"We can't do that. We need to keep reminding you"

"Reminding me of what?"

"Our strength. Our tenacity…" said Sealview "We have to hold on!"

"For what? I'm never getting out of here…I don't even know where _here _is!"

"Inconsequential!" Last spring said dismissively "What's important is that we get out of this house, away from daddy dearest"

"How?"

"We'll figure it out but if we're too in denial to even deal with what's happening…" Sealview said. "Once we get out of here, we'll take as long a break from reality as you want. I'm talking complete nervous breakdown and we'll support it but while we're in this situation we CANNOT let him break us."

Olivia sank her head into her hands and sighed deeply before looking to respond but just fast, both Olivias had disappeared and she was again alone in the room. She put her hands to her stomach when she felt the nausea raging and she slowly limped her way across the room, each step sending tremendous pain shooting through her lower extremities. She needed to lie down. The dizziness was back and in addition to the nausea, her stomach hurt. She crawled into bed and pulled the covers up around herself. Her eyes were heavy with exhaustion and still full of tears that couldn't seem to stop. her eyes blinked, sending a deluge of them falling onto the pillow and as she closed them, giving in to merciful sleep she allowed a small but earnest prayer to tumble from her lips.

_God please… let him kill me._

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**I tried to keep it light, but the story…she don't listen! Please no twitter spoilers.**


	9. Thread

**I really wanted to wrap this up in ten because it's such a difficult story to write but I'm kidding myself because there is no way that I possibly can, there is so much more to tell. So here is that light chapter that I thought chapter eight would be but thankfully this time it actually happened. Thank you all for the reviews. I don't feel like such a freak for writing this story knowing that people actually enjoy reading it so thanks again. Dick wolf owns his, I own mine. Enjoy.**

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><p><strong>Reader comments<strong>

**FayeVDM****chapter 8 .****Nov 9**

**Light? Seriously? LOL. Another amazing chapter. I really like the Sealview and Spring Olivias pep talk conversations with present Olivia. It is a really interesting take on talking to one's self :)**

**.**

**LoisAndClarkSuperfan****chapter 8 .****Nov 9**

**You tried to keep it light? LOL**

**Okay, seriously...this is the sickest, most depraved thing I have ever read...and yet I can't turn away from it. Damn! I want Olivia to get free somehow and I just don't know how it's even possible. I'm glad she has her subconscious to remind her of where she's been and of her strength, because if she didn't she'd have given up long ago...even though I don't think she has much fight left in her now. :(**

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As she slept he sat dutifully by her bedside waiting, praying for her to open her eyes. The doctor said that there was no medical reason why she'd been unconscious for two days but that sometimes after experiencing events as traumatic as what she'd been through, the mind would have its way of protecting us from things that we weren't ready to deal with and for Olivia, it had all been too much which was why the moment the police broke down those doors to rescue her, the very moment she'd stepped outside of that house for the first time in a month; she fainted.

Now two days after she'd been found, two days of rejoicing, shock and tears from the people who loved her, who had spent the last month doing everything they could to find her she opened her eyes to see him sitting beside her bed, his face full of worry but the moment he'd noticed that her eyes had opened, his immediately filled with light.

"Hey"

"Hey" her eyes quickly filled with tears, she still couldn't believe that her nightmare was finally over.

"I'm gonna get the doc…"

"No!" she strongly objected as tears streamed her face "I can't…I can't be alone I just…are you really here?" she asked fearfully, afraid to believe it.

"I'm here babe" he smiled through his own tears "everybody's here… oh god, can I touch you?" he wept.

"Please!" she begged, still not believing that this was real but craving to feel a gentle, familiar touch and when he pulled her into his arms, close against his body…when she touched his skin, felt his warmth and took in his scent, she knew that he was real and she came completely undone crying in choking sobs as she clung to him desperately.

"I'm here." he cried

"Don't let me go! Please, don't let me go…don't let me go!" it fell from her lips again and again almost like a prayer as she squeezed him tighter.

"Never again; do you hear me? You are exactly where you belong and I will never let you go again!" he swore.

"Brian…" she cried.

"Shhhhh…I got you" he soothed as he planted kisses to her head. she could feel his strong hands on her back and she finally let out the breath she had been holding, relieved until his hands left her back and began to roam her body, caressing her hips

"What are you doing?" she was beginning to panic as his hands left her hips and roughly grabbed her ass with both hands, squeezing hard

"Don't act like you don't want it bitch!" he said sweetly as he forced her tighter against him but the voice was all wrong

"Please don't!"

"Whore sure loves to beg!" he laughed as she pushed him away to see that Brian was gone and Harlan was now in his place "Don't worry baby, I'm gonna give it to you so good!" he grinned. She opened her mouth to scream for help but he quickly camped his hand over her mouth and forced her back, reaching for her hospital gown when suddenly she woke up, bolting upright and screaming in the dark as she thrashed so wildly in her sheets, she became entangled in them.

"Liv…Liv it's okay, I got you!" Brian called to her as he turned on the light and Nick and Fin ran into her hospital room. Her screams had nearly frightened them all into a heart attack.

"She okay?" Fin asked upon seeing Olivia's terrified state

"He-he was here!" she sobbed, nearly hyperventilating as she threw herself into Brian's arms "He was…"

"it's okay, he can't hurt you" Brian promised

"He was you and he was here; he…"

"Liv you're safe, just breathe…" Nick instructed "he can't get to you, you're safe now" but his assurance didn't register; none of their words did as she broke down, unable to stop the trembling that overtook her body.

"Amaro, get the doctor" Fin ordered but Olivia was having none of it

"No! Please, they'll just give me more sedatives… every time I close my eyes…no sedatives…please!"

"It's okay. No sedatives" Brian promised as he nodded to Nick, signaling that he should find the doctor anyway just as Fins phone rang.

"I need to take this. Baby girl I'm right outside"

"Thank you Fin" she said through her tears, still holding on to Brian.

"I know you don't want to sleep, but what it if you just lie down?"

"No. if I lie down I'll go to sleep…I don't wanna sleep!"

"Liv please"

"I said no!" she yelled.

"And this is the exact reason why you don't give a cunt options!" Harlan yelled. Olivia's blood ran cold.

"This isn't real!"

"Oh I'm real darlin! Don't wanna sleep? Let's fuck!" he grinned before he smothered her mouth with his as she fought against him.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

In the bedroom that had been her prison she opened her eyes from the terrible dream but she didn't scream. She had had these dreams far too many times for far too long to let them cause such a reaction and instead, she pulled herself up and sank her face into her palms as she wept silently for a long moment before running her hands through her hair. Greeted by the warmth of the sunshine that filled the room, she looked toward it then closed her eyes again. At one time the sun was the only thing that made her days bearable because if gave her hope though that hope never lasted long once the reality of her situation would slap her in the face - a reality that hard grown harsher since she'd taken that pregnancy test a little over a month ago and now, it didn't make a difference one way or the other.

_maybe after I get that bun in your oven…_

She shook her head as new tears began to flow and thoughts of the room downstairs took hold. She remembered that night he'd dragged her down there. It was her punishment for trying to run away again the day before, despite her pleading with him that she felt sick but when it became clear just what he had in store for her that night…

_Don't think about it. _She told herself and wiped her tears, her sudden nausea sending her running for the bathroom.

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Back at the sixteenth, Nick and Fin entered the squad room ready to start the day and were both surprised to see Amanda sitting at her desk in yesterday's clothes, guzzling coffee while pouring over case files her eyes red and bulging.

"You been here all night?" Fin asked

"I was on my way out the door but then I got an idea and started diggin… ran into a dead end but then something else came to mind and before I knew it, was mornin.

"What were you lookin for?" Fin asked

"And are those Lewis' case files?" Nick added as he took a seat

"yeah I just…I got to thinkin, that maybe it was somehow tied to him so I started lookin for family"

"What'd you find?"

"Well, nothin. His momma, Johnnie-Lee Lewis disappeared in 1983, never heard from again. His father, Harlan Lewis died – burned to death in a car accident back in '93, no brothers or sisters or other family. But then I got to thinkin, what if someone else had a motive, someone not related? Do y'all remember the redheaded juror from his trial, uh…Bronwyn"

"Yeah…what about her?" Fin was curious

"She fell under Lewis' spell, helped him escape from prison – not the first time that it's happened. I mean Ted Bundy, Robert Morton, hell, even Charles Manson; they all had women who fel in love with them from outside and vowed their love and devotion to them"

"So?" Nicked shrugged

"So…" Amanda said as she got up from her desk and walked over to the evidence board to show them what she'd been thinking. "What if Lewis has more of those same devoted followers? What if one – or more of them were so angry at his death that they wanted someone to pay? Who better than Olivia? I mean she nearly killed him the first time, had him sent to prison then he breaks out, comes after her again but this time he ends up dead and she's hailed a hero."

"And you think we're dealin with a lunatic with an axe to grind?" Fin asked "Hmm"

"It's not that far out there. How else can we explain her disappearance just a week after he dies? I'm tellin y'all, this is somehow related to him, I feel it in my gut!"

"Alright so let's say you're on to something and Lewis' psycho fans are involved, where the hell have they taken her and if they haven't killed her, why are they hiding her and what's the endgame here?" Nick wondered.

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><p>She gripped the toilet bowl so hard as she vomited, her knuckles were white and she felt as if her insides were being forced out with each heave.<p>

_Why can't I get rid of this bug?_ she wondered before throwing up again; she'd actually broken into a sweat from the effort. When she felt like she was done she lowered the lid and flushed, needing to catch her breath before she got up to rinse her mouth.

"It's not a bug, it's a baby" Sealview Olivia yelled from the bedroom

_I thought I made that part clear…there is no baby! _Current Olivia thought to herself

"What is gonna take to make you accept this? Your water breaking?" Olivia didn't give and answer, she just went about cleaning her mouth

"Liv?" Sealview called. Still no answer, Olivia went to the shower and turned on the water

"Are we ignoring us?" Beach house asked Sealview

Olivia did just that as she stepped under the water.

"You're scaring us!"

"GO AWAY!" Olivia screamed, tears falling as she sank down into the tub

"Liv?" Sealview called, scared to death for her future self but Olivia gave no answer, just sat with her knees against her chest sobbing pitifully as the water beat against her skin. The two Olivia's looked at one another then down at their current self who was falling apart. She was hanging by a very thin emotional thread and by the looks of it, it wouldn't be long before that thread gave and snapped.

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**See you all soon with chapter ten. How about a quick review? No twitter spoilers, please.**


	10. Breaking Points

**Chapter ten already, wow! Can I just take a minute to say how amazing my readers are? I seriously mean that with all my heart, thanks for reading and encouraging the insanity that comes from my unstable little head. I only hope that I can continue to make this horrifically enjoyable for you guys. Dick's stuff is his, mine is mine. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Reader comments<strong>

**Saradawn723****chapter 9 .****Nov 11**

**What the fuck?! I thought she was saved and then she wasn't and then saved again! Mother fucker! This is killing me! How much more can she take? Still hatin you for this fic. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit, Miss Celie!**

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**scyndrrella****chapter 9 .****Nov 10**

**First off, thank you for this breather! Much appreciated. Unfortunately I have this gut wrenching feeling that this is 'the calm before the storm'! In words of the sick bastard "...thought I'd let you have a little pleasure before I inflict the pain" Not sure how much more pain, I or Liv can endure, but we're both still here!**

**.**

**NicoleHargitay****chapter 9 .****Nov 10**

**I really thought she had gotten free of that sicko! You are so horrible for putting that at the beginning! But so brilliant! I kept thinking if it was real or if it was in her head. My emotions are in overdrive.**

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><p><strong>***Chapter contains rape***<strong>

**.**

1:09AM she'd woken up to the pain of his knee in her back, pressing her body into the mattress while he secured the restraints to her arms. And now, a half hour later she couldn't move beneath his weight, could barely breathe or make a sound, save the pitiful cries that tore from her lips with each painful thrust he'd inflict upon her, him being abnormally large coupled with the violence and brutality of the act itself; it didn't matter how many times he'd put her through this torture, how often, it always felt as if her insides were being shredded and she begged and prayed for it to end.

Tonight, some distant god must have heard her piteous beseeching and decided that at least this once she was worthy of divine mercy because this wasn't the usual all-night marathon; he grabbed her hips, causing her even more agony as he gripped them violently and began slamming into her with brute force as he came and even as she cried, she was thankful that it was over when she felt him spill inside her, wanting to vomit when he began planting drunken kisses to her neck and back.

"I can never get enough of you, darlin!" he slurred as he collapsed on top of her. She could smell the nauseating stench of the alcohol on his breath and squeezed her eyes shut, balling her hands into fists as she pulled at the restraints, wondering if he would just decide to fall asleep there on top of her.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he grumbled something that was unintelligible, (or maybe she'd just tuned it out) pulled out, got up from the bed and undid her restraints, restraints that hadn't been necessary to begin with because she'd lost her fight weeks ago, realizing that it always ended the same way – she beaten and injured and him violently taking what he'd beaten and injured her for in the first place! She'd decided that it would be easier to just endure it since she couldn't stop it and that maybe, just maybe if she begged him enough, he would eventually have mercy and stop…but of course, he wouldn't.

"When I come back, you won't get off so easy…we're going downstairs tomorrow night." and without another word, he slammed the door shut and locked it while she lay there holding herself, the blood in her veins running ice cold with dread from hearing those words and now, the sickness that had threatened to erupt from the moment Harlan had crept into the room decided to make good on its promise, forcing her to pull her aching body out of bed and limping to the bathroom, blood and semen running down her legs.

After empting her stomach she crawled into the old, rusty tub, pulling off her gown and turned on the hot water. Immediately, the bathroom began filling with steam as the scalding liquid poured from the shower head in angry streams that beat down on her skin and she didn't so much as flinch, just went about the task of viciously scrubbing him away while she sobbed.

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5AM at the sixteenth and none of the squad had gone home in days. Three ten year old girls – best friends, had been abducted during a class field trip earlier in the week. One of them managed to get away but not before the assailant had a chance to sexually assault her and now this scared, emotionally scarred child was the only hope they had of locating the other two girls before it was too late but she had been so terrified that all she could remember about the man was that he was white with short hair and had taken them to an abandoned building… somewhere.

The man had been caught last night – unfortunately as he was trying to dispose of the bodies of the two remaining girls and after a long night of interrogation, they got a confession and had sent him off to central less than an hour ago. Now, the three detectives sat around their squad room in total silence, none of them wanting to say what they were all thinking, had been thinking since Amanda's theory about Lewis' followers ran them into yet another dad end two weeks ago. And now, ten weeks after Olivia had gone missing, 1PP had no choice but to close the investigation into her disappearance.

"I know that none of you want to hear it but we gotta face it so that we can move on" Murphy said, stopping to talk to his sullen detectives on his way out,

"Don't say it!" Fin seethed

"Someone has to. It's been 10 weeks, there haven't been any ransom demands. If she were alive…"

"She is alive!" Amanda yelled angrily as she stood up from her chair so fast, it went tumbling to the floor, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. Just the thought of her mentor, her hero, the woman she looked up to, loved like family… "you don't… you don't know Liv!" she said softer this time as she walked away and disappeared down the hall, very visibly shaken.

"I got her" Fin said, giving Murphy a cold glare as he went after Amanda leaving Nick and Brian in the squad room

"I think it's time you all face…"

"Face what?" Brian asked "Face the fact that after more than 20 years of service to the NYPD, they just gave up on her? Face the fact that she's still out there somewhere and god only knows what's happened to her…is still happening to her? Yeah, as fucked up as it is, I can face that but don't you dare ask me to face the fact that she's dead!"

"He's right." Nick agreed "she's out there. We're just not looking in the right place, we're missing the clues"

"What clues?" Murphy asked incredulously. He felt sorry for the two men before him. These were seasoned detectives who were in serious denial right along with the two who'd stormed out just a moment ago.

"You all need to come to terms with this and I understand how hard it is but she didn't walk away and just decide to disappear of her own volition. Someone used a girl to lure her and then killed that girl and took Benson. Ten weeks and not a word; not a demand, a phone call…whoever did this did not take her with the intention of returning her. The person who did this… her survival wasn't their intent, so when, or _if_ we do find her, we probably won't be looking at a rescue."

"This is not a recovery!" Brian yelled as he got n Murphy's face "and you need to consider yourself lucky that knocking a superior officer on his smug ass would get me suspended!" he spat before storming out.

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"_I'm not going anywhere…" _

She felt foolish for believing those words… of course he would go, they always left; no matter how much was there, no matter the promises made. When all was said and done, everybody walked away. They thing was, David had grown to mean so much to her in the short time they had together, she'd never loved so quickly, so openly before him.

He'd come into her life and disrupted her world in the most incredible ways; made her challenge everything she thought she knew about who she was. it was through him that she'd truly experienced what it meant to be loved for the first time in her life; love without condition or guilt, love that made her smile, made her glow and made her want more of him every minute. The love in his eyes when he'd look at her, in his voice whenever he'd say her name, in his smile, in his touch; she'd trusted this love, believed in it heart and soul, opened herself to it and let herself build dreams around it – marriage… children… a lifetime together. Only to have that fateful day arrive when once again, love let her go and she found herself once again struggling to pick up the pieces and start again.

She never got back to sleep after Harlan's visit last night, she just lay there bed replaying her life through her head; rethinking everything. She'd been doing a lot of that lately with nothing but time on her hands.

Sealview and Beach house stood together by the glass-brick window of the bedroom as they both looked over at Olivia who lay motionless in bed, curled on her side and staring at nothing.

"She's been like that for hours; hasn't moved or said a word!" Beach house whispered to Sealview

"Should we worry now?"

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here" Olivia's dull, quiet voice said from across the room.

"Well thank god you haven't completely checked out on us!" Sealview said as she approached the bed.

"Not for lack of want…" Olivia said in that same dull voice without looking at either of her other selves. She put her hand to her stomach and winced in discomfort as she pressed her palm against it.

"Maybe we could try eating something?" Beach house Olivia suggested

"I'm not hungry"

"But the baby…"

"I don't care" she said barely above a whisper

"We have to care!" Sealview said but Beach house quieted her with a look that told her to let it go for now.

"He's taking me downstairs again…I can't go back in that room" Olivia cried almost silently, talking to herself as she recalled that horrible night six weeks ago "there were so many and he stood there and watched… he took their money and he let them…I can't go through that again" she said inaudibly, her voice trailing off as she retreated to her thoughts, shutting out her past selves.

**That's all folks! I may take a little break before the next few chapters but it won't be a long one. In the meantime, how about a little review action? Oh, and reminder, please no twitter spoilers. Thanks guys!**


	11. Stripped

"_**Taking a break"**_** I said! **_**"Need some time"**_** I said! This story won't let me go! And I know…I'm Lucifer's sister but I swear, I have a way out of this for Olivia but please just trust me and as hard as it is, please have patience; you will be so glad you did in the end. That being said, we're gonna pick up exactly where chapter 10 left off with losing her shit over being taken **_**downstairs**_**. Speaking of, I've been asked if****what goes on **_**downstairs **_**will be detailed and the answer is NO! The reason being that as bad as some of…well most of what I've written in this story is, it all served the story to be there. I feel that detailing a violent gang rape – unless something pivotal to the story were happening during said rape, would be unjustified and quite tasteless. So while that room will be mentioned, the horrors that take place inside will only be imprecisely alluded to. In other words, if you so desire to, use your imagination because mine is pleading the 5****th**** on this one! **

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><p><strong>Reader comments<strong>

**NicoleHargitay chapter 10 . 2h ago**

**HE LET HOW MANY DO WHAT!?**  
><strong>Someone needs to find Liv and kill this sick son of a bitch before it's too late. I'm starting to worry. Please please let Liv get outta this with some of Her sanity. - <strong>Have faith. I love her too.

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**SVUAddictTherapyNeeded chapter 10 . 2h ago**

**This fic gives me so much anxiety! Literally, I read it over and over again and though it tugs at my heart, I keep coming back! Why? Because you write with such depth and interest that it keeps me focused and always wanting more! I'm going to regret this, but I am so excited for 11!** - Well today is your lucky day, D2, cuz here it is! ...nothing lucky here...I...I should just go.

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><p><strong>***Chapter contains violence, rape***<strong>

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She said whatever she could think of to appease him when he'd come for her that night; cried, begged, promised to do anything he wanted – anything if he would just forget about that room, forget about the people waiting, forget why they'd come. He smiled slyly and took her up on that offer for _anything, _pushing her down on her knees as he stood looking down at her.

"Go ahead darlin, take it out!" he ordered. She hung her head in defeat as a sob wretched from her throat and her shoulders shook softly from her cries; her mind racing at the realization of what she was about to do but knowing that she had no real choice. She couldn't go back to that room, she couldn't…

"Hell, if all you gonna do sit there and cry…" he said as he grabbed her wrist and feigned pulling her toward the door.

"NO!" she cried "Please…I'll do it" that last part fell from her lips in a broken whisper…the very last of her dignity falling with it. slowly, she rose up on her knees and weeping silently. With trembling hands she reached for his belt buckle, fighting the nausea that was raging in her stomach, so sickened was she at the thought of what she was about to do that she gagged as her fingertips undid the button on his jeans and slid the zipper down and she had to force the bile back.

"Keep goin" he ordered, all-too-amused at the sight before him. Her tears continued falling in steady torrents as she nervously pulled his jeans down, letting them rest around his thighs and he grinned, quite pleased with himself when he felt her trembling hand on his shaft. He knew right in that moment that he'd finally succeeded, that the last vestige of her pride was being shed right then and there. He'd won. He'd broken her.

"Now open up that pretty mouth and give it to daddy nice and sloppy like a good whore!" he demanded then snatched her hair in his fist, yanking her head back so that she was looking up at him. "Be sure to swallow" he then said with a smile.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"If Billy could see me now!" he gloated, buckling his belt as he made his way to the bathroom while she heaved violently into the toilet. He stood there in the doorway and looked down at her as her stomach lurched a final time and its contents spilled from her mouth.

"Wrap it up, time is money!" those words sliced through her and she pulled away from the toilet, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth as she looked up at him with absolute terror in her eyes.

"But you said…"

"No…see that's where you're wrong darlin" he informed her while wrapping his huge hand around her upper arm and pulling her up from the floor "I didn't say shit, but that didn't stop you from assumin now did it?"

"Please" she begged, pulling her body in the opposite direction but his grip was strong and he pulled her harder in his direction. "No, no I did what you wanted…" she was crying now, trying desperately to get away from him even to the point of throwing herself down to the floor where she began to grovel at his feet

"Please, I'll be good, I promise I'll be good!" she cried but he'd already made up his mind, becoming more angered at her pleading with each passing second until he could take no more and sent the back of his hand flying across her face then effortlessly picking her up from the floor and carrying her kicking and screaming downstairs, having to chase her twice when she'd broken from his hold and ran hysterically back to her room, trying desperately to shut herself in and screaming 'no' again and again at the top of her lungs as he dragged her out; her screams never stopping until quite some time later when her voice had given out during the insanity that she'd been subjected to for the second time in that room downstairs.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

The first time after being taken down there six weeks ago, it took her a week to physically recover from what took place; a whole week during which she sank even deeper into herself. She didn't see Harlan much during this time, whatever it was that kept him busy outside this existence, kept him away from her, much to her gratitude. He would only pop in to bring food and then disappear. The food would go untouched and she would just lie there in bed, staring off into the distance without blinking and while rocking herself, softly humming some made up tune.

This time around after the men paid Harlan and left as the sun was breaking through the night sky, she decided that she was done. She was completely out of it, lying there on that bed after being brutalized all night and when Harlan dragged her upstairs, back to her room she didn't bother crawling to the shower like she usually did, nor did she try to convince herself that it would be ok if she'd just hold on a little longer. No, she was done holding on and this time she just sank to the cool floor of the dark room, lying there helplessly in the corner by the door. There wasn't an inch of her that hadn't been traumatized and her whole body was screaming in pain. She lay there exhausted, bleeding, naked and sobbing while her fingertips caressed the only thing she had to remind her of her old life – the _fearlessness _pendant that hang from her neck. Right now, that life seemed so far away and she found her mind drifting again.

"_Not so fearless now, are we?" Lewis mocked after she'd begged for dear life and then screamed bloody murder after he'd branded her with the keys to her apartment that first night, pressing them onto her stomach and grinning maniacally as they seared away the delicate skin and into her flesh…the pain had actually caused her to lose consciousness. But even then, even when no one else knew or could see, he did. Even when she herself was convinced of her own façade, he saw her weakness, he'd somehow known that she was thisclose to falling apart and it was ultimately why he'd chosen her._

"_You're the strongest person I know…"_

During her recovery, Brian had said those words to her more times than she could count. He had been her rock throughout; her beautiful surprise; never having thought that they would end up being what they'd become to one another. Brian hadn't challenged her like David had. He never made her want to dig deeper or see the bigger picture. What they had was what it was; simple and uncomplicated and it was a breath of fresh air because it was the first time in her life that she could just be without over-thinking it and she loved him for that even though she never told him, or he, her but that was just who they were, they didn't feel a need to complicate it with such things. Still she couldn't help but wonder if things might have been different if they had.

Her tears came harder. She suddenly missed him with every fiber of her being right now and she wondered if he was okay… what must he be thinking throughout all of this; what they all must be thinking – surely that she's dead. They'd be right. She was tired- had been for a long time and was surprised that she'd lasted this under the circumstances but right now, as far as she was concerned, there was no life left in her and therefore no reason to hold on.

_So why should I? _She wondered as she closed her fist around the pendant and pulled it from her neck, popping the chain in one swift motion. Suddenly, Beach house and Sealview appeared.

"Olivia…Olivia what are we doing?" Sealview cried but Olivia paid no attention, her eyes blinded by the heavy tears that suddenly appeared as she opened her palm and lifted the pendant from it.

"Olivia…" Sealview called again only to be met with more silence, quickly turning to Beach house "Do something!" she cried frantically to her future past self.

"Benson, look at me!" Beach house demanded "we did not survive what we went through with this wanker's son just to end it like this! Damn it, are you listening to us?!" she yelled angrily.

Olivia squeezed her eyes shut and let the last of her tears fall, not even stopping to think about the people who loved her and would be devastated or the life inside her that was depending on her for it's survival…she still hadn't come to accept that fact. She simply wanted out and that was exactly her plan when she held the corner of her pendant to her wrist and pushed it until it pierced her skin, sending blood flowing in heavy drops. She cried out at the initial shock of pain but just bit her lip and drew in sharp breaths through her nose as she pushed it in deeper, applying extreme pressure to make it cut and proceeded to drag it across her wrist, fighting to hold in her scream as the metal tore through her flesh but she didn't stop until she'd sliced her wrist open, then allowed the bloody pendant to slip through her fingertips and onto the floor beside her; steadying her breathing as the pool of blood rapidly grew larger. The pain would soon be over… all of this would soon be over. And as she lay there, watching as the river of crimson flowed freely from her torn left wrist – the same wrist that Junior had broken last spring, and she gave a faint smile as she heard a voice calling to her, begging her not to let go but there was nothing left. Nothing left to hold on to anymore, least of all him. She wasn't afraid. Even as the voice continued calling to her begging, pleading with her, she just watched her life pouring out her and did nothing to stop it. She simply waited for the silence.

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**I'm sorry… but remember what I said earlier ok? Next chapter will probably be a big one. I love you guy's feedback so please share. And please no twitter spoilers.**


	12. Down For The Count?

**Sorry for the holdup but being sick and in the hospital held up the earlier posting I wanted but here it is! As promised, we get a twist in the story and something else that i haven't given you guys much of lately. Not much more to say except that Dick Wolf owns his characters and I own mine. Don't hate me and enjoy.**

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><p><span><strong>Reader Comments<strong>

**D2 chapter 11**

**Dee, this cha****pter has completely broken me. It has broken me from all of the hope that I felt of her getting out of there. She is pregnant, but in denial. She is broken beyond repair. She now literally feels as if she has reached her limit. Olivia no longer wants to be here and she is trying to end her life. This was a beautiful, yet heart breaking update.**

**Bobbie23 chapter 11**

***Tries to find tissues* That next chapter better come quick, I can't believe you have left us hanging like this. The pain, the torture is immeasurable. Is the voice in her head? Or someone rescuing her. Someone better put a bullet in Harlan.**

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><p><strong>***chapter contains rape***<strong>

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Fin, Nick and Amanda sat in their favorite diner just as the new day was breaking. None of them had the stomach to eat, but none of them could bear the thought of going back to their respective homes after their shifts had ended last night and so they hung out at the precinct, going over the dead-end leads they had, hoping for the millionth time that they would see something they'd missed before that would unlock everything. But when their eyes grew too tired and the words and pictures began to blur together, they called it a night.

Now as they sat in their booth over coffee, watching as the navy of the evening sky began to fade and brighten with beautiful pinks and gold on the horizon, they'd never felt collectively more hopeless than they did in that very moment.

"Less than three months and they give up!" Fin seethed disbelievingly

"Yeah well, we can't!" Nick reminded him "I know that we've officially had our hands tied but we can't let this go, I don't give a shit what the powers say!"

"Liv is out there and we're gonna find her man. We're family and we're gonna see this through, to hell with 1PP!" Fin agreed.

"I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear any of that" Tucker said as her turned around from where he sat at the counter and made his way over to their booth

"Eyes and ears everywhere" Amanda chided, rolling her eyes.

"Hello to you too, Detective! Look, for what it's worth, I think the department was dead wrong for closing the investigation… I want you to know that I did everything I could to change their minds but all it got us was an extra two weeks and that clock stopped yesterday. I'm sorry."

"Thanks Lieutenant." Fin said in a downtrodden tone

"And I meant what I said…I didn't hear any of that conversation but I don't have to tell you what's at stake if 1PP finds out that you went against department orders…play it smart, detectives!" he warned then turned, dropped money on the counter and exited the diner. As he was walking out, Brian was coming in and the two men exchanged curt nods before Tucker continued on his way.

"I thought I'd find you guys here" Brian said as he took a seat in the booth beside Fin

"I guess none of us are sleepin much these days" Amanda said and pushed away her now tepid coffee "How you holdin up?" she asked Brian.

"About as well as all of you from the looks of it" he sighed "So listen, a few of the guys from vice and major case that I worked with back in the day, they wanna help"

"I got the same offer. Lotta people are just as pissed off as we are with 1pp!" Fin said "They're not willing to give up on Liv

"I got a whole lot to make right with her when we find her I just…so much I should have told her, so much…" he trailed off as his emotions got the best of him and he rubbed his chin as he hung his head "We gotta find her"

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"You stupid, stupid bitch!" was the first thing she heard when she began to stir, the sound of Harlan's voice but instead of the usual terror it instilled in her, this time she gave no reaction. There was no dread or fear, she gave a deliberate blink and looked him in the eyes; in hers he saw nothing but a blank, desolate stare, one that fully reflected her soul, she had nothing left inside. No emotion, no concern, no will to live; not even a will to protect herself from the maniacal beast that towered ominously above her. She had nothing; nothing but the tears that fell silently from her eyes.

Slowly she turned her head to the side and looked over at her wrist that was now bandaged and throbbing painfully, the intensity of which failed in comparison to the horror of what she felt between her legs and all over the rest of her body; she was literally bruised from head to toe and felt raw from the inside, out; it hurt just to breathe. She was sure that they'd bady bruised, maybe even fractured at least one of her ribs last night but she didn't have the strength to care. She may have failed at taking her own life but eventually, Harlan would and she prayed that it would come quickly.

"Wasn't enough to take one of my boys…you tried to kill em both!" he seethed as he got closer and backhanded her across the face, drawing blood from her nose. She didn't cry out, just looked at him with those same hollow eyes.

"Good thing I came back when I did and even better that the good old doc here ain't have a chance to get far" he continued, stepping aside so that Olivia could get unobstructed view of the portly man with the blotchy, oily skin and comb-over who stood with his medical bag in hand and a sinister smile on his face. Olivia's breath caught in her chest momentarily as last night quickly flashed through her mind.

"You remember old Doc, don't ya? He sure enjoyed you last night!" Harlan grinned. Doc wasn't an actual doctor, not anymore. He had been at one time but lost his license years ago for unethical practices but he still practiced illegally for the locals. Olivia was sickened when the greasy man gave a gingerly wave from where he stood, just before Harlan began speaking again, this time with a dead serious tone.

"But I'm afraid the fun ends for you darlin. See, you can't appreciate the sanctity of bein chosen to carry my precious seed you ungrateful cunt! You think you been through hell so far? You ain't even begun to feel sufferin little girl!" he promised in a low, menacing near-whisper as he wrapped his hand around her neck and began squeezing "I'm gon' spend these next few months makin you the most miserable bitch that ever lived! The shit that made you try to kill yourself… honey that's gon' look like a god damn picnic compared what I got in store for you!" he promised then gave a long, deliberate lick up the side of her face from her jaw to her temple, catching her tears on his tongue then smiled.

"Ain't that somethin? My tongue ain't been to a place on your body yet that ain't taste like goddamn sunshine!"

She quickly threw her head over the side of the bed and vomited all over the floor, the pain of sudden movement furthering her agony. She retched so violently that she nearly choked as her stomach to rid itself of its contents… contents that made her even sicker just thinking about the fact that they were there to begin with.

"Now now, we can't have junior makin you all sick on us" Harlan said as he helped her back down against the mattress, stroking her hair away from her sweaty face. "at least not until we pay Doc!" he grinned as the pudgy, oily man stepped forward and sat his medical bag down on the bed beside her, then began pulling down his rainbow suspenders and undoing his pants

"Don't worry" Doc said with a grin as he licked his cracked lips "it'll be fun" he cooed and took a seat on the bed beside her, causing his bag to fall over when the mattress shifted beneath his weight but he paid no mind and went straight to caressing the skin of her thigh with his calloused hand before moving it to her face. she began to tremble with the fear of knowing that after what she'd endured downstairs just hours ago, there was no way her body could take him and she looked at him with sad, tearful eyes and pleadingly shook her head 'no'. She was simply too weak to do much more between last night and then having lost so much blood before Harlan found her after she'd torn her wrist open.

"His reward for stitchin you up" Harlan said as he grabbed her arm, ready to put on the restraints.

"No, leave them off" Doc objected as he stared at Olivia with lustful eyes while undoing his necktie that was adorned with puppies.

"Suit yourself!" Harlan shrugged "I'll give you some privacy…unless you want me to watch…I'm kiddin, ya sonofabitch! " he chuckled before leaving the room. Olivia watched helplessly as the door closed.

"please…"she managed to get out in a weak, barely-there voice, looking directly at Doc as he divested himself of the remainder of his clothing and crawled his way on top of her but he wasn't interested in her begging, he had one thing in mind.

...

Outside in the hall as Harlan made his way to the staircase, he was stopped in his tracks as a pain-filled sobs came from the bedroom and cut through the air, but Harlan didn't feel pity, he only smiled big and wide, the sounds of her agony in her broken voice being music to his ears.

"Fuck her good, Doc!" he yelled before he continued his way downstairs and began singing the lyrics to his favorite song.

"_In the mornin, in the evenin, ain't we got fun?..."_

_... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..._

A bit later, Doc came down the stairs, his bag in hand and a huge smile on his face.

"Ain't you a happy bastard! You lock the door?" Harlan asked

"Yep and damn right I'm happy…my god even after spendin the night takin it like a pornstar, those are still prime fuckholes my friend!"

"I know how to pick em!" Harlan gloated.

"I wish you'd told me sooner she was knocked up. I know some guys, myself included who are really into that and they'll pay big for the pleasure! You interested?"

"Now when you say "pay big"…" Harlan was intrigued

"Three times what you charge now… once her belly's good and swole of course!"

"Of course. Come on, breakfast is on me!" Harlan offered

"You ain't gone get a piece of that first?" Doc asked

"It's mine, I can have it any time but right now, I got shit to do!" he said, opening the door just as a young woman approached, "Oh, hey darlin, glad you're here!" he greeted the young woman who came inside the house. "had a bit of a mishap this mornin, blood and puke everywhere"

"Miss Bronwyn" Doc greeted.

Months ago after the trial, Harlan had made it his business to find Bronwyn after learning how loyal she'd been to Billy. She'd agreed to keep the truth about who Harlan really was and immediately after Lewis' death, she became Mrs. Lucius Holmes – the name he'd assumed after faking his death in 1993 to avoid a conviction for rape and Murder in Kentucky. Bronwyn went on about her life in New York City and Came here to visit when she could so as not to draw suspicion until the time came for them to leave once the baby came.

"Hello Doc." She said as Doc told Harlan he'd wait outside and left house. Bronwyn shut the door before she turned to Harlan "I'll clean it right away dear" she replied as she put her bag down and wrapped her arms around Harlan. "But little William is okay?"

"Junior's fine…no thanks to his whore mother, but fine nonetheless!"

"That woman hates the Lewis name and all that it stands for! If it weren't for her, I'd still have him!" she cried, so full of emotion that she had to remove her glasses to wipe her eyes (of tears that weren't there) before tossing her thick, curly red hair in a bid to compose herself

"Well darlin now ya got me!" he grinned

"And I thank my lucky stars every day that you're my husband." She gushed "William would have wanted it this way!"

"Yeah well… you get that mess cleaned up and hands off the whore, she's weaker than a god damn kitten right now and we don't wanna push our luck!"

"Of course dear, little William comes first." She smiled in a Stepford-ish manner before heading toward the kitchen but then stopping and turning around. "And might I say, Sir, that I'm so completely honored that you've chosen me to be William's mother? the only thing that could have made me more proud is if you'd chosen me to carry him as well. But I understand; that bitch took him away, she has to be the one to give him back." she said with an eerie smile before retreating to the kitchen to collect cleaning supplies.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Upstairs, as her eyes grew heavy with sleep pulling her into its merciful embrace, Olivia couldn't help replaying the voice she heard calling to her as she lay on the floor hours ago, attempting to bring about her own death; the same voice she'd continued hearing even after falling unconscious, Elliot's voice. It had given her comfort even in her darkest moment when she'd wanted nothing more than to slip away but at the same time, there was terrible sadness at knowing that he was gone, that they were gone, that everything they had like everything she'd ever had, had become nothing more than painful memories. It was the reason that she hadn't tried to save herself after what she'd done, to what end? Even feeling that sliver of comfort as she lay bleeding out, if she'd tried foing back it would serve her no purpose in life. The voice that had been a figment of her imagination near death would never again offer her that comfort in life. He would never again tell her that things would be alright with such conviction that she'd believe it with her soul! She'd never again feel his arms hold her close and make her feel the peace that only he could, so why live?

"You don't want to die" Beach house said quietly from where she lay beside her current self, her burned and cut arms wrapped loving around her bruised, naked body.

"Why do you keep coming back?" Current Olivia asked her past self, tears still flowing freely from her eyes.

"Because, I know that we have fight left" she whispered

"Just let me go"

"I would if I thought it was what you really want" Beach house said in a sad whisper

"If what I did wasn't enough to convince you..."

"I'm more concerned with what you did now" Beach house said with a smirk that current Olivia couldn't see. "I believe that in spite of what you felt last night, you know that you have to live, that you have to survive, not just for yourself but for this baby...you have to fight for him!" She told current Olivia, as she put her hand to her stomach. Olivia was quickly fading to the sleep she so craved to escape the hell she'd just gone through.

"You did what you just did because you know that you have to live, that you have to protect this little one" Beach house continued in that same sweet whisper. "Sleep now...forget everything and sleep. And when you're stronger, we'll do what needs todonedone!" She said directly into the ear of her current self.

"Stay with me" current Olivia pled with her past self as she closed her eyes.

"Don't worry, we're here" Sealview promised her as she appeared, grinning fiendishly at Beach house. The tide was turning. "And when you wake up...we'll be right here" she whispered melodically. And Olivia drifted off; her hand beneath the pillow, curled around her prize. Unbeknownst to either Harlan or Doc, while the latter lay on top of her grunting like a sweaty pig as he violated her, his overturned bag revealed a glimpse of an old scalpel to Olivia and she quickly reached inside, allowing her slender fingers to grab hold of it and slide it beneath the pillow all without Doc ever taking notice. She'd intended to slice into the filthy bastard while she lay beneath him in agony but realized that she was too weak to fend off Harlan even if she could kill Doc in his vulnerable position and she gave up but held onto the weapon in spite of her hopelessness. But now, she knew exactly what needed to be done; the cold rusty steel that lay in her grasp would be her ticket out of this nightmare and this time, unlike her terrified attempt with the hanger, she wouldn't miss!

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**Gonna be some stuff comin up in 13! Oh yes! So what did you guts think of my little twist of adding the redheaded juror to our lovely mess? How about a review? Oh and Lucy...puppies, kittens and rainbows were present. Guess you ship Bensaro now! Oh, and please no twitter spoilers.**


	13. Hindsight

**Thirteen…I really, truly and seriously need a damn break from this story. But of course we know that that ain't happening so I might as well deal with it. Gonna apologize up front for a few things in this chapter, one that is not the usual but some of you won't like it and I'm sorry but the story is God and when god says go… Anyway, Dick Wolf owns what's his, I own what's mine, enjoy what you can. Thanks for all the well wishes and concern for me being sick. I'm doing a lot better now and am out of the hospital and hopefully it stays that way. Thanks for being the most awesome readers a girl could ever ask for!**

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><p><strong>Reader comments:<strong>

**lucyspencer chapter 12 . Nov 21**

**I was wondering how she was going to be 'rescued' from her suicide attempt, but this was worse than I anticipated. And I had been worried that he'd start pimping her out to sickos with a pregnancy fetish...ugh, I wish I felt confident that she'll be able to escape, but I know you must have a twist coming that I'm not expecting! - **Dammit Lucy, stop reading my mind!

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**XxSamanthakingxx chapter 12 . Nov 21**

**Ooooooooo so good! I'm so excited for the next chapter. It's funny how you can feel so defeated for the character and now hope springs in and all that desperation is gone! - **Uhhhh... yeah!

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**Bobbie23 chapter 12 . Nov 21**

**She's got her fight back! Rainbows and freakin' puppies? You know how to play with our hearts. You're an evil woman. I think it could have only been Elliot's voice, because he's the only one who could convince her not give up on herself. Hope there's a bloodbath in thirteen, Harlan at the centre of one puddle and the juror in another.** - As long as I breathe, Elliot Stabler will be Olivia's guiding light...except Tangled Webs, I... But not quite the bloodbath...yet!

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**roach890 chapter 12 . Nov 21**

**Jeeze, this is dark, seriously hoping for some major Dark Benson Vengeance here. cause DAMN.** - It's comin baby! Sit tight and trust me. Soon!

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**And guys, i love you all, but to those who keep requesting that I go into detail about the things that happen to Olivia in the downstairs room, I think I've pretty clearly let it be known what's happening to her and I refuse to be graphic and describe that horror. Let it go.**

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After changing clothes, Bronwyn went upstairs to the bedroom where Olivia lay curled up in a deep slumber. One look at the severely bruised body of the woman who Bronwyn considered her enemy and she felt a lump rise in her throat and wondered exactly what had happened to cause such injuries.

"This can't be good for William" she said to herself, looking again at Olivia before covering her with the bed sheet then quietly going about cleaning the bedroom, careful that she didn't interrupt her sleep, the last thing she wanted was a confrontation and decided that the longer she could avoid it, the better.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

It would be late night before Olivia would wake up. She opened her eyes and listened to the quite of the house, breathing a sigh of relief that Harlan wasn't there to greet her but nervous all the same that candles had been lit in the room, that usually mean that he would be coming and she silently prayed that he wouldn't. After what she'd gone through last night just to be hurt again by Doc this morning…she couldn't take Harlan and just the thought of possibly having to, sent her heart pounding hard against her already sore ribs. She winced as she pulled herself from bed and made her way to the bathroom on slow, shaky legs so that she could cleanse herself, sinking her aching body into the bathtub and letting the scalding hot water rain over her.

After she was done and had pulled on a fresh gown, she walked over to the window and looked up at what she could make out of the moon and a chill suddenly went through her when she heard the locks began twisting on the door. She immediately shut her eyes, wishing that she was holding that scalpel right now.

The door opened and Olivia listened as footsteps tread across the wooden floor as she heard the dogs barking and scratching outside the door. But the footsteps were unfamiliar to her; they definitely weren't Harlan's.

"I see you're awake" the voice said; the voice of a woman… one that sounded all too familiar even though Olivia couldn't quite place how she knew it as she heard the door being locked from the inside then sighed and opened her eyes.

"I bought you something to eat… you must be famished, you've been asleep all day" the woman said. Slowly, Olivia turned around and was shocked to see the young woman who served as a juror on William Lewis' trial; the same young woman who had been responsible for helping him escape from prison three months ago enabling him to kidnap Amelia and lure her to him and…

"You did this!" Olivia said angrily, in disbelief as she stood face to face with the young woman, her voice still low, broken and weak.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Bronwyn denied haughtily as she sat the wooden tray down at the foot of the bed.

"If it hadn't been for you, interfering with the trial, with his sentence…he never would have gotten out, he wouldn't have killed himself and I wouldn't be here…this is all because of you!"

"You are here because Harlan chose you for a mission of the utmost importance; in spite of the fact that you killed William." Bronwyn said with total composure as she took a seat beside the tray

"He killed himself!"

"Perhaps that's what you managed to convince the grand jury, but I know the truth and so does Harlan and that is the reason you are here." she continued calmly as if she were merely reading a shopping list. "It's your responsibility to make sure that the Lewis bloodline continues… you should consider it an honor to have your womb filled with my husband's precious seed" she smiled

"Husband? You mean then violent, sadistic rapist who's holding me hostage?"

"He's never laid a hand on me"

"And you think I did this to myself? That I've been here, almost 3 months, confined to a locked room because it's my idea of fun?"

"You should eat."

"I'm not hungry" Olivia said as she ran her hands through her damp hair and squeezed her eyes shut in frustration.

"Still, you should eat. Harlan says I shouldn't engage you. He wouldn't like it" she said as she turned to leave then stopped and turned back around. "You should know that I found what was under the pillow. Be thankful that I didn't tell Harlan." She said before again turning to leave the room but was sidetracked when her head exploded with pain as Olivia, using what little strength she'd recuperated, smashed the tray against Bronwyn's skull, sending food flying everywhere and knocking her to the floor with a thud then dropping the tray beside her on the floor. her first instinct was to run but she knew that the dogs were right outside waiting and instead, looked down at Bronwyn who lay on the floor writing in pain as she held her head.

"Oops… it slipped" Olivia said dully before inhaling a sharp breath as her nausea churned. She put her palm to her stomach before dashing for the bathroom as fast as she could with her body still in a considerable amount of pain.

"I'll chalk that up to pregnancy hormones you bitch!" Bronwyn yelled as she pulled herself to her knees and began cleaning the mess Olivia made. Ticked off at that the only reply she was met with was the sound of vomiting.

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The week that followed was sheer hell for Olivia starting with the morning after she'd knocked Bronwyn on her ass. Harlan put his _pleasure before pain _method into play, this time using his mouth to make her climax repeatedly before he tore open a scar on her upper thigh with a wire cutter. He'd ended up cutting too deep and when the bleeding wouldn't stop, Doc was called to stitch her up but of course, not before he negotiated his "fee" with Harlan and got to have his way with her again. Bronwyn was on hand to witness these things and though she kept quiet about it, it gnawed at her because even with her convictions about the situation, they way she'd seen them treat Olivia was harsh, even cruel; even if she never actually saw what happened with her own eyes, she would hear her screams and cries and but Olivia wouldn't talk about happened even when Bronwyn would be tasked with laundering bloodied sheets and cleaning blood from the floor, she'd watch as Olivia would lie in the corner, somewhere in her own head and Bronwyn would try to convince herself that this was just.

She hadn't been lucky enough to be given time to recover from the vicious gang rape that took place in the room downstairs like she had been after the first time it happened. She was sure that Harlan would be more inclined to leave her alone now that Bronwyn was here but he wasn't; he came to her room almost every night for the next six days and would force her again and again until he'd had his fill before leaving in the very early hours of the morning…he'd tied her down every night he came to her that week and had even taken the liberty of falling asleep beside her a couple of those nights only to wake up and begin all over again.

On the morning of the ninth day Bronwyn came in with Olivia's breakfast. By day four she'd noticed that if she brought it in too early, it would aggravate Olivia's morning sickness and send her heaving. Bronwyn felt bad and figured that with everything else going on, she would at least try to make things easier for Olivia in areas where she could and so she'd begun bringing breakfast after Olivia's stomach would have time to settle and surprisingly she'd be more inclined to eat a few bites before pushing the tray away. This morning however…

"Are you hungry?" Bronwyn asked cheerfully as she sat the tray of fresh fruit, yogurt and dry toast down on the bed beside Olivia who lay there seemingly in a trance while her hand absently rubbed the small but noticeable swell of her abdomen, it was as if the reality were finally sinking in that there was indeed a life growing inside of her and she was suddenly overwhelmed with a million different emotions all at once. She'd been cradling that tiny bump all morning.

"Will you be able to live with looking at this child every day, knowing that you ripped him or her away from me and killed me for the opportunity?" she didn't bother turning to look at Bronwyn

"We don't need to discuss such unpleasantries"

"Is that what were calling it? An _unpleasantry?_ I'm its mother… you can't just rip a child away from its mother"

"I'll be its mother. He'll be a very happy boy"

"You'll never be its mother… not rightfully. Not after the hell my body will go through; is already going through to bring him or her into the world just for you to sweep in, take my life and my child and call it yours. What kind of woman does that to another woman? What kind of woman stands by and watches in silence while another woman is brutalized every day?"

"I don't need to hear this" Bronwyn said as she turned to leave.

"I think you do" Olivia insisted as she grabbed hold of Bronwyn's arm in a vice-like grip. "What you've seen since you've been here is not even a taste of the sheer hell he's put me through! You heard, last week, when your dear husband ripped open my thigh with a wire cutter… it's how he punishes me for what he considers bad behavior, he tears open the scars that his son gave me…junior used an old fashioned can opener to tear it open before there ever was a scar. Before this, Harlan ripped open what used to be a knife wound on this arm with a wire hanger before he opened up what was a nasty burn from Billy's blowtorch on the other arm… with the buckle of his belt then raped me afterwards each time to "take my mind off the pain" Nauseous yet? Probably not since you're convinced that I deserve what's happening to me!"

"I never said…"

"You've allowed it to continue. I don't know how you came to get involved in all of this or why you've chosen to let it go this far but you're not like him; I believe that deep down you still have a heart and a conscience. You just need to listen to them"

"I won't go against my husband"

"You are my last hope! If you don't help me, I die! No one will ever know what happened to me, there will never be justice for what he's done to me. Bronwyn please… a phone call is all I'm asking of you; just tell the police where I am, please!"

"I have to go"

"Bronwyn please; don't let him do this!" Olivia begged as Bronwyn fled from the room and slammed the door, quickly locking it. Olivia wrapped her arms around herself, her body shaking as she began to cry. Out in the hall, Bronwyn stood there, her back against the bedroom door listening as Olivia wept.

"I'm sorry" she whispered "but if I help you, I lose everything, and I've come too far to let that happen!"

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><p>.<p>

"Seriously Rollins, Lewis's file…Again?" Nick asked but Amanda was far too engrossed to even hear him as she sat at her desk hunched over her desk. "Rollins?"

"What?" she asked without looking up. she was annoyed at being disturbed and it showed in her voice.

"How long you been in that file again?" Nick asked, taking a seat in the chair beside her desk

"I don't know, I just…a couple days"

"What do you think you're gonna find that you didn't find before?"

"I don't…" she released an exasperated sigh as she rubbed her eyes and refocused them, looking up for the first time in hours "there's a connection! Everything inside me knows it, I, it's…screamin at me I just, I can't find it and it's makin me crazy!"

"Maybe it's making you crazy because you're looking at a dead end"

"No, Nick I'm telling you, none of this is a coincidence. Lewis dies and Liv disappears a week later? Come on!"

"I just just don't want you to put all your focus into something that pans out to be nothing. Anyway, don't forget we're meetin up at Cassidy's in an hour"

"Yeah, I um, I might be a little late getting there, I'm waitin to hear from the records clerk in Tennessee"

"Tennessee?"

"Pigeon Forge. It's where Harlan Lewis died in that car accident in '93."

"What exactly are you lookin for?" Nick Wondered

"No clue, but I'll know when I see it. but I did find somethin interestin; I took a closer look at the juror"

"Bronwyn Freed?"

"She applied for a Pennsylvania marriage license the day after Lewis killed himself and used it the same day. She got married to a Lucius Holmes in Earl County where he's the sheriff, Fin checked him out, the guy seems on the up and up; been sheriff 18 years, upstandin citizen but... I mean, don't you think it's odd, considerin the way she was so obsessed with Lewis?"

"Since comin to work in this unit, I don't believe in odd anymore!" Nick quipped "And when did you find this out?"

"This mornin. I been keepin an eye on her and I don't know why it never occurred to me to check before but I decided to take a look at her family, both parents died in a boating accident the year she graduated Julliard, she lives off of a trust fund, she dun have any siblings so her parents entire estate was left to her in their wills… she's worth a couple hundred million dollars but she doesn't get control of the inheritance until her 35th birthday or her first wedding anniversary _after _her 30th!"

"And you say she got married the day after Lewis died?"

"Yep. Right up until the day he escaped, she was writin him love letters, sendin him care packages and makin sure that his commissary account at Rikers kept funds in it, I mean the woman never missed a visit… she paid for his funeral for Christ's sake!"

"So how did she go from that to pledging herself to another man less than 24 hours after the love of her life kills himself?"

"Maybe the Sheriff was her intended all along and she just got caught up in the magic is William Lewis; the spell wore off when he died? That girl is a strange one!"

"Yeah well, who has the time to worry about her, we gotta focus on finding Liv!"

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><p>.<p>

Just after eight that night Harlan sat down in his favorite chair in the living room, reading from his evening paper while Bronwyn sat on the sofa knitting a baby blanket, a huge gulf of silence between them.

"Did you enjoy your dinner, Sir?"

"It was fine" he replied curtly, not even bothering to look over at her.

"If you want, I could get desert for you now"

"As a matter of fact…" he said as he folded his newspaper and tucked it into the crook of the chair "That is exactly what I had in mind!" he grinned as he stroked his thick mustache with his thumb and forefinger and stood up, heading toward the stairs.

"I thought you'd never ask!" she smiled as she put the blanket and needles down in the basket and stood up, so happy that she'd finally get to consummate her marriage.

"Actually darlin, I'm not. I was just gonna go and check on her" he said, Bronwyn new exactly what that meant. She'd lain awake several nights listening to Olivia's cries from down the hall as Harlan took her against her will yet still, for some twisted reason, Bronwyn still desired him.

"Oh" she shrugged, feeling dejected "It's just that… I know that you're worried about hurting me, me still being a virgin but… well I'm really ready for us to…"

"In due time darlin"

"She's not feeling well; she's been sick with the baby a lot lately throughout the day… please sir? I know that I can satisfy your needs just as well as she can"

_You fat, nasty cow of a woman! Who the hell wants ya? I sure as hell don't! _He thought to himself

"Tell ya what, I'll do ya good later!" he said before heading up the stairs.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

In her bathroom, Olivia was on her knees leaned over the toilet, holding her hair back as she threw up what little she'd managed to choke down of her dinner.

"Oh god!" she cried as her stomached contorted once more, leaving her coughing and gasping from the intensity of the huge gush that forced its way out. Not hearing Harlan's footsteps or even knowing that he was there until he appeared in the doorway of the bathroom.

"Good girl. Already on your knees for Daddy!" he grinned as Olivia looked up at him, fear and disgust in her eyes. He quickly snatched her by the hair and began forcing her down onto the floor, she tried fighting him but he only grew enraged and began beating her for her attempt fend him off. Now ten minutes later, Harlan stood above her as she lay on the bathroom floor curled up and in pain from the beating he was still in the process of giving her. After he pulled her up and threw her into a wall, she scurried backwards away from him and tucked herself into a corner, screaming the only thing she could think of while clutching her stomach.

"PLEASE…YOU'LL HURT THE BABY!" she sobbed, and wiped the blood from her nose with the back of her trembling hand.

"Harlan, she's right, think of William!" Bronwyn said pleadingly from where she stood in the doorway after having run up to see what the commotion was about. She was genuinely concerned for the unborn child but witnessing her husband brutally beat Olivia in her condition had an effect that she hadn't been prepared to for; she felt sorry for the woman who was virtually defenseless against six feet, six inches of stocky, muscular build.

"What the hell did you say to me woman?" Harlan replied angrily as he turned, skulking toward Bronwyn who backed up a step.

"I just meant that…I…" she stammered nervously just before he slapped her hard across the face, the strength of the hit knocking her to the floor.

I'll deal with you later, right now, you get to watch me teach this one a lesson!"

Bronwyn watched in horror as Harlan snatched Olivia up from the floor, bent her over the sink, pulling up her gown as she begged him not to in front of her then began begging Bronwyn to look away when he wouldn't stop and began violently fucking her while threatening his wife with an even worse fate if she dared look away and Bronwyn didn't dare disobey him, no matter how disgusted she was at what was happening in front of her or how long it took to stop.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Olivia was relieved when he finally came and pulled out. She sank to the floor, sobbing at this new humiliation as Harlan zipped his pants and taunted her before grabbing Bronwyn by the neck and yanking her out of the room, slamming and locking the door behind them and even in spite of the horror that he'd again inflicted on her, Olivia couldn't help but feel sorry for Bronwyn moments later when she heard Harlan screaming profanities at the young woman before he began to mercilessly beat her amidst her screams.

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><p>.<p>

At Brian's apartment, Fin, Nick, Amanda and the other Detectives who were helping in the search were calling it a night after having gotten together to go over the case and discuss what their next moves should be. And since most of them, Brian included, were now off duty, they left pretty buzzed, having indulged in more than a few beers.

"Alright man, we'll be in touch!" Fin called to Brian as he and Nick were on their way out. "Manda, you need a ride?"

"You mean you guys aren't gonna stay and help clean up?" she teased. Fin and Nick looked at each other, both at a loss for words. "I'm kidding" she said dryly

"Guys, it's cool, I got it" Brian assured them.

"No such thing, I'll help with this mess and I'll grab a cab when I'm done. I'll see you guys tomorrow"

"You know you don't have to…" Brian started

"Hey, it's the least I can do" she smiled before heading to the small kitchen for a garbage bag.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"I don't know how you've been able to hold it together all this time" Amanda said before taking another swig from her beer.

"Honestly, neither do I. I mean, we don't even know if…"

"Brian, she's alive. I don't know how I know but I just do and she's gonna come back to us; to you!"

"I don't know about that part… things didn't end so well the last time we... but I don't care about any of that, you know? I just want her found and safe. She can push me away, tell me to get lost but I just need to see her again, to know she's alive; I'd give anything!" he said as his eyes filled with tears and he hung his head "I'm sorry. I must look like a wuss!"

"No, you don't. I think it's beautiful that you care about her so much" Amanda assured him as he pulled him in for a hug "We'll find her" she promised, feeling his hot tears on her neck.

"Yeah." He sniffled, nodding as he pulled away. It had been three months since he'd held a woman so close and the sweet scent of Amanda's perfume didn't go unnoticed as he sat, face to face with her. they both knew where the moment was leading and neither of them attempted to stop it when they found themselves leaning into each other and their lips met, softly at first but then hungrily, using their tongues to explore one another as she threw her arms around him and he pulled her onto his lap, wrapping her petite body in his strong embrace as they greedily continued to kiss amidst their moaning and groping. He wasted no time pulling her shirt open and undoing her bra, barely having pushed it up above her breasts before he'd attached his mouth to one, sucking her nipple as she held his head, encouraging him to suck harder while he flicked the other with his thumb before releasing the other from his mouth with a pop and giving this one the same attention. In a quick moment, he was on top of her, having thrown her down onto her back on the sofa. They pulled at each other's clothes, she pulling his shirt off over his head while he undid her jeans, hurriedly pulling them down along with her panties.

He'd pulled one leg from the confines of the denim and silk, not bothering with the other and left her jean dangling from her right leg as she pushed his down over his hips, just past his ass. Desperate to get inside her, he pinned her wrists above her head with one hand and kissed her hard as the other pulled her hips closer to him and in one swift motion, he'd pushed all of his thick cock inside her and began fucking her in deep strokes.

"Oh my fucking god!" she cried beneath him as she bucked her hips to meet his powerful thrusts. It had been a while for her too and she wanted to feel him deep, begging for him to go harder as she spread her legs wider to allow him to penetrate her as deep as possible. Neither of them gave thought to the ramifications of what they were doing, they simply lost themselves in the moment.

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><p>.<p>

Bronwyn stood staring at her own beaten face in the mirror, unable to believe that her husband had done this to her, had violently assaulted her. but the thing she was in most shock from wasn't the brutal beating he had given her; it was what he'd done to Olivia that she couldn't shake.

What she witnessed Harlan do to Olivia in that bathroom earlier tonight, it stayed with her, her conscience couldn't let go of it. The way she cowered in the corner pleading for the baby as she cradled her small swell protectively; would someone who was as cold and calculating as William and Harlan made her out to be even care so much? And then the look of total humiliation on her face as Harlan made love to her…

"It wasn't love making you idiot, he raped her and you stood there and watched while she begged you to look away and you did nothing!" she cried, mentally cursing herself as she stared at her reflection in the mirror; the reflection that she could no longer stand to look at.

_What kind of woman does that to another woman?_

She hung her head in shame as she heard Olivia's words echoing in her head.

"Not much of a woman at all" she whispered, tears streaming her face as she smashed the side of her fist against the glass, shattering it and cutting her hand in the process. She couldn't go against her husband but at the same time, she knew that to stand by him, a man she'd known less than a year, no matter how much she thought she loved him would be going against everything her parents had spent a lifetime teaching her about the kind of woman she should be and no amount of devotion to any man could mollify the disappointment she felt within herself at turning her back on everything she'd ever been taught by the two people who loved her unconditionally and loved her most. She couldn't do nothing.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

After bandaging her hand and cleaning the glass and blood from the bathroom, Bronwyn made her way down the hall to the bedroom to check on Olivia who was in bed curled on her side, staring off into nothing as she lay there in the dark. Bronwyn slowly approached the bed and took a seat beside her. Olivia's back is to Bronwyn so they can't see one another but Bronwyn knows that she's awake.

"I don't…there aren't enough words to tell you how sorry I am" She stammered as she fought to get the apology out" there was a long silence as Olivia swallowed the tears that caused a huge lump tp form in her throat. This was the first kindness she'd been shown in three months, she'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be considered and she wasn't prepared for the immediate affect it had on her emotionally.

"I'm used to it" she said in a small voice as tears fell from her eyes. Those four words broke Bronwyn's heart right down the middle and she fought to contain the cry that threatened to escape.

"You shouldn't have to be. Does he…often?" Olivia still hadn't turned to look ather when she answered quietly.

"Every day for the last three months…sometimes once or twice…sometimes all night, over and over until he tires himself…" she had to stop when her tears got the best of her and she began weeping without shame in front of the woman who had helped to keep her in this hell. She had long ago stopped caring about appearing weak when her mind resigned itself to the fact that she was nothing more than Harlan's victim. Bronwyn couldn't believe that this was the once proud woman who was so sure of herself as she stood against Billy during the trial. that woman could take on anything but this woman…she was completely broken.

"I can't make it right but, I'll get hold of my phone…he doesn't allow me to have it while I'm here but I'll get it and I'll call your squad, I'll tell them where you are" she promised sorrowfully. Olivia immediately turned over to look at Bronwyn, not sure if she should believe what she was saying to her.

"Why would you do that?" she asked, tears in her eyes

"Because… I was wrong for my part in this…for what he's done to you." she cried as tears fell down her cheeks. She couldn't look at Olivia, her own shame wouldn't allow it."I know that saying I'm sorry can't erase what you've been through, but I am; I am SO, so sorry for all of this!"

"How do I know I can trust you?" Olivia asked, her own tears falling. She wanted this more than anything to be real but she was simply too afraid to hope after having hope dashed so many times.

"You don't have any reason to but I always keep my word and I swear, I'll do what I say" there was a long silence between the two women before Bronwyn spoke again

"He only locks every other lock on the downstairs door, starting with the top one… If things don't go as planned, you should know that… and you run like hell. There's a dirt trail that will lead you off the property, you follow it, it's about a quarter mile to the road and when you reach it, go right, there's a payphone a mile down" she said blankly before standing up and turning to leave, but Olivia grabbed her arm before she could walk away.

"Thank you" she cried in a near-whisper.

"Just get out of here…don't look back, and don't trust anyone in this town; Harlan's the sheriff… everyone's in his pocket!" she said, jumping when she heard the downstairs door slam. They both did. Harlan was home. "I'll do what I can, but you remember what I said!" she reminded Olivia in a panicked whisper, then sat something on the bed and left the room. Olivia lay there in the silence, listening as the locks turned and Bronwyn's footsteps disappeared down the hall. Unable to stop her tears from falling, Olivia turned over and was surprised when something caught her eye in the faint moonlight that shone through the glass brick window. Bronwyn had given the scalpel back to her!

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><p>.<p>

**So… Brian and Amanda…who saw THAT coming? Don't worry; it's a one-time thing…unless the story wants it to be a two or five time thing. But I have no plans to let it go beyond this chapter, it was just a release and I'm determined that the story WILL NOT get its way on this! And how are we feeling about Bronwyn with this turn of events?**

**What you've all been waiting for in the next chapter. Gimme feedback , it only takes a second and you don't need to sign up to do it so how about hitting that review button? Oh and please, no twitter discussions. Danke.**


	14. Fled

**Fourteen chapters in already. Wow! Thanks to everyone who's reading and inspiring me to keep going with this. Who knew that this crazy idea would be so well received? I know I've said it before but I'm truly amazed and I thank you guys for being the very best reader a girl could have, thank you to everyone who makes the effort to give me feedback. I can't tell you how appreciated it is. Anyway, let's get to it. Dick Wolf owns his, I own mine. Enjoy!**

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><p><span><strong>Reader comments<strong>

**lucyspencer chapter 13 . Dec 1**

**And you say I'M evil! I'm happy Bronwyn agreed to help her but I'm afraid that she'll get caught, or get scared and back out. At least Liv has the scalpel back! I'm not a fan of Brian and Amanda as a couple but as a hookup, I can see it happening. They're both stressed and one thing led to another... ****I'm so scared for what could possibly be coming next :P **Well, my love, next is it lives up to your expectations

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**LandCSuperfan chapter 13 . Nov 28**

**Chrome keeps crashing on me, and IE will not let me log-in here...grrrrr! Plus the guest review spot won't even let me type in my whole username...but I still had to review this chapter.**  
><strong>AMAZING! You are killing me with this...literally! The twist with Bronwyn was brilliant. Please, please, get Liv out of there! Oh...I need more of this story! <strong>**Brian and Amanda...that was shocker! Whoa! **I'm so honored that you made reviewing this a priority. seriously man, the respect is so mutual!

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><p><strong>***Chapter contains rape and violence***<strong>

"You know it's late. You don't have to go, I mean…" Brian assured Amanda who stood dressing in his living room.

"Yeah, actually I do; what just happened was… WOW!" she grinned making him smile from where he lay on the sofa wearing nothing but a throw across his hips. "but I think we both know we shouldn't have let it."

"I never should have kissed you"

"I never should have let you…or the other thing"

"So you're ok?"

"Yeah. We were just two people who needed comfort. We took what we needed from each other and it's done"

"That easy?"

"I'm not a fool. I know where your heart lies, it's with Olivia; you love her…so do I. we just got caught up in the moment."

"I do love her you know? And when she comes back I'm gonna do everything I can to fix us and get us back on track…if she comes back"

"She will, I just…"

"What?"

"After all this time…You saw what four days with Lewis…It's been three months" Brian's heart sank with the realization.

"How much of her is still her?"

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><p>.<p>

After Bronwyn left her room Olivia lay awake praying that Harlan wouldn't decide to visit her tonight. She's heard his footsteps when he'd come up but they went straight to his bedroom at the far end of the hall. Usually when he came home this late, he was drunk and had one thing on his mind: her! But she was still terribly weak from the beating he'd given her on top of the leg that hadn't stopped bothering her since Doc stitched it closed over a week ago and no matter how much he'd tried to keep pressure off of it, it hurt like hell and was made worse two days after Doc closed the horribly bleeding wound when Harlan was so rough with her that he'd accidentally torn open two of her stitches. He ignored it until he was done fucking her then nonchalantly rolled off and without even bothering to undo her restraints, he got Bronwyn out of bed at 3am and had her bandage the leg.

She'd been feeling lethargic the last few days and she was sure that it was more than just the pregnancy causing it and those feelings were only confirmed when she noticed the area around the wound becoming red and right now as she lay looking at it, she was sure that it had gotten worse, her sudden chills telling her that she has a fever.

"Because an infected leg is exactly what I need!" she laughed at the irony as tears rolled down her face. She looked at the scalpel in her hand and she wondered if she could trust Bronwyn. For all she knew, this could be a setup, what if it was just Bronwyn's sick way of proving her loyalty to Harlan? She was usually pretty good at getting a read people but these last three months in this hell… she wasn't sure of anything anymore and she didn't trust her own judgment.

"He could come in here at any time and beat the hell out of me for having this thing" she said to heself, not even realizing that she was speaking aloud.

"She's probably already downstairs telling him that it's here; if he finds it… maybe if I tell him he'll go easy on me…"

"She's developing Stockholm! Have you lost your mind?" Sealview shouted in disbelief "You give him that scalpel and he'll take your ear off with it!"

"Or I can save myself some torture"

"What? He'll rape us gentler than usual? Jesus Liv, you really are losing it!" Sealview exclaimed

"I'm just trying to protect myself, he's unpredictable!"

"Yeah, well so are we when our back is to a wall and guess what? He's had our back to the wall for too damn long; we don't know about you but we're over this shit and we want out!" Beach house told her on no uncertain terms "We are stronger than mind games Benson, even if Bronwyn is full of shit, which she probably is, we hinge nothing on her; the second we find and opening, we're taking it!"

"And what if I fail again?"

"Then we keep trying until we don't fail but we are not giving up!"

... ... ...

"What the hell you doin still up?" Harlan drunkenly asked Bronwyn who had just returned from the kitchen with a cup of coffee to help sober him up.

"You were so angry when you left, I was worried about you; too worried to sleep" she lied as she knelt in front of him from where he sat on the foot of their bed and handed him the cup of steaming-hot brew.

"I don't want no goddamn coffee!" he yelled as he knocked the coffee from her hand and sent it and the cup flying across the room causing Bronwyn to jump nearly out of her skin'

"You're right, I'm sorry sir. You probably just want to sleep, here, let me take your shoes off…"

"Naw, I'm just gon head down the hall, check on my baby momma" he said with a drunken grin as he stood up. Bronwyn stood to meet him and was knocked down when he staggered and stumbled, landing on top of her on the bed.

"Whoops! Are you alright sir?"

"Well I'll be damned, ain't you softer than a pillow! Lotta cushion"

"I suppose"

"And hell, you don't look half bad" his vision was starting to blur from the alcohol and as he looked down at her, he saw another red haired woman staring back at him, one that he hadn't seen in over thirty years. He saw the face of Johnnie Lee

"Couldn't stay away could ya?"

"Sir?" Bronwyn asked, confused.

"Don't you worry darling, I'm gon take real good care a ya and then we'll talk about earnin my forgiveness" he said as he reached beneath Bronwyn's skirt, pulling at her panties while he kissed her roughly on the mouth.

"_He can't possibly know what I've done" _she thought to herself, he thoughts quickly replaced by maddening lust. He'd never kissed her this way before and when his mouth moved from her lips to roughly sucking her nipples after he'd torn her top and bra open, She wasn't prepared for the sensations that overtook her and she too quickly gave herself over to them. No man had ever used his mouth on her in this way and she thought she'd explode from how amazing it felt. She didn't even complain when he began to bite them harder than should be tolerable or enjoyable until he bit down so hard that he drew blood, causing her to yelp painfully like a wounded puppy but he just clamped his mouth around her bleeding nipple and suckled as if he were being nursed with mother's milk while painfully pinching and twisting the other.

Penetration was so fast that she didn't know it was coming but she screamed like a banshee. He tore though her hymen brutally, forcing as much as he could of his freakishly large member inside her before he began moving indelicately in and out.

"Harlan…please" she cried. He told her it would hurt. She wish she'd believed him.

"Take it all!" he demanded as he continued to pound her. After a short while she was surprised when she began to feel some pleasure instead of just pain and help tight to him as an incredible pressure began to build deep inside her walls and she couldn't help but cry at how amazing it felt.

"Oh please keep doing that sir. Please, please, please…" she begged over and over, her nails raking his back as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"You like the way daddy's fuckin his little girl?"

"Yes Daddy, god yes!" she screamed. Within minutes she'd had her very first orgasm and wanted nothing more that to sleep afterwards but Harlan was relentless and kept going long after she'd had her fill and the pleasurable aspect had disappeared and she began begging him to stop. He came one last time, pushing deep inside her as he spilled himself, her own final orgasm hitting so powerfully that she nearly passed out from the intensity but had a huge smile on her face nonetheless, having no idea that she'd just had sex with her own father.

Down the hall before she herself began dozing off Olivia listened for what seemed forever while Bronwyn screamed, professing her love for Harlan again and again and Olivia knew right then that just as quickly as she'd gained her ally, she'd lost it because back in the bedroom had fallen fast asleep, with one thought in her head as she drifted off; that there was no way she would possibly betray Harlan now, no matter how terrible she felt about what he was doing but she was so drunk off of their lovemaking that she completely forgot that she'd given the scalpel back to Olivia. Good thing Bronwyn was a very heavy sleeper.

... ... ...

Harlan made his way back downstairs and poured himself another drink; things had just gone way further than he intended. The plan was simply to get her money after a year and be done with it. He was never supposed to sleep with her but now that he did, well, he was seriously thinking that it wasn't the worst thing he's ever done.

"Hell, ain't nothin wrong with new pussy… course it ain't as good as experienced pussy" he laughed "and I just so happen to have the best of both worlds!" he gloated as he raised the glass to his lips but put it down before he could take a sip.

"I think I'll go get balls deep in it right now!" he said as he headed back upstairs.

... ... ...

By the time Olivia woke up and noticed the last lock turn it was too late, Harlan had he face-down on the bed and had pinned her arms above her head, holding both her wrists in and iron grip while he forced her legs apart and pushed himself inside.

Once again she found herself screaming and fighting to throw him off but only caused herself more pain the more she resisted. She might as well have been trying to buck a car off her back for all the good it did but this time she wouldn't stop and the harder she fought, the rougher he got until instead of screams, sobs ripped from her throat at the searing pain that sliced through her with each and every unforgiving thrust until he came.

"So help me God, I'm gonna kill you!" she cried brokenly, bitterly

"Well ain't that sweet?" he mocked in his most condescending tone "Tell you what darlin" he said as he kissed her neck, stroking her between her legs while she sobbed beneath him "Cuz you're so damn cute when you're making threats and all, I'm gon let you chose what hole I fuck next. So what's it gon be? you want it in that pretty ass or that pretty mouth? And if you don't choose, I get both"

She suddenly swallowed her tears at the ultimatum, inhaling and releasing a shaky breath before she answered almost as if without question in a voice that was far too calm.

"My mouth"

"Excellent choice" he smiled as he got up, grabbing her by the hair and pulling her from the bed onto the floor. She gave a strangled cry at the pain that shot through her injured leg when it hit the hard wood.

"On your goddamn knees!" he demanded. Shakily, she rose up on her knees, biting back the pain in her leg, steeling her nerves at the same time. He yanked he hair one more time, using the other hand to grab his member and push it in her face as the door keys, unnoticed by him dangled from his pocket.

"Nice and clean slut!" he said in his final demand before releasing her hair and leaning his head back prepared to enjoy. He let out a moan as he felt her shaky hand wrap around the base of his shaft gripping it firmly as she tugged on it; he licked his lips in anticipation of hers but that wasn't at all what he got. In his strive for dominate her, he never saw her hand dip beneath the pillow when he dragged her to the floor just like he never saw her grab the old scalpel from under it nor did he see it as she dropped her right hand to her side so that he wouldn't. He certainly didn't feel, until it was too late, her raise it as she held what he considered his manhood in her hand and from underneath his balls gave one sharp, clean slice that took the entire unit off.

"That clean enough for you? Daddy!" she seethed as he stood screaming.

"YOU FUCKIN BITCH!" he swung at her but missed as she sliced him across the stomach before he staggered and fell to the floor onto his back still screaming in horrible agony as blood poured like crazy. She still had his member in her hand as she brought the scalpel down into his chest again and again screaming as she stabbed him over and over, his blood all over her as his screams died.

When he stopped moving, she grabbed the keys and his cell phone from his pocket, suddenly noticing what was still in her hand and she dropped it in disgust, along with the scalpel. Ignoring the pain in her leg, she quickly pulled herself up from the floor and ran from the room, making sure to turn each of the locks on the door so that he wouldn't get out then she ran like hell down the hall and down the stairs, making it to the front door.

"_He only locks every other lock…starting with the top one"_

She literally shook as she reached out and turned the first lock, then the third, then the fifth. Her heart pounding and unable to stop her tears as she turned the doorknob and pulled.

"Oh God!" she sobbed when the door opened, nearly falling to her knees with relief but she knew that she couldn't afford it and ran from the house after slamming the door, as fast as her tired body and injured leg could carry her. she didn't care that it was pouring down rain and that she was wearing nothing but a nightgown, not even shoes on her feet; she kept running through the darkness, the bright light of the moon her only guide. She was free, finally she was free from her hell, but she knew that it wouldn't be real until she was safe and she kept running until she could see the road then she stopped when her stomach told her she had to and she fell to her knees and began throwing up.

Her stomach went three times before she fell back against a tree and with trembling hands she dialed the only number her frightened mind could think of right now and prayed that the rain hadn't damaged the phone as she staggered to her feet, her leg throbbing. It took a while to connect but when the line on the other end began to ring she broke into sobs again.

... ... ...

"Tutuola" Fin answered, he heard nothing but static from the other end and what sounded like crying but he couldn't make anything out "Hello?" still nothing "Who the hell is this?"

"Fin? Fin it's Liv, can you hear me? Please say you can hear me, please!" she sobbed as she continued alongside the road, crying harder now that she heard the comforting sound of his voice.

"Liv?" it was like he was talking to a ghost. To say he was in shock…this was beyond shock. "If this is a joke… What were we doing when I got shot?"

"Getting coffee at a bodega Fin it's me!" she cried. His heart stopped and he collapsed into his chair and for the first time in three months, tears began falling down his face and he sat at his desk weeping, not caring who saw

"Baby girl, where are you?"

"I don't know…on a road somewhere. Fin… I wanna come home" she sobbed

"I promise, everything will be okay, I'm starting a trace on your signal"

"I don't feel so good"

"Are you hurt?"

"I'm…" she saw an SUV driving toward her when the lightheadedness hit and in a split second she'd fainted, collapsing there on the side of the road. The phone tumbling from her hand and into the grassy woods as the driver came to a stop and got out of the car.

"Baby girl? Liv? Liv talk to me… LIV?" Fin yelled into the phone.

"Holy shit!" The young man exclaimed as he looked down at the unconscious woman on the ground who was soaked to the bone from the rain. From the parts of her that were exposed, he could see that she was covered in cuts, bruises and scars even to her face. he knew that something terrible had happened if she was out here like this in nothing but a thin nightgown. He quickly went back to his car and grabbed a blanket from the trunk, covering Olivia with it before he lifted her in his arms and lay her across his back seat before climbing back into the driver's seat.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna get you to the hospital, the nearest one is a couple towns away but we'll be there in no time. Please be okay." He prayed before speeding off down the dark road.

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**Soooooo… talk to me. Who saw the Bronwyn twist coming? So, I kept my word so let's leave some reviews shall we? Thanks for reading and please no twitter spoilers.**


	15. Salvation

**I love you all so much! The reviews are overwhelming and I can't put into words just how awesome that makes me feel. A lot of you wondered if the good Samaritan was actually a good Samaritan, well, we find out in this chapter and we also get some back story on Lewis's family and what went down in the past. Not much else to say except that we pick up where we left off and I hope you guys enjoy!**

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_**Summer, 1983**_

_**Wallins Creek, Harlan County, Kentucky.**_

_Inside the tiny house on Jesse's Creek Road that sat contentedly amidst the trees, six year old William sat in front of the old black and white television while eating a boloney sandwich, seemingly oblivious to the screaming and shouting that came from the tiny bedroom. His mother and father were fighting again but this was nothing out of the ordinary. He'd just go about watching his program until the fighting escalated to the good part, the part where his daddy would begin beating his mother. For him, it was better than anything he could ever find on TV. His daddy was his hero; so big and strong, everybody in the whole town was afraid of him, especially his mother. _

"_Stupid girl!" Billy laughed when he heard his mother begin to cry as he heard his father strike her and he quickly ran to the bedroom door, cracking it just enough to get a peek inside and watch as his father viciously beat his mother, not stopping until she finally gave in and told him where she'd hidden the rent money. The very second he had it in his hands, he slapped her again across the face, knocking her to the floor._

"_Next time, I won't be so nice about it you stupid bitch!" he said before delivering a swift kick to her face with his large boot-clad foot then storming out of the bedroom._

"_Here boy, buy yourself some candy" he said to young William , looking down and handing him a whole dollar. Billy had never had so much money at one time before._

"_A whole dollar! Thanks Daddy!" Billy exclaimed excitedly. His father smiled before leaving the house and going to the bar down the road._

_Inside the bedroom, Johnnie Lee pulled herself up from the floor and was mortified to see Billy standing in the doorway watching her._

_She'd been planning to run for over a year now but she never quite put a plan into motion. All she knew was that she needed to get out, get away from him because she knew that if she didn't, one day he would kill her. _

_She'd given up her dreams for him. Ffter high school she wanted to go to the Jenny Lea Academy of Cosmetolgy, earn a degree in hair and makeup and maybe one day get out of Wallins Creek but then she got pregnant with William at only 16 and had to drop out of high school. She had been the only person in her family to have made it as far as the eleventh grade._

_They got their own little place just off Jesse's Creek Road. Harlan had always been forceful but he became downright cruel once William was born and she became afraid of him. She watched as he corrupted their son, taught him how to be just as evil, controlling and unforgiving as he was and now at the age of six, her son was a miniature version of his father; a tyrant. William takes pleasure in hurting people and animals, he'll go after anything weaker than he is and his father praises him for it._

_Now, at the tender age of 23 she feels like an old woman. Yes, she had been planning to run for over a year now but never had the nerve, but a month ago she found her nerve when she discovered that she was pregnant again and she knew that there was no choice, she couldn't bring another child into this hell, couldn't allow Harlan to corrupt it like he'd corrupted Billy. It was already too late to save her son from his father but she could give this baby a chance. _

_In anticipation of fleeing, she had been saving for over a year by stashing away a few dollars here and there from the tips she got from waitressing at Homer's diner – her night job over in Cumberland and even though she had no clue when she'd go, she stashed the money faithfully, sometimes as much as five dollars in a single night! _

_She vowed that this beating would be her last as she looked at her bloodied face in the mirror and after cleaning herself up, she took the money from its hiding spot – eight hundred and thirty seven dollars, surprising even herself that there was so much and told herself that instead of going to work, she would leave tonight and while Billy had run off to the general store to spend his dollar, she packed a bag and put it on the floor of the old pickup truck in preparation for her escape then wrote a note for Harlan that consisted of seven words:_

"_The trucks in London at the grayhound._

_JL"_

_... ... ..._

_Minutes before Billy's sitter arrived, Johnnie Lee looked at her son who again sat planted in front of the TV; she wanted more than anything to take him with her and try to fix the damage that his father had done but Billy was Harlan's pride and joy and if she took his son he would hunt her down to the ends of the earth and there was no doubt in her mind about what would happen when he found her. _

"_William, come say goodbye to momma" she called in her small voice from where she sat on the old, outdated sofa. William sighed, rolling his eyes a being interrupted before he reluctantly got up and went to his mother who lifted him onto her lap and hugged him tight, kissing his cheek as a tear slid down her own._

"_Goddamn it, momma, quit!" he protested as he fought against her embrace all while his attention remained on the program he had been watching._

"_Billy look at me" she ordered him in as stern a voice as she could muster. Again, the boy sighed and fixed his gaze n his mother._

"_What?"_

"_I made your favorite for dinner"_

"_Pasketti?" he asked, his face lighting up as he flashed a big, toothless smile. Johnnie Lee couldn't help but laugh even in spite of the fact her heart was breaking at saying goodbye to her son._

"_Yes"_

"_With meatballs?"_

"_A course silly, what's spaghetti without meatballs?"_

"_Thanks momma!" and for the first time in months, he hugged her and kissed her cheek. she put her arms around him and squeezed him tight against her, her eyes filling with tears that she tried not to cry but the tears won and fell in endless torrents. After a moment, she pulled away and stared at her son, memorizing every inch of his face – though she didn't need to._

'_What are you cryin for woman?"_

"_I'm cryin because I love you and no matter what, I don't ever want you to forget that, you hear me?"_

"_Okay. Can I go eat now?"_

"_Not yet. I got somethin for ya" she said as she reached under the sofa and pulled out a box that was wrapped in bright blue paper._

"_A present?" he never got presents just because and this was exciting._

"_It's for ya birthday next week but I won't you to have it now. Go head, open it." he didn't waste time tearing the paper from the box and when he saw the gift underneath, his little eyes went huge and he thought he'd faint. It was the one thing he wanted in the whole world_

"_HE-MAN AND BATTLE CAT? THANK YOU MOMMA!" he cried as he threw his arms around her, deciding in that moment that he loved her as he buried his face in her long, thick red hair; never having noticed before how pretty it was. Johnnie didn't want to ever let the moment end but she knew that she had to for the sake of her unborn child._

"_Don't ever forget that momma loves you" she cried "and don't ever forget me!" she kissed him one last time before letting him go. "Okay, your plate is on the table in the kitchen. Why don't you take your dolls with you while you eat?"_

"_They ain't dolls, only girls and faggots play with dolls, dummy!" he said with total nonchalance as he skipped off to the kitchen with his toys just as his sitter, Johnnie's very blonde and very buxom but not-so-bright 16 year old cousin Maddie entered the house dressed in her usual of too-short shorts, and a too-tight wifebeater with no bra that was cut too high and left nothing to the imagination._

"_Maddie, I wish you wouldn't dress like this around Harlan, if he decides he wants what you advertizin, it's your own fault!"_

"_You sound like momma!" she said, rolling her eyes. Johnnie had no idea that Harlan had long ago noticed her young cousin, she'd begun developing that bombshell body at twelve and by thirteen, Harlan couldn't keep his eyes or his hands off her and took her virginity two months before her fourteenth birthday while Johnnie was in the hospital with pneumonia._

"_You should listen to yer momma! Anyway, William is in the kitchen eatin – let him have as much as he wants, same with dessert; ice cream until he don't want it." she pulled Maddie in for a hug. "Take care yerself" she said as she headed for the door, stopping to take one last look at the place she called home before she left and got in that old pickup truck to head into her new life._

_... ... ..._

_It took her almost two hours to drive from Wallins Creek to the Greyhound station in London. She probably would have driven faster had her eyes not been so blurry from the tears she cried the entire way there. She arrived and bought a one way ticket to New York City and she never gave leaving a second thought._

_She arrived in New York and tried to look for work in beauty salons but this wasn't like back home and without a cosmetology license, the most they'd let her do was sweep up hair for a few dollars a day and with her savings quickly dwindling, it just wasn't enough. She hadn't expected that New York city would be so expensive. She wanted to enroll at Robert Fiance Beauty Academy but tuition cost a pretty penny and she simply couldn't afford it. She needed a better paying job – preferably one that paid off the books since she couldn't risk using her social security number and have Harlan somehow track her down. _

_Money was tight and she was desperate. Now at almost three months pregnant she was famished all the time and spent a lot of money – way more than she meant to on food but was still hungry. She was thankful that approaching mid-September it was still quite warm so she didn't yet have to worry about winter clothes but she was getting bigger and what little she had barely fit anymore. She had to come up with something. After a month in the city, she had barely enough to afford another week in the run-down Times Square hotel where she'd been living and she was homesick to boot. This place was so unfriendly. It wasn't at all the dream she thought it would be. She hadn't made a single friend and all she wanted was someone to talk to. She couldn't call her family because they were afraid of Harlan and she knew that they'd tell him where she was. Johnnie just had no idea that he already knew about the pregnancy – a letter came from the clinic about her next appointment a week after she left. Harlan was livid and vowed to find her but by the time he did track her down over a year later, it was too late and she had disappeared again, this time never to be found._

_One day, six weeks after arriving in New York, feeling particularly depressed and homesick she was going about her duties and trying desperately to fight the tears that wanted to be cried. When a few would slip out, she'd quickly wipe them away before anyone could notice and continue working. When the day was done, she collected her pay from the owner and was about to leave when one of the patrons who was also leaving, stopped her._

"_Dear, are you alright?" the woman asked. _

"_Yes ma'am" She quickly answered _

"_Why am I disinclined to believe you?" the woman asked. Johnnie had no idea what that word meant_

"_Ma'am?" _

"_You look as if you could use a friend. I've been told that I'm a good listener. Hugette Freed" the woman said, extending her hand_

"_Johnnie Lee Lewis and I 'preciate it ma'am but it wouldn't be my place and I need this job" Johnnie was sure that she didn't make eye contact with the woman she considered above her station._

"_Your place? Nonsense "How much are they paying you here?"_

"_Thirty dollars a day"_

"_How do you live on that?"_

"_I make due"_

"_You seem like n earnest young woman"_

"_Yes ma'am. My momma raised me to be"_

"_And it shows." The woman smiled "What if I were to offer you a position working for me? I was looking to hire a new personal assistant/housekeeper and you seem like an excellent candidate."_

_Johnnie and the woman left the salon together, she took Johnnie out for a hot meal and Johnnie ended up telling the woman everything about her life, including the details about how she landed in New York and the baby. Hugette was sympathetic to the young woman. Though she never had children of her own she was always a very nurturing person and her heart ached for Johnnie. _

_Johnnie ended up accepting the position Hugette had offered her that had turned out to be live-in and the two women became good friends, such good friend that Johnnie made a decision that would affect Hugette's life in a major way and decided to give the baby up for adoption, asking Hugette and her husband Carlton if they would like to become parents to her child. She needed a clean break from her old life and though she wasn't able to save William, she could give this baby a chance at a better life and that was exactly what she did. _

_Early March of the following year, Johnnie gave birth to a 7 pound baby girl who's hair was the same beautiful red as hers. Carlton and Hugette named her Bronwyn Evelyn Freed. At Johnnie's request, Hugette and pretended to be pregnant while Johnnie hid her condition so that everyone would think that Hugette had given birth to the baby to protect her. A month after Bronwyn was born, Johnnie Decided that it was time for her to move on. She had managed to save every penny she made while working for the Freeds – almost seven thousand dollars which was more money than she'd ever seen in her life_

_Hugette and Carlton, feeling indebted to Johnnie Lee, decided to give her the help she needed to make a fresh start. Carlton had a lot of powerful friends in very high places and pulled a few strings to get Johnnie Lee a whole new identity as a thank you, complete with a new name, social security number, birth certificate, fingerprints, passport and driver's license – the works everything she would need to start over anywhere in the world she chose to go including a bank account with two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in it, in her new name and all hers._

_Johnnie Lee Lewis had officially ceased to exist. After changing her name she moved to Los Angeles, dyed her hair, took elocution classes to lose her accent, went back to school and carved out an amazing life for herself, never looking back to the one she left behind._

_... ... ..._

_It would be years later that Harlan would find out that Johnnie hadn't disappeared with their child. It was after Bronwyn got involved with William through a prison pen pal website and William sent her to find him, making her memorize his contact info so that nothing would be written down. Bronwyn told Harlan all about herself and her family but he had to make sure that she was trustworthy so he ran a background check and found out that she's been adopted. Curiosity got the better of him and he dug deeper, getting hold of the adoption record and original birth certificate and seeing the name of his darling ex wife as her birth mother and that's when he came up with the plan to get his hands on Bronwyn's money… If only they had thought to change her name before the birth._

_She and William made plans to marry but when he died before they could get things in order, Harlan convinced Bronwyn that it would be what William would want and that together, the two of them would make Olivia pay for William's death and in the process, create another William that Bronwyn would raise as her own child. Bronwyn wanted more than anything to carry Harlan's child herself but Harlan, not wanting to reveal the truth about their connection, convinced her that it had to be Olivia since she was the one responsible for his loss when the truth was, since she'd come into his son's life and William had kidnapped her, Harlan had been lusting after Olivia but now he had a perfect excuse to do to her what he'd planned to do all along._

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After leaving Brian's apartment, Rollins arrived back at her own place, stripping off her clothes the second she walked in the door and leaving a trail all the way to her bathroom where she jumped into a hot shower.

After she was done she pulled on a tank top and panties before grabbing the files she had been working on, along with her laptop and climbing into bed she opened her laptop and opened chrome while she perused through the folder that had the info she'd collected on Bronwyn; her marriage license, bank deposit and withdrawal receipts and a picture of her husband, sheriff Holmes. She picked up the picture of the man; he was considerably older than Bronwyn and Amanda wondered if he had any idea about the woman he had married. Amanda shuddered. There was something so eerie about the man in the photograph; he reminded her of something… someone she couldn't place and it had been gnawing at her for a couple days now.

"I gotta figure this out" she said as she dropped the picture amongst the other photos and documents in the folder just as she was alerted that she had email. She sighed, upset when she saw what the email was and who it was from. The files she's requested from Tennessee and Kentucky about Harlan Lewis had come through and she never got the notification on her phone.

"That's technology for ya!" she sighed as she opened the emails, reading apologies from both clerks and then downloading the attached files. She began reading through the Kentucky file first. This file detailed the criminal charges that were pending against Harlan Lewis back in Wallins Creek. She skimmed through the file, deciding that she'd go over it thoroughly tomorrow when she was more alert.

She continued clicking through, stopping when she came to his mugshot. That got her attention and she zoomed in on the picture; there was something so familiar about him but how? She sat there for a long moment just staring at the picture on her computer screen, those eyes…the slope of his nose…that smirk…

"OH my god!" she cried, the realization hitting her like lightening. She began digging , desperately through the files that sat in front of her on the bed until she found what she was looking for and when she found it, the most awful pang of dread began twisting her insides as she stared at the picture of Sheriff Holmes, Harlan Lewis didn't die in that accident in Pigeon Forge Tennessee. Harlan Lewis was alive and well in Earl County Pennsylvania and there was now no doubt in her mind who had taken Olivia! She had been right all along, this had everything to do with Lewis!

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"Olivia… Liv come on baby, say somethin!" Fin yelled into the phone and was quickly met with a dial tone "MUTHA FUCK!" he screamed as he hurled a chair across the squad room.

"Tell me you got the trace" he begged the officer who simply shook his head sadly before hanging it. fin let out a huge, pained growl as he punched his fist again and again against the top of his desk before his shoulders began shaking as he wept, his head down in defeat. The other officers were frozen, they had never in all the time they'd worked with the senior detective seen him come so completely undone

The squad room was silent for a long moment until the ringing of a desk phone pierced the quiet and one of the officers reached to answer it.

"Special victims unit, Det. Abrahms"

"Abe, Put Tutuola on…NOW!" Rollins demanded nervously, Abrahms turned to look at Fin. Detective Tutuola, it's your partner…it sounds urgent. Fin pulled his hand down his face and cleared his throat as he walked across the room and took the phone.

"Rollins…" he began, hating to tell her they they'd fund and lost Liv just that fast but Amanda cut him off

"Fin, I know where she is! We gotta call the officials in PA, get a team down to Earl but not the Earl squad"

"What, I don't…"

"Harlan Lewis is alive. He's the sheriff in Earl and he has Liv!"

"Shit! Call Nick I gotta get PA on the phone!"

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After a 45 minute drive through torrential rain to get to the nearest hospital in Lancaster, Sam, the young man who had found Olivia finally arrived to the emergency room and quickly lifted her out of the car.

"Help…please…she needs help!" he cried as he ran into inside carrying a still-unconscious Olivia. he was scared to death and hoped that he had gotten her here in time, she hadn't wakened the entire drive here and he wasn't even sure in his frantic state that the woman was even still alive.

"Somebody DO SOMETHING!" he screamed just as a middle aged female doctor and a nurse came running toward them with a gurney.

"What do we got here?" the doctor asked as Sam lay Olivia atop the gurney and the nurse immediately began pushing back to the exam area with the doctor running alongside it, completely unnerved at seeing the bruises and wounds that littered Olivia's body; many of them fresh "Pulse is weak!"

"I don't know, I found her I was driving and she was just lying there in the road, she's hurt I…I put her in my car and got her here as fast as I could. She's been unconscious the whole time."

"And how long has it been?" the doctor asked as she stood over Olivia, opening her eyes to shine a light inside "Pupils are un-reactive" she said to the nurse

"I…maybe forty five minutes...an hour?" he answered, looking on as one nurse put a blood pressure cuff on Olivia's arm while another listened to her heartbeat

"Somebody beat the hell out of her" the doctor said as she felt her abdomen for signs of damage "we may be dealing with head trauma"

"Should I set up an x-ray?" one of the nurses asked

"Not yet, there's abdominal swelling present" the doctor replied as she turned to the male orderly standing by "get an ultrasound machine in here, she might be pregnant" Sir, I'm gonna need you to wait outside" she told Sam before ordering another nurse to get an IV tube into Olivia.

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Meanwhile, at the home of judge Franklin Smythe in Lancaster. He was awakened at 4:30 a.m. by what sounded like his door being broken down. it took him five minutes to get out of bed and downstairs, shuffling to the door in the dark.

"I'm coming god damn it!" the chubby, balding older man yelled as he approached the door. Surprised when he flung it open to see what looked like the entire Lancaster PD standing outside his home, in the rain. "What the hell is this?"

"Sorry to disturb you sir" the chief of the department apologized "But we got a call from NYPD and we may have a very serious situation on our hands and time is of the essence."

"What's goin on?"

"Sir, we need a search warrant for Sheriff Holmes home and property out in Earl."

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**I know how bad you all want that reunion scene, and I promise, next chapter. Until then, how about a review, you don't even need to sign up. Thanks for reading and please no twitter spoilers**


	16. Found

**Sixteen chapters in; wow! It seems like just yesterday I began this story and look at it, growing right before my eyes! As always, I thank you guys for sticking with me even when it was rough…not that the rough is over- far from it but you guys rock, and can't ever tell you that enough! So enough sap, let's jump in. dick owns his, I own mine. Enjoy.**

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><p><strong>***chapter contains rape***<strong>

"So he's not who he's pretended to be all these years?"

"I'm afraid not. After talking to NYPD we do have every reason to believe that sheriff Holmes is in fact, Harlan Lewis, wanted in Kentucky for a series of rape/murders" Chief Arlow explained

"And now kidnapping a police sergeant. I never did trust that sonofabitch!" Judge Smythe grumbled.

"We already have enough to haul him in for questioning but we need to be able to search that house. Sergeant Benson got free long enough to call one of her colleagues but then the line went dead after only a minute. We believe that Holmes – Lewis caught her making that call and if she is in hat house, we need to get to her"

"God help that poor woman!" he quickly jotted his signature on the warrant and handed it back to the police chief.

"Thank you sir. I just hope it pans out!"

"Shit, if it doesn't, just shoot the bastard!" Smythe joked in all seriousness.

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At Harlan's home, in the room where he'd held Olivia for the last three months, he'd managed to pull himself across the floor leaving a trail of blood and he now lay propped against the door, pale as a ghost and holding his severed penis in his hand as he called for help.

"Bron…" he said her name partially, barely a whisper before the blood that was filling his chest cavity forced him into another coughing fit as it forced its way out of his mouth and down his chin, the agony of the pain that tore through his chest indescribable but he was dying.

"I'll kill ya, ya useless cunt!" he murmured when his coughing subsided then quickly gave in to unconsciousness again. He'd been lying here like this like this for almost two hours. How he hadn't already bled to death was a mystery but if someone didn't get here soon, it would be lights out for Harlan.

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Sam sat nervously in the waiting room waiting to hear something about the woman he'd brought in, his mind racing with scenarios of what could have happened to her that drove her out onto the road in a torrential downpour barefoot and wearing nothing but a thin nightgown . If the horrible bruises that covered her face, arms and legs were any indication, he knew that someone had been hurting her but whom? Had she come from the house that sat just off the road? If so, why had nobody come after her? Or had they? What if whoever she had fled from was out there, coming after her but changed their mind when they saw his SUV pull up? What if they had been right there all along, watching from the trees? Four a.m. is very dark outside, someone could have been right there, perfectly obscured in the darkness.

"But it doesn't make sense" he said to himself "The sheriff's house is just off that part of the road" and if the woman had come from there wouldn't he had seen her before at some point? The whole town consisted of less than 2500 people and everybody knew everybody but he'd never seen the woman before so where did she come from? And if she had in fact come from Sheriff Holmes's house, why was she there? Why was she so terribly beaten and why had she fainted? Had the sheriff done this to her?

"God, please, let her be alright" Sam prayed then took his phone from his pocket deciding that maybe he should call the police to help this woman.

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Down the hall in their bedroom, Bronwyn was still fast asleep having been thoroughly sexually satisfied and exhausted by her father/husband. She lay in bed flat on her back, dead to the world and snoring loudly. She never heard Harlan's initial screams when Olivia took his member off, just as she hadn't heard the taps from the bedroom door down the hall as Harlan lay bleeding almost to death and weakly calling for help.

It was only the fact that she would get out of bed to take a trip to the bathroom that she even noticed that Harlan was gone. Jealousy immediately filled her, knowing that he had only gone one place and that was down the hall to _her! _Even on a night as special as this one had been, the night he'd taken her virginity, truly made her a woman, _his _woman, all he wanted was to be with Olivia. It was like the woman had Harlan under a spell of some sort.

"What will it take to break her hold on you?" she wondered aloud as she reached to wipe herself and winced at the pain down there. She'd torn pretty badly when he'd breached her hymen; she was still bleeding and decided to take a hot bath to ease the ache, deciding that if Harlan wasn't in their bed where he belonged when she finished, she would march down the hall to that bedroom and lure him away from that temptress.

"Maybe I _should_ help her get out of here…if only to get her away from my husband!"

... ... ...

A half hour later she was cleaned up and dressed in comfy pajamas and extremely disappointed to see that Harlan was still missing from their room.

"It's almost six a.m. and he'd rather spend the night down the hall than with his wife!" she was just about to make her way to Olivia's room when there was loud pounding on the downstairs door that caused the dogs to waken from their pens out back and begin barking viciously. Bronwyn hurried downstairs, not wanting to have the noise wake Harlan and decided that she would get rid of whoever was at the door, knowing it would only be one of Harlan's associates.

When she reached the door she went to reach for the locks and she immediately froze; none of them were locked. The door was shut but the locks were all undone and suddenly her mind began racing as the pounding continued on the door. Had Harlan done this? Had he been so drunk that he foolishly left the door un-secured? She would have to figure it out later; right now she had to get rid of whoever was outside but was utterly shocked to open the door and see more than a dozen police officers outside.

"Officers…this is unexpected. What can I do for you?"

"We're looking for Sheriff Lucius Holmes" the head officer said

"And you are?"

"Chief Peter Arlow, Lancaster Police department."

"I'm Mrs. Holmes"

"Good. We need to take your husband in for questioning and we have a warrant to search these premises he said as he and his team entered the house, handing her a copy of the warrant as they did.

"Questioning…Search… evidence for what?" Bronwyn asked nervously

"What we're looking for. Tell me ma'am, have you seen this woman? Arlow asked Bronwyn as he showed her Olivia's picture. "and if I were you, I'd think long and hard about what we might already know before I answered."

"My husband isn't here and I think I should call my attorney" Bronwyn said after a long pause

"Good. And while you're at it, you might wanna call one for your husband too! Koper, Feldman, why don't the two of you keep the misses company while we do our job. Do not let her out of your sights for even a moment!" the chief ordered

"Yes sir!" the two men answered in unison

"Okay fellas, I want half of you to follow me upstairs, two of you take the basement and the rest of you, start on this floor, you find even the tiniest thing, I wanna know about it!"

"Yes sir" sergeant Booth answered while Bronwyn, suddenly feeling sick, took a seat on the sofa, her face now ashen knowing exactly what they would find upstairs – at least she thought she knew what they'd find, she had no idea that Olivia was long since gone or the bloody horror that she left in her wake.

* * *

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At the Lancaster police department, Fin had just pulled up and parked his car in front of the building, the rain still coming down in sheets. He was about to exit the car when his phone rang.

"Yeah Nick?"

"Are you there yet? Did you find her?" he couldn't hide the pained urgency in his voice. Ever since Fin told him that he'd talked to her, Nick felt like tearing down the world. Nothing mattered except getting to her.

"I just got to the police department, I'm not inside yet though. How far behind are you and Amanda?"

"We're about 45 minutes away" Amanda answered "But with the way this rain is comin down we might have to pull over and wait for it to let up; can't see a damn thing!"

"I'll call the minute I know anything, y'all be safe"

"Screw the weather! I'm gonna rely on a Hail Mary and hit the gas, we are not stoppin this car!" Nick said after ending the call.

"What if this all amounts to a dead end?" Amanda asked. "I know I've been the cheerleader all this time but I'm scared to death!"

"Considerin none of us are exactly cleared to be out of our jurisdiction or chasing a closed case…let's hope it doesn't."

"Liv's lucky" Amanda said wistfully. Nick, not understanding what she meant, turned and gave her a questioning look

"Oh God!" she exclaimed, mortified at realizing what it must look like she was alluding to "Not the…all of this. I just mean that she's lucky to have 3 men in her life who love her the way you all do"

"You love her too"

"I do. But you Fin and Brian…watchin you three these last few months it's been more than just us all freakin over her bein gone. It's like each of you lost a limb; the pain I just…I think it's beautiful to be able to love someone so deep. I can't even begin to imagine where she's been or what she's been through all these months but I do know that no matter what, it's that love that's gonna get her through it"

Nick had a pensive look about him as he fought the tears in his eyes.

"If she lets us… Buckle up. I'm either gonna get us there in 30 or die tryin!" he said as they sped down the road, siren blaring.

* * *

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In the E.R. Sam was now pacing the room, still waiting to hear news about Jane Doe. He'd already called the police who'd informed him that they were short-staffed at the moment and that since this wasn't technically an emergency, they would send someone to the hospital as soon as they could. Sam was just about to go grab coffee when the doctor appeared.

"You're still here?" she said, surprised to see him

"I didn't feel right leaving her alone. Is she awake?"

"Not yet. But she's stable and we've moved her to a private room. is there anything more you can tell us that'll maybe help with finding out who she is?"

"Nothing that I haven't already told the police…I'm sorry"

"You talked to the police?"

"I called them a little while ago, they don't seem to be in much of a rush to get here though"

"I think I can speed things up, I'm gonna need to insist that they get down here" The doctor said

"Good; I mean you saw yourself the condition she's in; someone needs to answer for doing that to her…is she gonna be okay?"

"Looks likeit. I'm hoping she wakes up soon so that she can help us find this monster. As badly as she's been beaten for so long… I need to go and make that phone call; excuse me.

"Doctor wait…I heard you say earlier that she might be pregnant, is her baby gonna be okay?"

"I'm really not at liberty to discuss any of this. Please excuse me." the doctor said before rushing off.

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"Of course, Doctor. We're short-staffed right now but we'll send someone right out… You're welcome." Said the desk sergeant of the Lancaster police department before hanging up the phone and turning his attention back to Fin "The chief is out now with the squad searching Holmes' property as we speak" he informed him.

"When do we know if they find her?"

"These things take time, it could be a while. Hell, in this weather, who knows if they've even gotten to Earl yet? But if you wanna make yourself useful…"

"Doin…?"

"We just got a call from the hospital, doc at Lancaster Memorial is insisting we send somebody over right away. She's a ball-buster, that one! They got a Jane Doe…" Fin's heart began racing "unconscious, badly beaten. Doc examined her and it looks like she's been raped." He could feel his stomach tying itself in knots as his blood began to boil, he didn't know why but he knew; everything inside him was screaming, telling him that Jane Doe was Olivia and suddenly he was flooded with a million emotions all at once and trying to keep them under control. This could easily pan out to be just some random woman or girl but his heart knew, even as it was breaking, it knew!

"Right now all we got is a rookie to send over and he wouldn't know what the hell he's doing. You work sex crimes, maybe you could help him out, make sure he doesn't screw anything up."

"Let's go!" Fin said without second thought or hesitation.

* * *

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Out at Harlan's place, while searching the upstairs rooms, Chief Arlow's radio came alive.

"Chief, it's Sweeney. I'm in the basement and I think you might wanna get down here" the officer said

"Have you found Benson?" Arlow asked

"You could say that"

"On my way" Arlow then turned to the other officers "finish up here" he said before turning to go downstairs.

... ... ...

Down in the basement, the two officers stood in a small room that had been locked and obscured by a false wall. Inside were several monitors that fed from cameras that covered the outside property and the rooms inside the house, but that wasn't what they found to be so disturbing. What turned the stomachs of the seasoned officers was the bookshelf that was filled with DVD recordings, all of them labeled "Olivia…" randomly, officer Sweeney took one from the shelf, the one labeled "Olivia, Group Therapy 1" and it literally made he and his partner physically ill to see the woman they were looking for pleading incessantly with Sheriff Holmes while he beat and dragged her across the room then stripped her of the nightgown she wore before throwing her onto a bed around which a group of no less than ten men stood waiting and immediately pounced on her, giving no concern to her screams and cries, all while Harlan encouraged that they "Fuck the shit out of her however they want, for as long as they want."

Chief Arlow hadn't even been in the basement a minute and had already ordered that the video be stopped when his radio went live again with the voice of one of the officers he'd just left upstairs.

"Yeah Chaney?" he answered

"Boss, you ain't gonna believe this" the man said disbelievingly

"She up there?" Arlow asked

"No, but _he _is...and I think he's dead!" Chaney answered, turned pallid at the macabre sight before he and his fellow officers; Sheriff Holmes, white as a sheet in a pool of his own blood with his severed penis gripped in his hand.

"Get CSU out here" Arlow ordered.

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><p>.<p>

"Yeah, we'll meet you there. We're close… okay" Nick waited anxiously for Amanda to tell him what the phone call had been about

"They find her?"

"He dun know for sure but he wants us to go straight to Lancaster Memorial hospital. They got a Jane Doe, unconscious but he thinks it might be her, he's on his way there now."

"Unconscious? What the hell did that maniac do to her?"

"We really wanna ask that question? I didn't wanna give him false hope but I think it's time to call Cassidy. He needs to be here for Liv. She's gonna need all of us!"

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Harlan… oh dear god, please don't take him away!" Bronwyn screamed as she leaned over her husband's body, so distraught that she'd forgotten the ruse and openly called him by his real name.

"Ma'am the paramedics cannot do their job with you in the way!" Arlow warned as he and two of his officers pulled her away so that the paramedics could get Harlan out of the house and into the ambulance while Bronwyn continued screaming.

"I want that room swept for evidence! Get every one of those videos and every minute of footage that those cameras recorded and down to the station, and I want every last man in them identified and arrested. We clear?"

"Crystal, chief!" Sweeney answered

"And find Benson!" He yelled, his anger and disgust at the situation that happened right under their noses bubbling over.

"She did this! My Harlan was right, she's an evil whore!"

"Bronwyn Holmes, you are under arrest for conspiracy to kidnap, concealing a crime and aiding and abetting a wanted fugitive." Arlow seethed as he began cuffing her

"What?" She is the criminal here; look at what she did to my husband!" Bronwyn cried but Arlow paid no mind and went about arresting her as he hauled her out of the house

"You have the right to remain silent…"

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><p>.<p>

At the hospital Sam had fallen asleep while waiting for news on the woman. He was determined that he wouldn't leave until he knew for sure that she would be alright. The silence of the empty waiting room was suddenly disturbed when his phone began ringing, jarring him from his half-sleep as he quickly reached into his pocket to retrieve the offending device, groggily staring at the display screen before answering.

"Yeah dad?"

"We haven't heard from you all night, your mother and I have been worried sick!" his father complained

"Oh, God…dad I'm sorry, I should have called. I've been preoccupied" Sam apologized as he ran his hand over his face and sat up straighter in his chair. "I kinda had a crazy night"

"Son are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just…" he noticed the uniformed officer enter with an older detective and head over to the desk "Dad, the police are here, I gotta go"

"Wait, the police? Samuel, what the hell is goin on?"

"A woman was hurt I brought her to the hospital and called the cops. I'll fill you in I promise but I need to go talk to them right now."

"You always were a good boy, Sammie!" his father said proudly

"That's because I learned from a good man, sir." Sam smiled, equally proud and hung up.

... ... ...

At his parent's home, his father looked at the phone receiver in his hand before he put it back on the cradle.

"We raised a wonderful son!" he said to himself as he snapped his rainbow suspenders into place before heading downstairs to breakfast.

... ... ...

"Are you guys here about Jane Doe?" Sam asked the officers upon approaching them while they waited to be helped at the empty station

"Who are you?" Fin asked as he looked the tall, stocky young man up and down.

"My name's Sam, I'm the one who found her and brought her in"

"I'm Detective Tutuola, this is officer…"

"Logan"

"Logan" Fin repeated. Sam, can you tell me if this is the woman you found?" he asked, showing a picture of Olivia on his phone

"She was unconscious so I can't say for certain, but it sure looks like her"

... ... ...

Upstairs in Olivia's room, she opened her eyes, disoriented and afraid, not recognizing her surroundings. She turned her head to see a woman sitting in the chair beside her bed.

"You're awake" the doctor said in her gentlest voice as she stood but Olivia cowered away, her eyes darting wildly around the room as she began breathing in shaky breaths.

"Am I safe?" she asked in a frightened whisper as tears filled her eyes "Where am I?" she shook as she gripped the covers, holding them tight to her.

"Yes, I promise, no one can hurt you. You're in a hospital"

"H-hospital? I don't…" she couldn't seem to stop shaking as the tears hat filled her eyes involuntarily began pouring down her face.

"Are you in pain?" The doctor asked

"I don't know" She sobbed in sad honestly. She was in such a state of shock and confusion, nothing was clear.

"It's okay. I'm Dr. Aimes but you can call me Carrie. Can you tell me yours? Do you remember?"

"I… my name is Olivia Benson" she wept "Did Fin find me, did he bring me here? Where is he?"

"Is Fin the man who hurt you, Olivia?"

"No. he's…"

"Doctor" The Nurse interrupted upon entering "I'm sorry but the police are here" she continued as the Officers entered the room behind her

"Fin!" Olivia cried weakly, unsure that her mind wasn't playing a cruel trick on her but when he rushed over to her and sat beside her, pulling her into his arms, she broke hard, wretched, guttural sobs that bordered on screams ripping out of her as she clung tight to him, tighter than she even realized she could and Fin held her just as tight, unable to believe that after all this time, she was here and she was safe, he had her in his arms.

"I got you baby girl!" he soothed as he rocked her, his own tears falling freely as her broken sobs continued. "It's okay now, I got you!" he promised. They seemed lost in each other, the rest of the world seemingly shut out. When the door opened again and Nick and Amanda stepped inside, they were both heartbroken to see her in such a state but it was joy and relief that had their own faces flooded with tears and Nick barely able to stand, seeing her there, alive and in front of him and in that moment he he felt more love for her than he ever thought possible.

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**Lots of going on in the upcoming chapters; recovery will be a bitch, jealousy will rear its ugly head in terrible ways, emotional setbacks, unanticipated feelings will develop and that's just the beginning! Stay tuned darlings, it's gonna be a wild ride! How about we hit that lovely review button and leave a comment? Love you guys and please, no twitter spoilers.**


	17. Dealing

**I rushed to get this chapter done because for some reason it felt like it had been a long time since the last one but then I just realized that it's only been 5 day and don't I feel stupid? Anywho, here we are, chapter 17 and I'm thanking the hell out of you all for reading! i love you guys, now let's jump in. Dick's is Dick's and Dee's is twisted. Enjoy!**

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Olivia cried in Fin's arms until she'd exhausted her tears and no more would fall. Every emotion she had was raw and at the surface as she clung to him. Happiness, relief, disbelief and anger plus confusion and so much more. Everything rushed out of her all at once until there was nothing left and there in the arms of her oldest friend she allowed her cries to finally quiet and in pained whispers that begged him again and again _"don't leave, don't leave, don't leave…"_ She finally closed her eyes and let the sleep her tired mind and body so desperately craved take her under, but she was in a state much deeper than typical slumber.

Now, Fin, with Nick and Amanda sat at her bedside not having moved since they arrived and they couldn't find a thing to say between them, they just sat there in stunned silence as they watched her sleep. After three long months she was just a mere shell of herself. Nick was especially affected by watching her scream in Fin's arms without reserve. She couldn't talk, she just screamed in the most pitiful sobs he'd ever heard, sobs that broke his heart.

"_What the hell had happened to her?" _he wondered, they all did as they looked at her from where she lay, covered in horrible bruises. But that wasn't the most shocking. What pained them most was her gaunt appearance. She had lost weight, enough that her cheeks hand begun to take on an almost hollow look. They had no idea that she was with child and that the morning sickness has been quite brutal, often lasting all day and not letting her keep anything down - that was when she could actually manage to want to eat. Being viciously raped and beaten almost daily often left her without an appetite and she couldn't be bothered with doing anything other than lying still and praying for death.

"I'm just glad she's able to sleep" Fin said in a hushed tone, never taking his eyes away from her "No tellin the shit her mind is tryin to deal with"

Nick sat staring at Olivia, pure fire raging inside him. He sniffed back the tears in his eyes and swallowed the ones lodged in his throat that threatened to choke him before deciding that it was all suddenly too much and he stood up and stormed out of the room without a word.

"Amaro" Fin called after him.

"I got it"Amanda said as she got up and went after Nick, catching up to him as he delivered a blow to the wall with his fist, knocking a hole through it. "Nick…"

"I'll kill this bastard!" Nick vowed "So help me God, I will kill this son of a bitch for doing this to her!"

"He dun need to be our focus right now"

"Look at her!" he cried, the pain that was splitting him apart unmistakable in his voice. "I was the one that pulled her out of that house after four days with Lewis and that sick son of a bitch put her through it, but this?" he gestured toward her room "What kind of hell…?" he asked superfluously, unable to contain the angry tears that streamed his face. Amanda stood there, her own tears trailing her delicate features. She was at a complete loss for words and her heart was breaking.

"She… she's strong" she said almost inaudibly, offering the only words that would come

"Nobody is that strong and she's been stronger than any one person should have to be. You saw her in there, she broke, Rollins! Liv never breaks…no matter what, she puts on a strong face and she keeps going but that woman in there…that sick fuck broke her! He broke her!"

Sam approached Nick and Amanda with trepidation. The detectives seemed so intense, which was understandable but he wasn't sure how, or if they'd receive him at all. Especially after seeing the condition their friend was in; they probably weren't in the mood to talk to anyone outside their circle and it was completely understandable.

"Detectives?" he called in a small voice from where he stood a few feet away, causing Nick and Amanda to quickly turn around in his direction.

"…Sam, right?"Amanda said with a sad smile

"Yes ma'am. I'm gonna head home but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about your friend and I'll be praying for a speedy recovery."

"Thank you Sam, that's very kind of you"

"When you found her… did she say anything?" Nick asked. Sam shook his head, the very memory painful for him..

"She was unconscious. Just lying there in the rain; no clothes, no shoes…"

"What?"

"She was in a nightgown, that's all. I'm sorry I can't be of more help but I told the police everything I know. I should get going, my parents have been worried sick." he said before turning to leave

"Sam, wait" Nick called "Is there a number where we could reach you? I know that when Olivia is…she'd want to thank you for what you did for her"

"Olivia. It's nice to be able to put a name to her; it's pretty. Uh, can I?" He gestured to Nick for his phone, Nick entered his lock code before handing it to him and Sam quickly entered his contact info.

"I'm leaving my cell and my parent's house. I'll be there for the rest of the summer until I go back to school next month." he said as he gave the phone back to Nick

"You're a hero, Sam" Amanda said. Both she and Nick were relieved that he had been the one to find Olivia. Who knows what might have happened if it had been someone with ill intention?

"Nah. She needed help and I helped; I didn't do anything that anyone else wouldn't have done" he said before he walked away. Nick and Amanda were touched by his kindness and the fact that somehow, life hadn't jaded him and he still saw the good in the world around him.

"Man…" Amanda lamented as she watched Sam walk away. "Remember bein full of innocence like that?"

"Nope. Not the hand life dealt me" Nick said dryly just as Fin emerged from Olivia's room.

"She awake?"Nick asked

"Nah, I just needed to stretch my legs, return some calls. 1PP been blowing up my phone and I figured I should get back to them."

"'l'll go sit with her" Nick said as he turned to go back into the room and Fin looked up to see Chief Arlow coming down the hall.

"Chief Arlow" Fin greeted

"Detective. How is Sergeant Benson? Considering…."

"She's in bad shape but the doctor thinks she'll be fine– physically. Did you find Sheriff Ho- Lewis?" Fin asked, feeling ice in his veins at just the mention of that name again.

"We did, that's why I'm here. We found Holmes unconscious, nearly bled out. He'd been stabbed repeatedly and his uh…"Arlow paused as if the next part hurt just to think about. "Let's just say his genitals had been…reassigned"

"Say what?""Fin asked

"They were in his hand. Your Sergeant, she cut them off"

"Beg pardon" Amanda couldn't believe her ears.

... ... ...

Inside Olivia's room, Nick sat in the chair beside the bed while he gently held her hand between the two of his, talking softly to her sleeping form.

"What did he put you through?" he wept "If I could go back to that night I never would have let you leave without me; I should have insisted… I absolutely should have insisted on going with you! How could anyone hurt you like this? You are everything that's good about the world and I just don't understand..." He licked the tears from his lips "I need you to be okay, Liv. I can't breathe if you're not okay and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get you there!"

... ... ...

"So, what? You here to arrest her? Cuz ain't no way in hell I'm letting you do that!" Fin said angrily "If she did what you accusing her of, she had a reason!"

"I'm not here to arrest her. Holmes…he had the house wired with cameras, inside and out he recorded everything…in particular, everything that went on in the bedroom we found him in – the very bedroom that he kept your sergeant confined to."

"Lemme talk to you" Fin said "Manda, why don't you call and see what's keepin Cassidy" Amanda nodded as Fin and Arlow walked away so that they could talk privately. "We didn't know that the Jane Doe was my sergeant when your desk sergeant sent me here with Logan… the doctor who called it in said that she suspected that Jane Doe had been raped; was this…?"

"I don't know if you want the answer to that" Arlow said with a look in his eyes that should have made Fin back away from the subject but something in him had to know.

"I can handle it" he assured Arlow, steeling himself for whatever the man would say but he quickly found that nothing would or could prepare him for the words that came out of Arlow's mouth.

"Sergeant Benson… moments before she _cut _Holmes… He raped her." Arlow said sorrowfully while Fin just nodded, staring at the floor, unable to do more with his heart cracking down the middle "It wasn't the first time. We found literally dozens of recordings that span the three months she was in that house…it's gonna take us weeks to go through them all but from what we've seen so far, the videos… she's been repeatedly, brutally raped and just as brutally beaten and tortured. Sergeant Benson was in the clutches of a highly sadistic man and you should be thanking whatever god you pray to that she's even still alive!"

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**Brian finally arrives next chapter. Liv wakes up from her...whatever she's in, Nick loses his temper and we check in on Daddy and Daughter… oh the places we'll go! So let's hit that review button and keep it all on the low. Later, loves!**


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